Sex, Romantic Intimacy And if a double-decker bus…

And if a double-decker bus…

legwarmer - 31/12/2010 19:21 - United States

Today, while lying in bed with my fiancé, we were talking about how we'd rather die, if given a choice. I said, "I want to die in my sleep next to you." His response? "It'd be sexier if you were on top of me with your face between my legs." Cute, honey. FML

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Chinese New Year: Dragons and Laughter
Celebrate with stories where tradition and humor meet for a colorful Chinese New Year. …

Anonymous - 21/12/2009 08:29 - United States

Today, while my boyfriend was sleeping, I got naked and sat on top of him. He woke up and I asked him if he would rather stay awake or go back to sleep, in hopes that he would stay awake and want to do some naughty stuff with me. His response? To grab my butt, and then go back to sleep. FML

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Anonymous - 18/04/2011 03:12 - United States

Today, I was finally having sex with the man of my dreams, and then he fell asleep on top of me. FML

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Love is…

Anonymous - 29/07/2012 04:25 - Denmark - Frederiksberg

Today, while getting ready to go to bed, I told my boyfriend that I feel depressed due to the lack of intimacy in our relationship. His response was to roll over, fall asleep, and send a deadly fart my way. FML

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WasntWorthIt - 30/07/2014 17:04 - United States - Concord

Today, my husband thought it would be romantic to pick me up and fall on the bed with me while we were kissing. Our faces smashed together as we hit the bed, and my tongue is still bleeding on and off. FML

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fml - 12/08/2011 06:14 - Canada

Today, I was lying in bed with my boyfriend, telling him how much I loved him. His answer? "Less lovin' more humpin'." This happens every single time. FML

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fmmmmlll - 12/06/2012 05:29 - United States

Today, my boyfriend brought up the time he said he'd love me until the day he died. He continued by saying, "So, let's just pretend I died today." FML

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Dirty talk

CorpseBride - 07/02/2017 04:00 - New Zealand - Auckland

Today, my boyfriend asked me to talk dirty in bed for him, but my brain went blank and I panicked. I couldn't think of what to say, so I suddenly blurted out, "Do whatever you want with my body. Treat it like a corpse." He laughed and I died a little inside. FML

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Anonymous - 01/04/2011 04:32 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were lying in bed together, and I was in a snuggly mood. I rolled over to gaze lovingly into his eyes and whisper sweet nothings to him in the darkness. His response? "Dear God! Did somebody fart in your mouth?!" FML

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Don't you want me baby?

Ugh - 05/12/2024 21:00 - Romania

Today, I was dead tired and just wanted sleep, so I jumped into bed the second the day's chores were done. Of fucking course, this was the day my fiancée decided to end our eight-week dry spell and came in wearing sexy lingerie. I couldn't stay hard due to exhaustion, and now she's been crying. FML

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bruised - 11/04/2016 07:26 - United States - Novi

Today, I lay in bed reflecting on my fiancé's complaint about my lack of displays of affection. I felt terrible, so I rolled over and hugged him in his sleep. He's a fully trained martial artist and his immediate reaction was to try to snap my neck. FML

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rasta_pasta 4

Saturday 1 January 2011 1:23

You're both creepy and weird, deal with it.

guppy40000 0

Friday 31 December 2010 23:28

it wouldnt be so cute when your jaw closed and locked. chomp chomp chomp

xxsarsoura 0

Saturday 1 January 2011 10:21

hes a keeper

Luv_Meh_Beeotch 0

Saturday 1 January 2011 12:32

LaWLz ThtZ HoW i WaNNa DiE ! ! MmmMhM ThTZ SXY Nd yuMMy!!

Cass3m0 0

Saturday 1 January 2011 14:41

Your comment made me lose IQ points. o.e

GreeenEggsAndHam 7

Saturday 1 January 2011 16:28

lol i know, makes u look so cheap

mzeemzima 0

Saturday 1 January 2011 13:33

why were you talking about death with your fiancé anyways haven't you heard of sex no wonder he said I'd be bored too

pedroiaman15 0

Sunday 2 January 2011 0:04

At least he would have fun dying! (:

ninjapwn 0

Sunday 2 January 2011 2:05

i agree wiith 47 no sane person wants to talk bout his/her death. plus we (boys) dont wanna discuss most things girls think of (i.e. shoes cloths make up etc)

doof_fisch 2

Sunday 2 January 2011 4:39

What better way to die than by being deep SIXTy-nined by your love.

blondeandhot 0

Sunday 2 January 2011 7:45

But then you couldn't finish...

zaadam2 5

Sunday 2 January 2011 8:04

With a comment like that, it wouldn't surprise me a bit if your fiance tried to get a "happy ending" even after you died. Jokes are fun and all but that was a bit out-of-place there.