Work, Awkward and Health: Deez nuts

Deez nuts

By needtoscratch - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States - Duluth

Today, my dormant eczema decided to come back with a vengeance - on my scrotum. I work in an open office and can't scratch unless I repeatedly run into the restroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 394

You deserved it 1 846

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Same thing different taste

Rash decision

By FilthyIke - 21/08/2009 20:17 - Canada

Today, I went to the doctor to inquire about the rash I've been getting in my underarms, behind my knees and sometimes on my face. Turns out I'm allergic to sweat. I'm a varsity rugby coach, gym teacher, and I just shelled out a stack of cash to get a sauna and steam room installed in my house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 778

You deserved it 4 388

Suspicious

By StevieMe - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - Canada

Today, I was at work laminating a large photo. While I was doing this, I had a sudden itch on my nut sack. So I quickly scratched it away. When the customer came to pick up the print, I noticed that one of my pubic hairs had laminated itself on the cheek of the woman in the photograph. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 786

You deserved it 99 836

Broke boy

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I woke up with the worst vaginal itching and swelling. I then find out it was brought on by my boyfriend's cheap brand of toilet paper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 468

You deserved it 3 881

Right back!

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2017 but it's good stuff

Today, while I was eating spicy wings, I suddenly sneezed. I was sitting in front of a fan and effectively maced myself when my spicy sneeze blew back into my face and eyes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 418

You deserved it 938

Caturday surprise!

By keeperstride - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I tried to wash my cat in the shower, conveniently naked myself. He disapproved, scratching my man-parts and nicking a vein. I just got back from the hospital with an infection, swollen nuts, and a hole in my butt for which I had to get a shot of antibiotics. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 828

You deserved it 72 211

Who are you?

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was in the bathroom stall when a man made eye-contact with me through the crack in the door. I quickly looked away, but about a minute later I looked back to see if he was gone. He was still there and was actually trying to keep making eye-contact with me while I pooped. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 217

You deserved it 3 004

Say it, don't spray it

By ... - This FML is from back in 2008 but it's good stuff - France

Today, I was on a train, sitting next to an old man who was reading a newspaper. Suddenly, he sneezed without putting his hands over his nose. Instead of turning towards the window, he turned towards me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 942

You deserved it 2 304

Bad hair day

By Tony - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff

Today, I was fired for having a haircut that was 'inappropriate for the workplace'. I have alopecia. My boss told me to stop making up excuses. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 348

You deserved it 2 650

Close encounters

By Pinkie - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I had to announce to the whole house that I was going the bathroom, because the lock on the door is broken. Before I had the chance to wipe, my dad loudly burst through the door, stark bollock naked, to take a shower. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 307

You deserved it 2 723

Weird flex, but OK

By Anon - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - Australia

Today, I actually took pleasure in sniffing my armpits after two days of not showering. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 356

You deserved it 42 218

DooleyFTW 17

Wednesday 5 September 2012 19:00

Or you could just embrace a role as the office sleazebag! Slapping asses and making dirty comments all while handling your crotch! Could be fun?

rein 8

Wednesday 5 September 2012 18:59

That sucks balls.

Comments

Cowgirl9999 8

Wednesday 5 September 2012 19:15

I have it too but not there... Try the baby eczema stuff. It works great!

gc327072 30

Wednesday 5 September 2012 22:08

I would suppose not if you're a girl.

DarkDaedalus009 8

Wednesday 5 September 2012 19:18

I scratch my balls all the time and i dont care what people say :)

Feared 9

Wednesday 5 September 2012 19:43

Yeah that's all great and all, but how many friends do you have?

pokefan813 16

Wednesday 5 September 2012 20:31

You scratch at job interviews too?

desireev 17

Wednesday 5 September 2012 21:15

And that's the reason you're not allowed within 500 feet of a school... Or Chuck E Cheeze! :D

fuzz97 23

Thursday 6 September 2012 2:21

On 12's profile it says "ladies feel free to send me a message" Because all women want a man who scratches his balls in public and doesn't care what people think of it.

realeah 4

Wednesday 5 September 2012 19:25

Taking itchy balls to a new level...

unfortunate_13 5

Wednesday 5 September 2012 19:29

I'm sorry, that just sucks balls. FYL

esines 9

Wednesday 5 September 2012 19:35

This comment looks awfully similar to number 1's.... Hmmmmm...

gc327072 30

Wednesday 5 September 2012 22:10

This comment looks awfully similar to 21's, hmmmm...

Welshite 39

Wednesday 5 September 2012 19:30

Don't be running into the bathroom too often OP, else rumors might start popping up.

klx125cross 9

Wednesday 5 September 2012 19:33

Wow NUTS dude

pnutbutternjelly 15

Wednesday 5 September 2012 19:56

I do not have a scrotum, but I do have eczema, and I think its a good thing that you can't scratch. the last thing you need is to scratch open the itchy bumps. Then you will have a bloody scrotum that is in constant pain. As uncomfortable as the itching is. it is still better than the alternative.