Today, I found out that my parents didn't come to my wedding not because they couldn't make it, but rather that my younger brother didn't want to go. FML
Today, my girlfriend gave me a blow-up doll and told me to practice. FML
Today, I was at work when a customer came up to me and asked where and what I used to get my tan. I'm Indian. FML
Today, I went into a haunted house. Around 30 seconds into the adventure, I couldn't stop screaming at the top of my lungs from all of the scares. Suddenly, the little girl ahead of me, who was all by herself, turned around and told me to "suck it up and grow a pair, loser." FML
Today, I was ranting about creationists, when a friend interrupted me. He managed to mount a defense of creationism that I couldn't argue with. I got so flustered, I punched him in the face and ran away. FML
Today, we were at the end of our surfing trip watching a photo montage. A picture popped up of an ugly girl surfing so I shouted out "I didn't know Shrek could surf". The room went very quiet. "Shrek" was sitting beside me. FML
Today, my boyfriend gave me an anniversary present to mark 5 years of us being together. It was a Mooncup. FML
disown them
younger kids always get their way