Vacation

Bad timing

By Anna - 20/12/2020 05:02

Today, it's the first day of a long-needed vacation after weeks of stress and overtime. I'm having such intense period cramps, I'm bathed in sweat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 028

You deserved it 92

Not so glam now

By Fuck off - 10/08/2026 12:00 - United States

Today, I shelled out the big bucks to stay at a luxurious glamping site in the mountains for some much-needed R&R. It was great… or would have been, were it not for the party animals in the other unit. Despite being fifty yards away, I could make out every word of the shit rap they blasted for 12 hours straight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 355

You deserved it 88

Fed up, leave me alone

By Anonymous - 03/06/2025 09:00 - United Kingdom

Today, fed up with humans, I'd booked four weeks in a cottage 200 miles away from anyone I know. I’ve only been here a week when I got a knock on the door. It was my brother, his snobby wife, and three screaming kids, because he was sure I’d be lonely by now. They booked a hotel five minutes away, for two weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 665

You deserved it 118

Trip of a lifetime

By Just got friendzoned - 24/06/2025 09:00 - United States

Today, on a vacation with my best friend who I’m secretly in love with, I was dressed to the nines, and felt confident and upbeat about myself. Not once has he made a move on me the entire time, not even in the hotel room we both shared. At the end of the trip he told me I’m “such a great friend.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 142

You deserved it 710

You really shouldn't have

By ParentsSleepingOnMyCouch - 13/02/2024 09:00 - United States - Renton

Today, I was awakened by knocking on my door, only to find my parents standing there. Turns out, they booked two one-way tickets to visit me from another country. Their plan? I should scrap my upcoming 2-week vacation to hang out because they invested in this trip. Oh, and they didn't book a hotel. I'm 31. FML

I agree, your life sucks 711

You deserved it 112

Bon voyage!

By greaaaatt. - 25/07/2010 05:45 - United States

Today, I found out that I get to spend the next two weeks at my grandparents' house, which smells like cat litter, while the rest of my family takes a cruise through the Caribbean. They can't afford to take a ninth person. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 094

You deserved it 2 936

Idiocracy

By Faith - 09/02/2021 11:01

Today, I got my vacation days denied because I'm "too valuable", while the moron I work with gets his days off because he's "easy to do without." Well, I guess I won't be spending much time with my girlfriend who flew across the country to see me. Glad I'm such a valuable employee. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 357

You deserved it 128

Avoidance

By Anonymous - 25/06/2023 00:02

Today, we got back from vacation. In the lead up to our vacation, my girlfriend talked excitedly about all the sex we could have. When we got to the hotel, I heard, "I can't be comfortable, what if they hear us in the hall?" After we got home, first thing was, "I want to deep clean the bedroom, sex can wait." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 308

You deserved it 298

Best vacation ever

By anon - 16/07/2022 18:00

Today, I've been on vacation with my friend and his family for a week. Apparently, his idea of a vacation includes constant screaming arguments with his wife, while their kids sob in the living room. I tried to take the kids out once and got a lecture on boundaries, which started another huge fight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 233

You deserved it 123

Take it easy

By KittyT - 02/12/2023 00:00 - Australia

Today, on the third day of my first holiday ever, I still have food in my stomach from the first night. Yesterday I tried to walk up the beach and ended up crying in immense pain. I guess a holiday wasn't such a great idea after being diagnosed with gastroparesis a couple of weeks ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 427

You deserved it 168

I'm not a monster, I'm a human being

By Casey - 18/03/2021 11:01

Today, on vacation my wife asked if I wanted her to take my picture. I realized it was the first time in our 10 years she had asked me that question. Moments later I realized it's the first time in my life that anyone's ever asked me that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 995

You deserved it 122

Priorities

By About2bhomeless - 09/11/2021 11:01

Today, my roommate and I received a non-payment notice from our landlord, over a dishonored check that was used to pay the rent. I give my roommate money for my share and she handles the checks. Apparently, her trip to Puerto Rico was more important than paying rent. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 598

You deserved it 188

Bye bye!

By Tickettoride - 04/05/2013 10:24 - Austria - Vienna

Today, my boyfriend and I stressed out preparing for our one week holiday. We packed for the whole day, said goodbye to everyone and arrived at the airport quite exhausted after a 45-minute train ride. Turns out our flight isn't until tomorrow. The check-in lady couldn't stop laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 088

You deserved it 16 313

Club Tropicana

By Anonymous - 03/01/2024 15:00 - United States - Silver Spring

Today, I forgot to take my phone out of my bathing suit pocket before I went into the pool. It's not a high-end phone, so that's not why FML. The FML part is because I was on vacation, didn't have internet access, and the phone has no external memory card, so all the pictures I took while on vacation are lost. FML

I agree, your life sucks 290

You deserved it 537

Get into the groove

By Karen with a C - 01/08/2022 02:00

Today, my fiancé and I went on a tourism boat. There was drinks, food, and a Motown cover band. My man famously has no rhythm, but he’s out on the dance floor and all the guests are loving him. I didn’t dance, and everyone was looking at me like the wet blanket holding him back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 330

You deserved it 1 197

Get in there!

By Scared4Lf - 19/08/2016 18:10 - United States - Lamoure

Today, I was awoken by my grandparents making love, as they shook the camper in which my cousin and I were sleeping. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 991

You deserved it 1 557

For the life of him indeed

By Anonymous - 20/10/2020 08:08

Today, my significant other decided it’s safe to travel to Brazil for Christmas break, even though they are heavily impacted by Covid. He doesn't understand for the life of him why we should skip this year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 081

You deserved it 188

Libertarian dream

By Anonymous - 30/07/2021 11:01 - South Africa - Cape Town

Today, it's been 50 hours since our power outage began. The authorities don't seem to be bothered enough to fix the problem and are constantly making excuses for delays. Did I mention my warm water fish are dying from lack of heat, and it's my time off work? FML

I agree, your life sucks 909

You deserved it 100

Weaponized

By Anonymous - 17/06/2023 00:02 - Canada - Kirkland

Today, in the middle of a rough separation, my soon-to-be-ex-wife, who refuses to acknowledge it's over, told the children that I'm still going with them on that long-planned family vacation. The children are ecstatic; I however might be a bit less. FML

I agree, your life sucks 770

You deserved it 194

By Anonymous - 03/07/2019 12:00 - Australia

Today, I got an angry text, asking me why I wasn't at the staff dinner. I've been gone for the last 2 weeks, and I wasn't told about it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 614

You deserved it 117

Thanks, I hate it

By MdT - 23/05/2009 11:51 - South Africa

Today, my family returned from a holiday in Egypt. A holiday that I really wanted to spend with them. As if leaving me behind wasn't bad enough, they then made me watch a 200-picture slideshow of how much fun they had. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 918

You deserved it 3 715

Bankrolled

By Anon - 02/01/2023 12:00

Today, it's the last day of my girlfriend's "dream vacation", which I broke the bank paying for. She's spent almost the entire week laying in bed, listlessly playing Pokémon. She won't even talk to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 108

You deserved it 227

The old switcheroo

By Anonymous - 05/09/2019 06:06

Today, I was unable to go on my dream vacation because I thought I'd lost my passport. Feeling incredibly stupid, I had no choice but to watch my plane depart without me. Shortly after, my brother handed me passport, saying that since I wasn't going on my trip, I could use my refund to pay for his cat's surgery. My trip was non-refundable. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 975

You deserved it 219

Where do we go now?

By Anonymous - 10/02/2024 09:00

Today, while vacationing in Mexico, the Airbnb we were supposed to check into today for 3 weeks just called to say that due to a broken water pipe, they're unable to host us. We're supposed to check out of our current stay in an hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 488

You deserved it 123

Zapped

By Anonymous - 06/04/2016 17:48 - United States - Wittmann

Today, I'm on vacation and stupidly bought the cheapest sunblock I could find. Instead of protecting my skin, the sunblock acted as a damn lightning rod for the sun, and I now look like I just spent a few hours on a spit-roast. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 559

You deserved it 8 711

Don't back down, double down

By Anonymous - 25/05/2023 06:00 - United States - Atlanta

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me, and my heart is shattered to pieces. The worst part is we are supposed to go on vacation together in a week, and neither of us is backing out, or giving the other the room, so it looks like we’ll be staying together on vacation for 11 days straight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 716

You deserved it 270

Take the W

By are you fucking kidding - 24/10/2022 12:00 - Australia

Today, I got back from a holiday. I've been suffering from debilitating muscle spasms in my back for over a year, causing migraines and immobility. After all the physical therapy, drugs, and tests, it seems it was caused simply by my mattress. A week of sleeping in the hotel bed completely alleviated it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 955

You deserved it 174

Wildlife

By Anonymous - 13/07/2025 22:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I arrived at a campsite, got everything set up, and went for a shower. However, when I got back, a drunken rhino of a woman had crawled into my tent, been sick, then passed out on my freshly-washed bedding. She was so fat I couldn’t even roll her. I had to sleep in my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 580

You deserved it 86

Jamaica? I hardly know her

By Anonymous - 07/10/2015 10:58 - United States - Poughkeepsie

Today, my mom and I went to catch our flight to Jamaica. She ended up being detained and questioned, because she packed hairspray, shampoo, drinks, basically half the shit you're not allowed to have in your luggage. We missed our flight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 371

You deserved it 2 473

Fun times

By jfjfjdh - 10/05/2024 20:00 - United States

Today, my friend and I got back from a vacation, for which we both took time off work and coordinated. He didn’t want to do anything besides stay in the cabin and play video games. We went on a half-mile walk and that's about it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 443

You deserved it 140

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Vacation Gross Awkward Food Health Painful Television TV shows Money Bosses Work Public freakouts Cops Fight Kids Pregnancy My ex Love Confused Relatable Friends I need your advice Questions Smartphone Telephones Motherhood Intimacy NSFW Sex

The Top

Today, my mom banned me from watching The Simpsons and Family Guy because apparently, they're part of "the Devil's plan to corrupt God's children." FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 552

You deserved it 10 180

Today, my lazy manager, who blatantly spreads vicious rumors about employees, one which has ruined a marriage, has started targeting me because her lazy daughter was legally fired. Now I'm known around the office as "the whore who slept her way up the corporate ladder." FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 823

You deserved it 1 859

Random

Today, I woke up with my penis taped inside a milk bottle. Yes, I'm as baffled as you are. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 210

You deserved it 5 649

Today, my grandmother told me that since my dad was a mistake, I too am a mistake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 680

You deserved it 4 215

Today, I went on a blind date. When I got there, I found out that the guy was a ventriloquist and was going to use his puppet to talk to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 398

You deserved it 5 383

Today, I finally got to see the results of the new timesheet I made to make things simpler for both the employees and the managers. Apparently, 75% of them don't know how to read. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 497

You deserved it 211

Today, I’m 16 years-old, father to a four month-old baby, and I have no idea what the fuck I’m doing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 400

You deserved it 1 696

Today, I was attending a spa weekend that my husband got me, while he watches the kids. He'd swore he’d only call me in emergencies. So far he’s called me 18 times with questions on basic parenting like, "Where are the nappies?" and, "Can babies eat yoghurt?" Emergencies, sure. FML

I agree, your life sucks 534

You deserved it 127