Love Get away from me

Get away from me

Jinthebar - 06/05/2009 04:13 - United States

Today, I was at a bar talking to a very attractive young woman. I began to see that she wanted me as she pulled closer and closer. Eventually she pulled me in and licked my ear lobe sensually. She then said, "I wanna break your collar bone" in a seductive tone. FML

69 161

7 963

Chinese New Year: Dragons and Laughter
Celebrate with stories where tradition and humor meet for a colorful Chinese New Year. …

snitchovich - 27/05/2009 16:46 - United Kingdom

Today, I was sitting in a bar next to this gorgeous guy who kept eyeing me up and after about 30 minutes he finally leaned in to whisper something in my ear. What he said? "If I were you, I would get a push-up bra." FML

53 875

6 048

Mr. Smooth

funkmylife69 - 23/09/2019 06:06

Today, I made out with the guy I've had a huge crush on for the first time. He wrapped his arms around me, and whispered softly into my ear, "I can't wait to bone you." FML

1 596

481

Ad-s - 14/01/2009 05:01 - France

Today, I got together with a small gathering of friends in a bar. I go up to the bar to order something, but with all the music and noise, the barman can't hear what I'm trying to say, so he leans forward, cocking his ear towards me. For some reason, I thought he was being friendly so I kissed him as if we were saying hello to each other. FML

11 440

22 891

Charming

Anonymous - 27/09/2024 20:00 - Australia

Today, I was on a date, everything was charming and fun, so I went in for a kiss. She turned her head at the last second, and I ended up kissing her ear. We both went on to pretend that it didn’t happen, but the silence was deafening. FML

379

118

Joe Smooth move

Anonymous - - United States

Today, I was in school when I spotted my girlfriend in the hallway. I wanted to be all romantic and grab her like guys do in movies. I grabbed her wrist forcefully and pulled her out of the crowd. As I quickly leaned in to kiss her, I broke her nose. FML

13 524

38 479

H-B - 28/04/2009 08:53 - United States

Today, I went out with a girl who I really love. We arrived to her house and before she got out of the car, I attempted to kiss her as planned. Still drunk, I grabbed her head and twisted it when I kissed her. She's now wearing a neck brace. Real smooth. FML

17 605

89 004

Anonymous - 20/10/2015 09:44 - United States - Atlanta

Today, I leaned over my sleeping girlfriend, kissed her cheek and told her I love her. She punched me in the ear. FML

24 838

3 666

Awww, my feefees

Erick - 11/05/2024 18:00 - United States

Today, I saw a beautiful girl at the bar. I attempted to be friendly and hit her up for a chat. She called me a “creep” and told me to get lost. A few moments later, another guy does the exact same thing I did and she smiled and kept flirting. FML

454

296

0ptimu5 - 11/09/2009 04:39 - Australia

Today, I saw a cute girl at a night club. When I approached her and introduced myself, she said "Don't you remember me? We danced here last weekend... but you were smashed that night". I cheekily replied "Oh really? That's hot, what happened next?" She said "You were hitting on me. So, I left." FML

10 698

43 496

anonymous neighbor - 30/01/2009 14:42 - United States

Today, I went on a date with my really attractive neighbor, and at the end, when I leaned in to make out with her, she shook my hand. FML

26 799

6 648

Jimboom 11

Wednesday 6 May 2009 12:23

Mmm. Kinky. Though I'm more of a traditional kinda guy. I only let them break a finger or a toe on the first date.

LilKonvicted 0

Wednesday 6 May 2009 12:11

WATHEHELL?

KennyP55 0

Wednesday 6 May 2009 16:46

i bet she is incredible in the sack.

macfarley 0

Wednesday 6 May 2009 16:49

sounds hot yet somehow terrifying. proceed with caution

Isabella123 0

Wednesday 6 May 2009 17:07

Scary.... I'd run if I were you

yeahreally 6

Wednesday 6 May 2009 17:20

o____O kinky.

jjjeah 0

Wednesday 6 May 2009 17:32

This is why we sadists have a hard time picking up men.

RandomFool 5

Wednesday 6 May 2009 17:41

haha this FML made me lol for once

yer_maw 1

Wednesday 6 May 2009 17:49

now that's an invitation you couldn't refuse ;)

Whos 0

Wednesday 6 May 2009 18:16

what the **** position would be able to break your collar bone lol, i wanna try it ;]

TheJadedDiary 2

Wednesday 6 May 2009 18:24

pretty sure thats gonna be my new pick up line

RawrrKai 0

Wednesday 6 May 2009 18:33

The real FML here is the fact that you let a random woman lick your ear. It might just be me but the germs in a random persons mouth are scarier than the germs on the subway.