My ex

Sounds lovely

By Anonymous - 09/04/2023 06:00 - United States

Today, at our kid's extracurricular, my ex, with whom I have been fighting for our child for ten years, casually admitted that his preferred murder weapon is an axe. This is surprisingly in character. FML

I agree, your life sucks 779

You deserved it 166

Sketchy

By anonymous - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - Austria

Today, I discovered that my ex-girlfriend, who I dated for 6 years, is getting engaged to my friend. The very same "friend" who's been encouraging me to break up with her for the past year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 623

You deserved it 3 203

Too soon?

By Anonymous - 02/09/2023 10:00

Today, I was on a date with a guy met on Tinder when he asked if he could kiss me, but all I was thinking about was my ex and how I miss him so much, even though it’s been a month and half. FML

I agree, your life sucks 183

You deserved it 874

No uncertain terms

By Andreww - 30/03/2025 12:00 - United States - Miami

Today, I got broken up with yet again by my on-and-off ex-girlfriend. I had ended things with an amazing girl I was seeing just to go back to my ex. She'd made it clear that if things went wrong with my ex, I wasn't allowed to pursue her again. I tried to hit her up again anyway, but she told me to “take a short walk off a pier.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 57

You deserved it 1 500

No job for you

By Anonymous - 28/03/2021 07:59

Today, I had a virtual interview for my dream job. Prepared as f**k. One of the interviewers turned out to be my ex, who I dumped for being too dumb. FML

I agree, your life sucks 983

You deserved it 539

Like a house on fire

By Anonymous - 14/01/2023 22:00

Today, my current girlfriend and my ex-girlfriend met each other. I don’t know how but they’re currently both getting on splendidly, while being mad at me like I’m the enemy of all womankind and should be castrated without delay. I want to go home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 810

You deserved it 304

Divorced dad energy

By Anonymous - 14/04/2023 16:00 - Canada - Vancouver

Today, I had to purchase an app to communicate with my ex-wife. She's too stupid to figure out how to unblock me in Hotmail so we can coordinate kid schedules. She is a control freak and regularly blocks/unblocks me depending on the time of the month. FML

I agree, your life sucks 788

You deserved it 232

Last to know

By Anonymous - 17/08/2021 10:01 - United States - Floral Park

Today, I finally found out what happened to my ex-girlfriend from my high school days, since a few years ago she suddenly stopped using social media and never returned my texts or calls to see how she was doing. Turns out she died, and no one bothered to inform me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 322

You deserved it 114

Collect the set

By Anonymous - 11/09/2022 22:30

Today, my ex-boyfriend is now dating my cousin, and he's stopped hanging out with me for her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 042

You deserved it 200

I'm the father who stepped up

By Anonymous - 31/05/2026 15:00 - United States

Today, in the aftermath of our breakup, I asked my ex-fiancee if I could still be part of her sons' lives since I've been basically a father to them for almost 12 years. She told me to fuck off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 464

You deserved it 141

Full support

By dumpedchick - 25/06/2009 02:46 - United States

Today, my boyfriend of 3 years dumped me. I was really depressed, so a couple of my friends came over to take me out to a club to cheer me up. My ex was there, partying with his friends. He came up to me and my friends, and asked my friend if she wanted to hang out sometime. She said yes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 463

You deserved it 3 660

Stop going on about it

By Msrebound - This FML is from back in 2017 but it's good stuff

Today, even my 11-year-old noticed how much my boyfriend constantly reminisces about his ex-girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 255

You deserved it 694

Selfish people

By Anonymous - 11/02/2022 13:59

Today, my ex-wife refuses to return to Canada from the Caribbean if there are any new named Covid variants. I don't care about her, but this includes my children. She really does not want to return because she is anti-vax, cannot travel, and likes the local men. So what if the kids don't get educated? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 125

You deserved it 232

Bonus dilemma

By Conflicted - 23/04/2025 12:00 - United States

Today, my girlfriend told me she got a hefty bonus at work and will pay off my credit card debt. I was gonna break up with her because I’d been working on resolving things with my ex-girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 69

You deserved it 1 007

All in the family

By Anonymous - 23/08/2022 10:00 - Canada - Moose Factory

Today, I told my ex I was going to bed after a few drinks, and she ended up fucking my brother while I was asleep. What an awakening to hear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 245

You deserved it 187

It's not me, it's you

By What dont I have - 19/02/2023 04:00

Today, my ex-boyfriend is moving to my hometown so he can be closer to his new girlfriend, my best friend. To pour lemon juice in the wound, he'd told me just 4 months earlier that he would never move to my hometown, thus ending our long-distance relationship of 2 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 014

You deserved it 146

Funny story…

By Anonymous - 25/05/2024 22:00 - United States

Today, I met my girlfriend’s parents for the first time. I wanted to break the ice, so I brought up a funny story… about my ex-girlfriend, without thinking. The room fell silent, and my girlfriend’s mom just stared at me. My girlfriend left the room in tears. FML

I agree, your life sucks 92

You deserved it 929

By badhabit - 31/05/2019 22:00

Today, I went out with my ex-girlfriend, with whom I have a good friendship with and am in fact still in love. I picked her up at her house and we had a perfect night together that ended with sex in my car. As I dropped her off, she turned to me and said, "I hope you know we're just friends." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 896

You deserved it 1 708

Recipe for disaster

By Anonymous - 27/06/2022 06:00

Today, my ex-boyfriend asked me for emotional support because his crazy new girlfriend hit him in the face over a text of mine. Fuck his life, as I was only asking for his mum's ravioli recipe, but I'm a little surprised he's already on vacation with the new girl just two weeks after our break-up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 991

You deserved it 169

Is that even legal?

By Norma - 22/05/2022 16:00

Today, it's the third time my ex has been granted a reduction in his child support payments coinciding with his gold digger getting an expensive gift. The first time it was her 4-carat engagement ring, then it was her breast and butt surgeries, and now a 3-week trip to Hawaii. I can barely afford food for our kids. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 111

You deserved it 203

Copyright control

By Booooo - 06/01/2022 23:01

Today, I found my recent ex's dating app profile. All the photos are ones that I took of him. Glad I could help you get laid, buddy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 300

You deserved it 257

Get out

By Anonymous - 16/03/2021 10:59 - South Africa - Cape Town

Today, my abusive ex-husband thought it was a good idea to buy the house next door and start living there immediately. Looks like I gotta move. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 326

You deserved it 91

Self-bodyshaming

By Anonymous - 01/10/2015 12:16 - United Kingdom - Milton Keynes

Today, I saw my ex-boyfriend walking down the street in my direction. I've put on a bunch of weight since we broke up, so I turned to look in the nearest shop window, hoping he wouldn't notice. Unfortunately he did see me, looking straight at a KFC. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 448

You deserved it 6 707

Time to move on

By Anonymous - 27/09/2023 00:02

Today, I found out my ex is getting married. She only left me 8 months ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 665

You deserved it 159

Caught in 4K

By BrutallyBlonde - 31/12/2009 00:03 - United States

Today, I went to egg my ex-boyfriend's house, after finding out he cheated on me. I covered his house and car with eggs, toilet paper, and silly string. When I went to get back in my car, my keys were locked inside, the alarm went off, and my ex walked outside, with his new girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 853

You deserved it 56 839

She definitely heard

By Anonymous - 09/09/2021 02:00

Today, I had to go to the mall for a quick errand. While there one of my friends who works at a phone booth was there and I stayed for a little bit chatting with him. While chatting, a girl passed by. She was so pretty that I blurted out, "What a woman!" out loud. Turns out it was my ex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 268

You deserved it 1 475

Get out, now

By Hélène - 01/05/2021 10:58

Today, my boyfriend invited me over for dinner for the first time. The place was full of his ex's stuff, books on the shelves, makeup in the bathroom, clothes in the closet and even shoes on the floor. Not to mention creepy plush toys staring at me. She left him 8 years ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 372

You deserved it 113

Language, Timothy

By Anonymous - 30/05/2025 22:00 - United States - New York

Today, I saw my girlfriend after 10 months of being away. She was pregnant. She actually had the brass balls to tell me I needed to "Man up and be this child's father." Get the fuck out, you cheating whore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 796

You deserved it 72

Cut them off

By Anonymous - 02/11/2024 00:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I was yelled at by my ex's best friend and ex-partner. Long story short, I cheated and no, it wasn't right and wasn't a good thing to do, but now I'm being told he has the right to remind me everyday and make sure I never forget my mistakes, and that they are supposed to make sure I never fall out of line. FML

I agree, your life sucks 158

You deserved it 799

Small world

By Anonyme - 25/11/2024 00:00 - United States

Today, I went to my local grocery store in sweatpants and slippers to pick up some hangover food, thinking I wouldn’t run into anyone I know. I ran into my ex, her new partner, and his parents… twice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 340

You deserved it 321

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Health Embarrassing Gross Poopoo peepee Love Medication Mental health Miscellaneous Friends Birthday Mysterious Weird Ghosting Haircut Money Awkward Painful My ex Sex Art Cute Surprise Work Roommate Fire Neighbours Noise Games Weddings Suspicious

The Top

Today, my brother and I took our cars to get oil changes. While we were there, a guy asked if we were dating. When we told him we were siblings, he responded with, "So?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 203

You deserved it 4 375

Today, while I was fooling around with my girlfriend, she hurt her hand. It obviously wasn't very serious, so I told her to stop faking it. She responded, "Wanna know what I actually fake? My orgasms." FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 670

You deserved it 64 646

Today, I found my favorite stuffed animal I had as a child in the trash bin. I took it out to find that it felt wet and smelt funny. Apparently, my younger brother cut a hole in the butt of it and used it to masturbate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 011

You deserved it 3 983

Today, I handed my resume in to a cafe that was hiring. I returned home and noticed a voicemail, it was one from the boss for a trial. I eagerly returned the call, showing my enthusiasm. Without thinking, I ended with "ok love you. *GASP* ah, BYE" and quickly hung up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 631

You deserved it 27 238

Today, I'm sharing an apartment in a foreign country with my soon-to-be ex. There are 6 months left on the contract, so we both decided to live here until then to save money. She earns enough to afford her own place. Me on the other hand… FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 286

You deserved it 396

Today, I decided to treat myself to a relaxing bubble bath. Mid-soak, I heard a loud crash and realized my cat had knocked over a shelf, sending shampoo bottles and bath salts tumbling into the water. Now I'm stuck cleaning up a soapy mess instead of enjoying my spa time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 427

You deserved it 175