Health Fresh and not Fit - FML

Fresh and not Fit

Anonymous - 14/06/2011 01:08 - United States

Today, I ran out of breath while mowing the lawn. I was on a riding lawn mower. FML

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The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. …

Anonymous - 09/05/2009 15:50 - United States

Today, I had to mow the lawn with a weedwacker because it rained a lot the past week and the push mower was broken. I started "mowing", and forgetting that I am mowing where the dogs go to the restroom, I absent-mindedly weedwack over dog poop. Which got flung into my face. FML

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Anonymous - 02/04/2012 02:25 - United States - Binghamton

Today, while mowing the lawn, I ran over a hornet's nest. FML

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What. - 14/08/2013 00:08 - United States - Pawtucket

Today, my father bought a riding lawn mower. We don't have a lawn. FML

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jobless - 16/05/2012 07:36 - United States - Groton

Today, I found out that I am allergic to grass, and not supposed to mow lawns. My job is mowing lawns. FML

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Mowed down

ThatsNotGrass - 10/08/2014 01:30 - Canada

Today, I was mowing the lawn while wearing gym shorts. Because I had no pockets, I tucked my phone into the waistband of my shorts. I didn't notice my phone had slipped until the lawnmower started making an awful sound. FML

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Health is overrated

Anonymous - 16/03/2022 12:00

Today, trying to get into shape because I run out of breath after walking more than 30 minutes, I started to hit the gym. Too bad my legs didn’t want to cooperate and decided that it would cause limping-worthy pain for every step I took on the treadmill. FML

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Jack Shart Jr. - 08/07/2015 15:16 - United States

Today, I'm so out of shape that I got winded from getting out of bed. FML

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Yesterday's news

rofld - - United States

Today, I ran over a newspaper with the lawnmower, instantly volunteering myself to pick up confetti for hours. FML

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The art, the artist

waltzy777 - 26/04/2009 08:12 - United States

Today, we were having a family get together at my house. Because of this, I had to mow our lawn to make sure it looked nice. I got a little bored and decided it would be funny to cut a rather large penis into my yard. Right when I'd finished, I ran out of gas. My 83 year-old grandmother saw. FML

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tash - 24/05/2011 12:33 - Canada

Today, while I was mowing the lawn in my backyard, I ran over a glass bottle. My legs looked like a disco ball. FML

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kut19 6

Tuesday 14 June 2011 8:37

how fat are you?

Keffin 0

Tuesday 14 June 2011 8:42

"gotta work out my muscles with my steering wheel" -pants-

Epickitty58 29

Sunday 29 June 2014 7:09

Only in America, kids.

imabong 7

Sunday 29 June 2014 17:47

If you were cutting grass it could be an allergic reaction. Im in ok shape, but if i now ny lawn for 5 minutes ill ve out of breath. Go to allergist and get that checked out.

KestrelGirl 15

Thursday 14 August 2014 8:40

You know what? Stop flaming about OP's weight, it could be allergies!

theweasel 16

Saturday 14 March 2015 20:46

God I feel sorry for that lawnmower

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, I got all my co-workers motivated. We were all going to quit and walk out the door. I went first. I gave an emotional speech to my boss and threw my uniform to the ground. Then I turned around to to see the rest follow, they all began laughing. They didn't. They WANTED me to quit. FML

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Today, in art class, our instructor called me up to the front to model for a drawing. I agreed to pose because it was nice to be called on, and I needed a self-esteem boost. He then thanked me, saying it's a great exercise for the class to draw such strange proportions. FML

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Today, I went to get drinks for the first time with a guy I'd been talking to. He drank 4 drinks in the span of 30 minutes, and fell asleep at the table. I went to the bathroom before getting the check, and I came back to find he'd thrown up all over our table. Needless to say, I left without saying a word to him and deleted his number. FML

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Today, it's my birthday. The only gift I got was a book on the history of cancers. Not the illness, the zodiac sign. I'm a Virgo. I don't even like astrology. FML

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Today, I came home early, only to hear a mad scramble in the living room. I found my now ex-girlfriend and best friend in there, sweaty and in their underwear. The idiot actually had the balls to claim he was teaching her how to do push-ups. FML

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Today, I confessed to my boyfriend that I have no sex drive, but faked it to avoid hurting his feelings. It was after he confessed he is not attracted to women, but forced himself to have sex with me because he didn't want to admit he is gay. FML

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