Poopoo peepee, Students, College Life Miscellaneous College life

College life

rimenrezon - - United States - Tampa

Today, someone tried to break into my dorm room while I was in class. Ramming the metal door with their shoulder just dented it, so they pissed on my welcome mat and left. FML

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Chinese New Year: Dragons and Laughter
Celebrate with stories where tradition and humor meet for a colorful Chinese New Year. …

killmenow - 23/04/2014 14:54 - United States - New Orleans

Today, I locked myself out of my dorm room. I walked across campus, shoe-less and in nothing but my bathrobe, to find someone who could let me back in. Turns out I hadn't even shut the door properly and so it never actually locked. I can still hear the guy laughing at me. FML

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Disinformation

zzyx - 22/09/2009 03:19 - United States

Today, there was a fire alarm in my dorm. Just as I was leaving my room, a lady in the hallway told me that it was a drill and they'd be inspecting rooms, so I would need to leave my door unlocked. When I came back, my room was trashed and my laptop, speakers, and jewelry were gone. FML

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One thing after the other

Anonymous - 16/09/2025 00:00

Today, someone did a hit and run on my car hard enough to knock it onto the curb from its parking spot, destroying the bumper. They didn't leave any info behind. After taking care of police reports and such, I got home and took off my shoes just to step in a puddle of my roommate's horrible cat's diarrhea. FML

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Zahkrii - 26/12/2018 16:00

Today, while returning from a class, I stopped to use the bathroom. While in said bathroom, someone threw a chip bag filled with piss water into the stall I was using. FML

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cl512 - 18/09/2009 13:33 - United States

Today, I walked out of my college dorm to see that the intelligent person who locked their bike next to mine decided as an added security they would lock their bike to the rack, and to my bike. FML

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Make yourselves at home

unlucky neighbors - - China - Shanghai

Today, I was staying at a seedy apartment. A group of drunken idiots next door decided it would be fun to run into the wall simultaneously. They broke through the rotted wall and ran me over. FML

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Lindso1 - 06/07/2018 01:30

Today, I came home to find my home had been broken into. Nothing was taken, but all the drains were plugged and the water left blasting on high, with a note that said “enjoy the mess”. FML

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Notthekeytosuccess - 12/04/2017 00:00

Today, I broke my key unlocking my dorm room. When I pushed the door open in frustration, the door opened with no problem. Turns out it was unlocked. FML

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sociallyanxiousroomie - 19/04/2016 10:22 - Canada - Toronto

Today, my roommates had a party while I stayed in my room, and that was fine by me. What was not fine was when a stranger broke into my room, asked to lay next to me, and then just went ahead and did it. FML

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issy - 21/09/2009 05:31 - United States

Today, while taking a shower in the dorm bathroom, my roommate thought it would be funny to steal my towel, robe, and key. I spent over an hour waiting for someone to come into the bathroom so I could ask them to bring me something to cover up. FML

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19990231 29

Tuesday 6 January 2015 18:29

Buying a new welcome mat is easier than replacing everything they would have stolen.

Vahex 19

Tuesday 6 January 2015 18:27

Were they drunk?

dawood_k 27

Tuesday 6 January 2015 18:43

It's now a pissoff mat

The_Avatar 22

Tuesday 6 January 2015 18:43

Now you can rest easy knowing your door is secure! Its been tested!

kingkobrastrikes 13

Tuesday 6 January 2015 18:56

At least they DENT get in... RAM I right?... no?.... ok

LPisLame 16

Wednesday 7 January 2015 6:14

I see what you did there.

tranced_ 45

Tuesday 6 January 2015 19:04

How could be so specific about the shoulder? *dundundunnn*

YepThatsMeee 23

Wednesday 7 January 2015 6:48

I think OP has a very vivid imagination.

patrickalamo 47

Tuesday 6 January 2015 19:09

Let's hope he broke a shoulder and peed himself in pain...

Blippety 23

Tuesday 6 January 2015 19:23

Hey, at least now you know your door is fairly secure - sounds like a win to me.

Jdlove2 20

Tuesday 6 January 2015 19:27

Guess you could say they were pissed...

yeti37 16

Tuesday 6 January 2015 19:29

[insert the least creative "I'd be pissed" pun here]

NicholausB 15

Tuesday 6 January 2015 19:31

Drunk?

Sterling_1s 8

Tuesday 6 January 2015 19:37

Well I guess that should've "PISSED" you off.

G00N3R 19

Tuesday 6 January 2015 20:17

The puns are strong in this one

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, I found out that my brother buys audiobooks only to play them on "mute" so that he can tell everyone that he read them later and flaunt the proof. The rest of my family think he is a genius for reading War and Peace in two days and won't listen to me. FML

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Today, my boyfriend got a text from a "close female friend." The text was of her with no shirt on, and he quickly closed his phone. His explanation was that his female friends just want his opinion on how they look. I don't know what's worse, that there are several, or that he thinks I'm that stupid. FML

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Today, it was my first day at a new workplace. During introductions, I nervously tripped over my words and introduced myself as "Fork." My real name is Frank. My coworkers thought it was too funny to correct. Looks like I’m stuck with "Fork" for the foreseeable future. FML

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Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. Apparently, he spoke with my mom and the fact that she wants me dead is a huge red flag. FML

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Today, I had to go get my fiancé's car so it wouldn't get impounded after he was arrested at 12 a.m. and charged with a felony. I just got out of prison in March, and we get married next week. FML

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Today, I clogged my girlfriend's toilet, so being a gentleman, I tried to rectify the situation. I plunged the holy fuck out of that damned toilet, only for her to accuse me of jacking off because I was taking so long. When she stormed in and the smell hit her, she called me a pig. I just can't win. FML

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