Miscellaneous: Asshats

Asshats

By anon - 09/12/2025 18:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I was walking in the park when I heard some boys shouting behind me. As I turned around they poured a bucket of red liquid over my head. They thought I was someone they knew. I wasn't. And I was wearing a $200 white dress. Red dye doesn't come out of white dresses. FML

I agree, your life sucks 84 185

You deserved it 4 937

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Stained

By One pissed girlie - 19/01/2025 22:00 - Ireland - Dublin

Today, I went to a party wearing a cute new pale blue dress. As I was walking through the crowd, I felt something cold and wet on my back. Someone had spilled a drink on me, but instead of saying anything, whoever did it pretended nothing happened. I spent the rest of the night with a giant dark blue wet stain on my back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 454

You deserved it 98

By Iwtumn - 17/03/2015 16:52 - Austria

Today, I came home from a crazy costume party and took a hot shower. When I opened my eyes and saw the water running from my head was bloody, I freaked out and called my friend for help. She had to remind me that for the party, I'd coloured my hair red with washable hair dye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 676

You deserved it 17 316

Kinda brought it onto yourself

By Anonymous - 19/10/2024 15:00 - United States

Today, despite my warnings, my only son married a girl I hate. To protest their marriage, I wore a white dress to the wedding. Her maid of honor "tripped" and spilled red wine all over me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46

You deserved it 2 275

By Mary - 13/01/2013 15:49 - Czech Republic

Today, I decided to go to a UV-light party dressed all in white. Before leaving, my little brother dumped a glass of tomato juice over my head saying, "Now you look just like a used tampon!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 425

You deserved it 5 267

By Anonymous - 26/12/2018 06:00 - Australia

Today, as I walked out of a club, I slipped in my new shoes and spilled my chicken, chips and gravy on my brand new white dress. Not only did people see me do this, but my dress is ruined. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 003

You deserved it 755

Simply red

By Anonymous - 07/03/2023 22:00 - United Kingdom - Bradford

Today, I tried to dye my hair blonde using a DIY kit I found online. As I was washing out the dye, I realized my hair had turned bright orange. I had to wear a hat all day to avoid being seen in public with a Johnny Rotten fright-wig. FML

I agree, your life sucks 273

You deserved it 779

Hairstyle lifehack

By Anonymous - 07/07/2023 12:00 - United States - Albany

Today, I tried dyeing my hair at home to save some money. I carefully followed the instructions but when I rinsed it off, my hair turned a shocking shade of shiity neon green. Not wanting to leave the house looking like a radioactive toad, I wore a hat and hoped nobody would notice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 641

You deserved it 385

Strange stranger

By MandyPanda - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I went to a theme party where everyone wore white shirts and brought markers to draw on them. I didn't know many people there but I still went around drawing on people's shirts. After a few hours, someone finally drew on my shirt. They wrote "I'm scary." FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 287

You deserved it 9 275

Toasted

By Anonymous - 29/06/2021 16:00 - United States - Rockaway Park

Today, I gave a toast at my friend's wedding. When I said, "Everybody raise your glasses," an industrial fan went off and blew my dress over my head. Now, people won't stop talking about how my "blue granny panties" didn't match my dress. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 006

You deserved it 200

By weddingcrashed - 19/09/2009 21:04 - United States

Today, it is my wedding day. I couldn't find my very expensive wedding dress anywhere. After almost 2 hours of panic and chaos, I found it in my pool, covered in red paint, with a note on one of my lounge chairs reading, "Today is MY wedding day, bitch." FML

I agree, your life sucks 79 632

You deserved it 4 330

nato2101 0

Tuesday 21 April 2009 16:05

Sue for damages, if the blokes had any decency they would have offer to pay for a new one anyway.

TWlCH 0

Tuesday 21 April 2009 16:12

On a side note who walkes around with a thing of red liquid just incase you see someone you know?

Comments

TehLazyBoy 0

Sunday 24 April 2011 4:15

What happen, happened. Everything happens for a reason.

LunarMage 2

Wednesday 27 April 2011 0:57

Shrink it and you can have a new little red dress instead.

Ellie13579 1

Monday 9 May 2011 21:24

So now you have a $200 red dress

1molinamatt 5

Friday 27 May 2011 22:09

Red dresses are hot! But that sucks :/ fyl

Lennes 12

Friday 10 June 2011 4:47

Dye it all red. But that does suck.

123RPG 0

Sunday 19 June 2011 18:57

Hey look at the bright side could have been pigs blood

cheesepie08 0

Saturday 25 June 2011 15:46

next time don't spend that much money on a dress.

lalieta29 0

Thursday 30 June 2011 5:52

:O that sucks!

Horned_Frog_82 0

Tuesday 5 July 2011 5:59

Red Dye: 1 White Dress: 0

Friaza 29

Thursday 28 July 2011 1:05

Capture the culprits and make them drink the red dye! (No really, don't.)

maddy23a 5

Sunday 21 August 2011 2:59

Umm , red dress ? Jk , but really , fyl

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The Top

Today, I broke up with my girlfriend. After breaking the news to my parents, I heard my dad mutter when I left, "Damn it, I liked her better than him." My mother didn't protest. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 703

You deserved it 13 214

Today, I found out that Yale had actually accepted me 17 years ago. My mother apparently burned my acceptance package and letters because she didn't want me to upstage her UChicago degree. FML

I agree, your life sucks 113 106

You deserved it 4 959

Today, on the train, I was sitting next to a homeless man. As we left the train he shook my hand and was seemingly on his way. That was until he caught me greeting my boyfriend, to which he decided to tell the romantic story of how he murdered a man for "getting too close to his woman." FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 897

You deserved it 3 145

Today, alone on Valentine's day, I decided to eat chocolate and watch romantic comedies in bed. I had an allergic reaction to the chocolate which sent me to the ER. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 350

You deserved it 3 742

Today, my mother told her friends that I work as a call girl. I'm a call center agent. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 356

You deserved it 3 250

Today, I was in the cafeteria when I noticed a new worker cleaning a table. As I passed her, she looked up and smiled at me. Thinking she was pulling a funny face, I jokingly crossed my eyes and smiled back. She looked hurt and continued working. Later, she served me my lunch. She was actually cross-eyed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 321

You deserved it 74 550