Dog Jump Fail By FML Approved - 18/10/2017 15:10 - United States - New York Practice doesn't always make perfect! I agree, your life sucks 436 You deserved it 110 Share Tweet Share
Today, my friend and his girlfriend got in a fight while drunk and he started walking home. While driving around looking for him, I accidentally hit him with my car. FML I agree, your life sucks 33 065 You deserved it 9 637
Today, my fiancée bought me a luxury getaway to the Maldives, complete with a five-star hotel and first-class plane tickets. Too bad she used my credit card, with all the money I was saving for our wedding. FML I agree, your life sucks 3 467 You deserved it 353
Today, I set my car's speed to 125km/h to pass the speed camera announced by a road sign. Sure of myself, for a laugh I flipped the bird as I went by. When the flash went off, I realised that the speed limit was 110 km/h, not the usual 130 km/h. FML I agree, your life sucks 296 You deserved it 1 105
Today, I tried baking my own bread to save food money. Unfortunately I screwed it up, prompting my wife to look at me pityingly and say "Wow, can't get even bread to rise." before walking out. I have erectile dysfunction, and she constantly insults me like this. FML I agree, your life sucks 46 908 You deserved it 3 983
Today, my shoes were rubbing against my heel so much that one heel started to bleed. Not having any plasters, I stuffed some tissue down my shoe. When I walked off the train, a wad of blood-stained tissue fell out the back of my shoe. The guy behind me didn't think it came from my shoe. FML I agree, your life sucks 44 884 You deserved it 5 422
Today, my dad was so dizzy, he couldn't get out of bed. I called his doctor but sadly I confused the word "vertigo" with "libido." The doctor may have been impressed but offered me no helpful suggestions. FML I agree, your life sucks 690 You deserved it 417