Transportation, Grandparents and Miscellaneous: Badass grandma - FML

Badass grandma

By yelyah - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States - Tolono

Today, I flew to Florida with my grandma. She tried to go through airport security with a pocket knife in her backpack. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 985

You deserved it 2 267

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Same thing different taste

Bodyscan

By Anonymous - 25/05/2024 13:00 - United Kingdom - Normanton

Today, my mother-in-law had concealed in her suitcase a kitchen knife and plastic bags of MSG, salt, and other seasonings (AKA unidentified white powder) because she doesn’t trust foreign food, and wanted to cook her own food on holiday. Airport security were not amused and we missed our flight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 541

You deserved it 111

Always prepared

By emasculated 10000% - 04/05/2013 17:05 - Sweden - Ljungby

Today, I was out with my grandma when a pair of very shady guys approached us in the street, hands in their pockets. Without breaking stride, she pulled a knife out of her handbag and told them they'd better keep walking. They did. What the fuck, gran? FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 835

You deserved it 7 826

Jamaica? I hardly know her

By Anonymous - 07/10/2015 10:58 - United States - Poughkeepsie

Today, my mom and I went to catch our flight to Jamaica. She ended up being detained and questioned, because she packed hairspray, shampoo, drinks, basically half the shit you're not allowed to have in your luggage. We missed our flight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 360

You deserved it 2 473

By thebickster - 06/03/2009 17:58 - United States

Today, I was boarding my flight when I got pulled aside for looking suspicious. As she was opening my bag, I said, "Be careful, I jammed so many clothes in there it may explode." I was then strip searched for my trouble. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 578

You deserved it 49 792

Enjoy yourself, I guess

By Anonymous - 15/02/2017 01:00 - Spain - Las Palmas

Today, I went with my girlfriend to the airport for some much needed vacation time. We arrived on time but were stopped at the gate when they told me I didn't have the right passport. The plane left without me. My girlfriend did too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 645

You deserved it 1 307

By Ya - 10/05/2009 14:18 - United States

Today, I missed my flight because I was stopped by airport security. They found "small, suspicious, spherical objects" in my purse on the X-ray. After pulling me out of line, taking my purse aside and carefully opening it with tongs, they removed the bag of grapes I had packed as a snack. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 288

You deserved it 11 631

By Need Clothes Now - 21/09/2014 15:51 - United States - Pendleton

Today, I flew across country to college. My luggage did not. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 713

You deserved it 3 363

By Brooklyn - 05/11/2012 22:11 - United States - Newport

Today, I enjoyed a lovely family dinner, but my irritating grandma kept trying to buy my purse off me, and kept picking it up to look at it. When I got home I realized all my cash and cigarettes were gone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 658

You deserved it 3 289

By tampondealer - 09/11/2009 18:42 - Canada

Today, after visiting my mom, she stuffed a bunch of pads in my backpack so I'd have some at my dorm. When I was going through security, I was stopped and ended up missing my flight. Apparently the jumbo pads my mom sent look exactly like packs of cocaine when they go through the X-ray machine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 149

You deserved it 2 799

Thanks, son

By sucksforme. - 10/05/2009 05:05 - Canada

Today, I was supposed to catch a 4:40 flight to New York. My 5 year-old son handed me my carry on bag as I left the house. Turns out he had put his older brother's BB gun into my bag to "keep me safe." I missed my flight after I was detained and strip-searched. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 378

You deserved it 6 382

Next

Top comments

Doortje 29

Thursday 29 March 2012 22:32

Grams is protective of her grandchild :)

idontknowyou123 0

Thursday 29 March 2012 22:37

Bingo gets crazy somtimes... you never know if the bitch next to you will shout bingo or shank you...

Comments

missamerica95 0

Thursday 29 March 2012 22:38

Almost anything you go through security with is a "threat" these days. She probably didn't even know/remember it was in her bag.

guskaufman62 1

Thursday 29 March 2012 22:40

Granny will cut to ass up

koreyketchum 1

Thursday 29 March 2012 22:40

Your grandmother is a BAWS

sinking_fish 12

Friday 30 March 2012 3:58

B.A.W.S.? Like...Bad Ass With Shank?

Ifrah 0

Thursday 29 March 2012 22:40

Hahaha I wonder what her FML would be :P

Spectre529 12

Thursday 29 March 2012 22:43

Why was there a pocket knife in the first place?

ladyLALAA 28

Thursday 29 March 2012 22:45

Yeah I had a pencil case with scissors and a protractor and the let me take them on. I ended up throwing them out before getting on I was so paranoid!

Calyx_fml 21

Thursday 29 March 2012 22:46

She had to distract security from finding the kilo of coke she hid in her bra.

Ifrah 0

Thursday 29 March 2012 22:48

Dude, seriously. Pervert on a granny too?

1crabbygirl 10

Friday 30 March 2012 12:41

I hope somebody still likes me when I'm a granny!

TheFirstSamurai 18

Thursday 29 March 2012 22:46

You were only meant to find this out after your Grandma died, but I guess the secrets out. Your Grandmother's really the Leader of the Criminal Underworld that spans the whole Florida and you're next in line to inherit her criminal empire.

funnynarwals 0

Thursday 29 March 2012 22:47

I got held up once at an airport for scissors they got taken away and thrown away... They were my favorite:(

spurlock62 0

Thursday 29 March 2012 22:49

A pocket knife to your grandma is your phone to you.

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Today, I found out my mother had remarried, and that I was getting a stepfather and stepbrother. However, I found out about it 30 minutes before we left to pick them up from the airport, and also found out that I'm losing my bedroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 611

You deserved it 3 016

Today, as I was leaving for work, I discovered my neighbor had just passed away. I found out when I came across his body lying in my front yard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 472

You deserved it 2 169

Move it, buddy!

I agree, your life sucks 289

You deserved it 73

Today, I woke up to my boyfriend shrieking at the top of his lungs. I ran into the dining room where he was, to find him standing on the table screaming "Kill it!" while pointing at an unmoving spider the size of a Tic Tac on the wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 799

You deserved it 6 860

Today, I got married. My booze-hound mother made a toast, and told a story about how she once walked in on us having sex. My husband's family is very religious, and we told them we weren't having sex until marriage. Thanks mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 329

You deserved it 11 326

Today, I unknowingly left a five minute-long voicemail on my boss’s phone, at 3 a.m., while out drinking with friends. I have no idea what we were talking about at that time, but I know I don’t want my boss to have a candid recording of it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 539

You deserved it 547