Love, Awkward and Seduction: Deluxe Memory Man

Deluxe Memory Man

By Anonymous - 28/07/2009 10:55 - Australia

Today, I saw a cute girl at a bar and decided to go and chat her up. After charming her with my usual crap for a while, I told her she was really pretty, and asked for her number. She replied, "You asshole, I met you here a year ago and gave you my number, and you never called me." FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 202

You deserved it 124 293

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Hitting it off

By hihipanda - 30/08/2009 12:58 - Singapore

Today, my friend and I went to a bar for drinks. I noticed this cute girl and went over to say "Hi." I had a great conversation with her and I asked for her number before she left. She passed it to me on a piece of paper with instructions specifying for my friend to call her and not me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 549

You deserved it 3 336

Awww, my feefees

By Erick - 11/05/2024 18:00 - United States

Today, I saw a beautiful girl at the bar. I attempted to be friendly and hit her up for a chat. She called me a “creep” and told me to get lost. A few moments later, another guy does the exact same thing I did and she smiled and kept flirting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 447

You deserved it 292

By 0ptimu5 - 11/09/2009 04:39 - Australia

Today, I saw a cute girl at a night club. When I approached her and introduced myself, she said "Don't you remember me? We danced here last weekend... but you were smashed that night". I cheekily replied "Oh really? That's hot, what happened next?" She said "You were hitting on me. So, I left." FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 697

You deserved it 43 488

By 6u174r_d00d - 10/08/2011 21:10 - United States

Today, I saw a cute girl working register at my regular coffee shop and politely asked the her for her number. I was brutally rejected. A few minutes later, a douchebag with a popped collar approached her with a cheesy pickup line and left with not only her number, but a free frappe. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 065

You deserved it 6 143

Creepy

By Dummy - 10/11/2009 05:47 - United States

Today, I saw an adorable girl at the bar and I went to talk to her. I decided to use my cheesiest pick up line to make her laugh. After I said it, she knew who I was. It was my cousin I hadn't seen in 8 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 647

You deserved it 16 074

By philderichmond - 14/06/2009 02:24 - United States

Today, I met a cute girl at a dance club. I entered her number in my phone just before she left the club. With a proud smile, I turned the screen towards my buddy, showing off my accomplishment. Attempting to give me a friendly pat he accidentally closed my phone. I hadn't saved the number. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 165

You deserved it 17 589

Party animal

By Anonymous - 23/11/2021 16:58

Today, I got this beautiful girl's number at a bar. After the night was over, I was pretty drunk and sent too many drunk Snapchats. When I'd sobered up, I deleted them. She asked why I deleted them, so I said because I was drunk and didn't remember what I sent. She hasn't messaged me back since. FML

I agree, your life sucks 274

You deserved it 1 353

By Anonymous - 17/04/2009 06:29 - United States

Today, I was relaxing alone at a bar when I was approached by the most gorgeous woman I've ever seen. She was too good to be true, so I asked, "Is this some kind of a prank?" She immediately turned around and left. She thought I was calling her ugly. I'll never see her again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 210

You deserved it 78 657

Denied

By Anonymous - 31/12/2020 14:02

Today, I asked a girl for her number and I wrote it down when she gave it to me. When I called her, it wasn't her. She'd given me a restaurant's phone number. FML

I agree, your life sucks 767

You deserved it 304

By Anonymous - 01/09/2009 15:09 - United States

Today, I met a girl at a bar. After buying her a few drinks, we decided to head back to her place. Not wanting to leave either of our cars, I followed her home. While driving, she sent me text because she missed her exit. I tried to text her back something witty and instead rear ended her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 578

You deserved it 69 660

YLIF 0

Tuesday 28 July 2009 20:02

I'm suprised she was even talking to you for a while if she was still pissed at you. But YDI, obviously.

r1cthj 0

Tuesday 28 July 2009 20:02

wow man, wtf?

Comments

mohit88 0

Wednesday 29 July 2009 18:34

Pwned

soxgrl33 0

Wednesday 29 July 2009 19:04

There is no way you don't deserve this, douchebag. You might want to deflate your ego a bit.

ImFree17 0

Wednesday 29 July 2009 19:52

Ok ok ok. All the ladies need to calm down. Yeah he said something stupid in the original FML but who cares really? If the girl is telling the truth then there could be a million explinations. For example, he could have been drunk. Also, if she is lying then WHATEVER, move on. If that was her way of saying she isn't interested SO BE IT! I am a female too. I know that guys try to pick up girls or whatever but you all are trying to say he should CARE more? Naw, HE IS TRYING TO PICK HER UP! HE DOESN"T KNOW HER! Why should he "care more"? Honestly you can't tell me that you "care" about the guys that come and try to talk to you at the bar? I may only be 17 but I'm not dumb. Girls,, get over yourselves. Guys will call you IF they want to and IF they like you. If they dont call then MOVE ON! ITS NOT LIKE YOU TWO WERE MARRIED! All of you american women reading this should realize that he is also from AUSTRALIA therefore they have different morals, values, and ways of communication. "Usual crap" could mean that he says the same thing to pretty much every girl he tries to get numbers from BUT WHO CARES? He could say "did it hurt" a million times but that doesn't make him a douche bad that makes him unoriginal. Get over it. Jeeze

freded21 0

Friday 14 August 2009 9:57

actually i think he was just saying that like colloquiums from australia could be diffrent than in america. Like in england they say one word for a insult and in america the same insult will be said using a different word like how (idk if this is true i read it in a book that was written in england) how fit means hot and how in america hot means hot (ps idk if thats true but you get the point)

bee13 0

Wednesday 29 July 2009 20:37

You're obviously not as good looking as you think you are. YDI for being a ******* jerk, you ass hole.

yaktazuki 0

Wednesday 29 July 2009 23:03

If this us true, then she is creepy for remembering

penny69 0

Thursday 30 July 2009 3:10

i don't think she is creepy for remembering. I know that if I ever meet someone in a bar or anywhere for that matter, the only way I would give them my number is if I wanted them to call. Why wouldn't I remember someone who I wanted to call me, even if it was a whole year ago? But, i guess I don't give my number out too often.

awoodenhouse 0

Wednesday 29 July 2009 23:10

ummm jealous of what exactly? NOT getting hit on by some unbelievably lame guy in a bar? newsflash- everything doesn't always boil down to jealously. try again.