Bananarama By wtfisthisworldcomingto - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff Today, I was mugged. The guy mugging me was eating a banana. FML I agree, your life sucks 37 882 You deserved it 7 510 Share Tweet Share
Today, I'm on a medication that really dehydrates my skin. I thought split lips were the worst side effects. Other split orifices make a trip to the toilet a literal pain in the arse. No sign of stopping in the near future. FML I agree, your life sucks 27 686 You deserved it 2 433
Today, I thought it was yesterday, I went to school for nothing. FML I agree, your life sucks 33 461 You deserved it 75 162
Today, it was my girlfriend's birthday, so I decided to take her to a fancy restaurant and give her an expensive $400 necklace that I had bought. Being traditional, I asked the waiter to arrange it nicely on the tray when he came with our dessert. Neither he nor the necklace ever showed up. FML I agree, your life sucks 44 976 You deserved it 9 429
Today, I watched my boyfriend flirt with a cashier and write down his number for her, through the liquor store window, while I sat in the car waiting for him to finish buying things for our "romantic movie night." FML I agree, your life sucks 57 440 You deserved it 5 269
Today, I found out that my grocery store's self-checkout system has been calling me “Aisle Champion” every time I scan an item. I’m not sure if I should be proud or concerned that it’s the only recognition I’ve gotten all year. FML I agree, your life sucks 310 You deserved it 106
Today, I found out that the reason why my boyfriend has been denying me sex isn't because he is scared of someone walking in on us. It's because his blow-up doll pleasures him more than I do. FML I agree, your life sucks 34 979 You deserved it 6 082
did he stab you with the banana?
That's important information. Tell the cops to search for banana breath.