Miscellaneous: Back to reality

Back to reality

By Herbiee - 18/08/2010 12:01 - United Kingdom

Today, I shaved off the beard I had been forced to grow over the past 3 weeks due to forgetting my razor when away. Fifteen minutes in, with half my beard gone, I realised I had got a tan everywhere but my beard. I now have a large white patch on my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 495

You deserved it 13 108

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Mr Beard

By Anonymous - 06/07/2011 16:59 - United States

Today, I shaved my beard off. Turns out the skin under my beard is six shades lighter than the rest of my face. I look completely ridiculous. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 323

You deserved it 14 184

By Anonymous - 11/12/2009 21:58 - United Kingdom

Today, I was shaving my underarms, when I heard a noise. I quickly turned my head to see what it was and got the razor caught in my hair. I'm now sporting a very attractive bald patch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 874

You deserved it 8 417

By ripo95 - 26/11/2008 06:18 - France

Today, I put my hand up in class. I forgot that I hadn't shaved. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 795

You deserved it 46 562

By boreed - 27/12/2010 05:37 - United States

Today, I finally got an unsightly mole on my face removed. While I was shaving. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 039

You deserved it 4 391

Can't face it

By bearded lady - 08/06/2020 14:03

Today, thanks to all my medications, I've been growing thick, dark hair on my face. I decided to use hair removal cream instead of shaving. The cream removed every trace of hair, but also made my skin about 4 times lighter than the rest of my face. It's even more noticeable than the beard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 485

You deserved it 254

By nomorebeard - 25/03/2009 14:13 - United States

Today, I was shaving off my beard for the first time in a very long time. I decided to have a little fun with it, and shaved my beard first into a goatee, then a handle-bar, then, finally, into a Hitler mustache. My electric razor dies. I don't have a normal one or an extra battery. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 199

You deserved it 87 557

Itchy and scratchy

By Anonymous - 27/07/2021 00:01

Today, it turned out the razor I used for manscaping wasn't as new and sharp as I'd thought. My entire crotch is now overcome with an unfathomable amount of razor burn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 742

You deserved it 372

By RyanM - 10/03/2010 15:00 - France

Today, I found out what people really think about the beard I've been proudly growing for over a month. It appears that my face now looks like an unshaven ballsack. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 904

You deserved it 27 506

It's lit

By Anonymous - 07/02/2022 00:01

Today, after spending 2 years growing out my hair, rubbing in oils to make it strong and healthy so I could shave it off and donate to a cancer charity to make wigs, I had a mishap at work with a car's cracked petrol tank. I now have 2nd degree facial burns and like 90% of the hair is burned away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 512

You deserved it 136

By Anonymous - 08/02/2010 06:58 - United States

Today, my boyfriend, who hasn't shaved in a month, went to go shave. I was pretty excited since his beard was starting to make my face itch whenever we kissed. When he came out of the bathroom he had a handlebar mustache. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 772

You deserved it 8 998

Laurendorcus 0

Wednesday 18 August 2010 18:58

Why didnt you just buy a disposable razor while you were away? Laziness/cheapness YDI

Shopaholic69137 0

Wednesday 18 August 2010 19:08

It didn't occur to you that you could just buy a new one while away? and they say Americans are dumb.

Comments

khinluv 0

Thursday 19 August 2010 0:48

put sunless tanning lotion on the whit part lol

katee6 0

Thursday 19 August 2010 0:51

That sounds insanely attractive babe

chantelfurtado 0

Thursday 19 August 2010 1:01

#6 is rite

hellokeroppi 5

Thursday 19 August 2010 1:51

self tanner

MissMacy3 0

Thursday 19 August 2010 2:55

Hahaha! Funny. But where the heck were you where you couldn't buy a razor?

LulzNoobSauce 0

Thursday 19 August 2010 3:16

Get a fake tan to cover it up. Oh wait, apparently you can't if you couldn't afford a razor for a month. >__>

krazzybeautiful 0

Thursday 19 August 2010 4:36

Buy some self tanner & turn the white spots to orange. At least then u can tell people that u wanted to try being half oompa loompa :o)

hotty6789 0

Thursday 19 August 2010 5:28

y is tht a fml

yourdogwilloveit 0

Thursday 19 August 2010 5:41

I bet you look like a reverse Fred Flintstone

still_thinking 0

Thursday 19 August 2010 5:49

lmfao...lmfao

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

Today, I told my girlfriend I needed someone to talk to because I just found out my aunt has cancer. She told me to talk to her in an hour, Spongebob was on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 64 133

You deserved it 5 526

Today, I started my cure from my opioid addiction. My whole body is so sore, I'm lying in bed and I'm still hurting to the point that I cried half the day, and nothing will make me feel any better. FML

I agree, your life sucks 534

You deserved it 214

Today, I watched my boyfriend feed his cat and change his profile on both Myspace and Facebook before saying to me that he was, "too busy to have sex." FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 913

You deserved it 5 698

Today, I was walking my Aunt's dog to the park and I grabbed a few doggy bags to pick up the poop. As it turns out the bag had a small unoticable hole in it, that grew bigger as I fit my hand through it. I ended up using my hand to pick up the poop and didnt realize it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 186

You deserved it 12 745

Today, I was peeing in a public bathroom when a guy walked in and passed by 4 open urinals to use the one next to mine. After feeling his gaze for a second, I confronted him with my own, in hopes he would stop. Instead, I stared into a stranger's eyes until I finished peeing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 740

You deserved it 2 685

Today, I had a rubber band around my wrist for too long, and it ended up leaving faint red marks around my wrist. My mom saw them, thought they were scars, and is now convinced I'm a cutter, "like the ones I've seen on the news," and won't believe my story. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 627

You deserved it 246