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    : 320



    O hai. - 30/10/2017 21:23

    Today, I found out I can screenshare a video on to a Samsung TV from my phone, if one is on. Sadly, I found this out while watching porn. While my parents may or may not have been watching said TV.
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    "Stella5127" - 30/10/2017 21:15

    Today, exactly 5 days before my wedding day and exactly two weeks early, I can feel the deliberating cramps of a soon to arrive period. FML.
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    batty - 30/10/2017 20:39

    Today, I got my wig to complete my costume for Halloween. I did my makeup and put on my costume and wig, then sent a pic to my husband. His response? “When did Stevie Nicks get so fat.” FML
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    Astrociously - 30/10/2017 13:47 - United States - Carbondale

    Today I befriended an old teacher on Facebook. I then decided to message a friend to come "get high" with me, using Facebook. That was until I realized I had sent the message to my old teacher. All I could think to do was unfriend them. FML
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    "Raven Ruiz" - 30/10/2017 11:24 - United States - Las Vegas

    Today, I learned my estranged biological mother is extremely racist. My boyfriend who is black also learned this when she tried to disown me. FML
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    "Ohholypuff" - 30/10/2017 18:12 - United Kingdom

    Today, my boyfriend threw a pair of frilly underwear at me saying "you left these here", they aren't mine...FML.
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    Ash - 30/10/2017 11:54 - United States - La Crosse

    Today I accidentally sent my roommate the link to a pregnancy test I meant to sent my boyfriend. FML
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    - 30/10/2017 16:14

    Today, during a night flight I asked my captain in the cockpit: "What's that huge orange thing glowing over the ocean?" He glanced out of my cockpit window for less than 2 seconds, looked on his instruments again and told me: "The rising moon." FML.
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    Chris the painter - 30/10/2017 14:09

    Today I went to finish my paper mache head for Halloween, and knocked a whole glass of PVA glue solution all over my living room carpet. FML!
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    "Michaela R" - 30/10/2017 13:18

    Today, my brother asked for the $8 I owe him. I told him I misplaced my wallet but would pay him when I found it.y dad offered to give him the money and pulled out a 10.my brother refused to take it because it was 2 more dollars than he needed. FML.
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    - 30/10/2017 08:08

    Today, I am extremely sick with the flu and extreme period pains. To avoid catching the flu as well, my mother decided to go to her friend's house and make my stepdad of two days look after me instead. FML
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    - 30/10/2017 01:52 - United States - Cedar Rapids

    Today I signed up for the Under Armour calorie count, I was very proud of myself for making a effort. Unfortunately I came home to a buffet including an ice cream bar. FML
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    CluelessHopeful - 30/10/2017 00:53 - United States - Omaha

    I was in a relationship for 4 years and was about to purpose, she broke up with me because she couldn't handle that she had cheated on me multiple times, Turns out all my friends knew... Because some of them were also sleeping with her... FML
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    non3 - 30/10/2017 04:30

    Today, I found out why my locker smells like raisins. A bag of grapes that my partner left there melted, ruining my chemistry notebook. FML.
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    fmeright - 30/10/2017 01:17

    Today, I told my dad to fuck off after he agreed that I would never get a girlfriend. In response he took my Nintendo Switch, that I paid for. FML
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    overlooked - 29/10/2017 23:26

    I received a phone call telling me that another guy is getting the promotion I thought was mine. He quit a couple of years ago, came back, picked up on his pension where it left off (they don't even offer pension anymore) and has been promoted 3 other times since quitting. Now he'll be my boss.
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    Pubescent Teen - 29/10/2017 20:34

    Today I thought thought my pubes were "too messy" and decided to shampoo them. I have no idea what was in the shampoo, but when I got out, everything that touched my knob and bollocks felt icy cold. This lasted all day. FML
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    "Jack_the_magnificent " - 29/10/2017 17:36

    I found out my sister has more views on her channel with ONE video than my channel which has 200 videos i spent hours on each. What video gained her so much revenue? Her farting when she was 2.
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    Anonymous - 29/10/2017 09:44 - United States

    My daughter threw up while eating her food, I offered her some of mine. After getting up getting her a spoon and bowl to share, she sneezed in my bowl..... way to go kid.
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    Anonymous - 29/10/2017 12:11

    Today, I am currently going commando under my business suit because last night I argued with my boyfriend and this morning he stole all my underwear from my drawers, the sexy ones I keep for special occasions, the emergency ones I keep in my handbag and even all the ones from the laundry. FML
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    SociallyAwkward - 29/10/2017 09:42 - Ireland

    Today I lifted my 2yr old niece out of her carseat and I managed to lightly bang her shin off the side of the carseat which led to "Ouch" followed by "my uncle hurts me". Let's hear that one in public. FML
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    Damaris - 29/10/2017 09:18

    Today, I didn't have the heart to tell my husband I wouldn't be able to get a job in my degree because of his immigration status. Instead I blamed it on my nonexistent asthma. He Explained how fat I've gotten and gave me tips on how to lose weight since Its all about sacrifices I'm not making. FML
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    BadFaceorPersonality? - 29/10/2017 19:04 - Australia - Bankstown

    Today, like every weekend I sat alone by myself while pictures of my work colleagues partying together were posted on Facebook. We all started at the same time and I'm the only one not invited to these get togethers. FML
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    Tim - 29/10/2017 05:44

    Today I was told by my date that he was feeling super unstable because of his breakup and that he was going to study tonight and stay in to stabilize. He said that was the reason he couldn't stay with me at the airbnb that I booked for 200$. Guess who I found at the club later this evening......FML
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    khlonnae - 29/10/2017 00:14 - United States - Dayton

    Today, I woke up to text messages from a group chat of my boyfriend and his friend talking about my breasts. FML
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    - 29/10/2017 05:02

    Today, I decided to tell my crush that I really like him (I've like him for 2 years.) Right when I started to tell him, he handed me a note, he then walked away. The note was professing his love for my sister. FML.
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    huni? - 29/10/2017 03:30

    Today, I have been in Mexico on my honeymoon for almost a week. The food here has flared up my Crohn’s disease so my poor new husband has to sit and listen as I spend half an hour at a time painfully using the bathroom. FML
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    AnnoyedRoommate - 28/10/2017 20:32 - Canada - London

    Today, my university roommate ended up completely rerunning the dishwasher on the heaviest and hottest cycle because of a few soap specks on some dishes. They’re 20 years old and can’t handle the concept of hand rinsing dishes. Guess who pays the water bill? FML.
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    Mrs.TooNice - 29/10/2017 02:18

    Today, I allowed my friend to stay at my house because he had nowhere to go, second day in and I was kicked out of my bathroom because he said he had to go first. FML
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    "tacosaurus121314" - 29/10/2017 02:00

    my boyfriend told me he's in love with another woman. We've been dating for 7 years, living together for 4 years, and have an 8 month old son.
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    Today, the "Child Care and Development" class at my high school assigned all 50 students to carry a fake baby around school all day for a week. I can't even read a page of my notes without hearing a robotic crying noise. Today is the first day. FML
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    Today, I caught and kicked a shoplifter out of my store. The shoplifter was my mom. FML
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    Today, I'm solely responsible for my kids, entirely, while my husband goes to the gym, his office, goes running, and plays with his buddies. He wanted kids; I didn't. FML
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    Today, it's my last week working at a gas station. A fat middle-aged man threw a hissy over the price of 2-liter Coke and demanded I change it. I asked him to leave; he wouldn't, and forced me to call the cops. He stormed out as I was on the phone, pointed at me, and called me a "weak piece of shit". Three more days… FML
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    Today, I confronted my boyfriend about him and his female friend’s friendship making me uncomfortable. He responded by throwing the mother of all fits and punching a hole in the wall. He said I have to pay for the repair, because I "made him do it." FML
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    Today, I was cleaning out the cabinets under my kitchen sink and I farted with such force that my dog thought someone was knocking at the door. FML
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