Miscellaneous

By kittykittyrun - 18/06/2013 16:28 - Canada - Truro

Today, I cut my own bangs. I pulled too much hair to the front and ended up giving myself a mullet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 426

You deserved it 47 201

kittykittyrun tells us more.

kittykittyrun 29

Wednesday 19 June 2013 0:45

I always cut my own bangs and they always look good, this time I just tried something new and watched a YouTube video and the girls hair looked amazing, but I just wasn't paying attention to how much I pulled forward, which I usually do, and ended up cutting off more than I should have. I don't regret doing it. Hair grows back and I'm not too worried.

Avoidance issues

By ProAwkward - 18/06/2013 04:07 - United States - Grand Prairie

Today, as I was walking home, I noticed a man and a woman arguing in their driveway. To avoid an awkward situation, I crossed the street. I then had to walk past a creepy guy watering his plants in his underwear while looking directly at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 811

You deserved it 5 862

By Anonymous - 17/06/2013 17:52 - United States - Schaumburg

Today, my grandparents went around bragging to people that I'm taking my STD test. They meant to say SAT. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 306

You deserved it 3 321

By Anonymous - 17/06/2013 05:54 - United States

Today, I lost my virginity. Not only did my parents somehow find out, they posted about it on Facebook. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 373

You deserved it 11 279

Patterned

By jhughes1997 - 17/06/2013 01:39 - United States - Decatur

Today, I went fishing with my dad. I figured, since we were out on the dock, I may as well get rid of my farmer's tan. I fell asleep in the sun and woke up to a fishing net draped over me. I now have a fishnet pattern down the front of my body. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 912

You deserved it 12 510

By not a brain cell in sight - 16/06/2013 20:20 - United States - Muskegon

Today, my best friend called me a moron for disputing her belief that Canada is in South America. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 314

You deserved it 4 293

By Anonymous - 16/06/2013 16:14 - South Africa - Johannesburg

Today, my estranged father, with whom I haven't spoken in years, called me and demanded to know where his Father's Day gift was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 591

You deserved it 3 380

By loveyadad - 16/06/2013 15:46 - United States - Watertown

Today, my dad came home from a trip to Arizona and brought back special hand-picked gifts for the whole family. When he got to me, he smiled, and pulled out a free lotion from the hotel at which he was staying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 043

You deserved it 3 828

By Anonymous - 16/06/2013 06:37 - United States - Denver

Today, I had my last orchestra concert and had a large solo. My dad came to watch and record it; however, the whole time he recorded another girl, thinking it was me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 687

You deserved it 3 236

By Anonymous - 15/06/2013 21:58 - Australia - Richmond

Today, my future sister-in-law cancelled my invitation to her and my brother's wedding. Her reason was that I was incredibly rude to announce my pregnancy to my family at a time like this, because it took all the attention away from her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 782

You deserved it 5 291

By ineedbetterfriends - 15/06/2013 21:08 - Netherlands - Amersfoort

Today, I told my friend, who's a marriage counsellor, about some of the things my husband does that I hate, like snoring loudly and eating with his mouth open. I wasn't asking for advice, but she just looked me dead in the eyes and said, "Divorce." Bye-bye, faith in humanity. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 659

You deserved it 5 763

By Anonymous - 15/06/2013 17:22 - United States - Seattle

Today, at a family reunion, my visibly drunk grandparents heard about my new boyfriend, who is a cop. My gran asked if he ever made me feel like Rodney King in the bedroom. Then my grandpa, fresh off a DUI, asked if my boyfriend's dick is as bent as the police force. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 277

You deserved it 4 217

By fuckedbyahipster - 15/06/2013 16:13 - Finland

Today, I was lectured by a self-professed vegan over my "barbaric" eating habits, in between her scarfing down a tuna fish sandwich. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 753

You deserved it 2 892

By well then... - 15/06/2013 05:04 - Canada - London

Today, as I was crossing to the US, I got pulled over by border patrol for looking "suspicious". The female cop searched my purse and found a condom. She smirked and said, "I doubt you'd ever need that." FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 437

You deserved it 4 796

By Anonymous - 14/06/2013 16:24 - Cyprus - Limassol

Today, I attended my mother's funeral. My husband came too, and during the service, I kept hearing him giggling. I wrote it off as the usual awkward nerves, until he started snorting too, and I caught sight of the iPhone under his jacket. He was reading this very site. FML

I agree, your life sucks 64 623

You deserved it 4 598

By :( - 14/06/2013 04:06 - United States - Parker

Today, I was at a swim meet, swimming as hard as I'd ever swum before. During the last lap I saw no one in the lanes next to me. Thinking I was first, I became extremely excited. When I came to the wall, I realized the reason no one else was around: They already finished the race. I was last. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 334

You deserved it 7 729

By Dingbat - 13/06/2013 23:59 - United States - Quarryville

Today, I started playing softball again in a league after not playing for about 5 years. My very first time at the bat I whacked a foul ball into the parking lot and hit my own car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 288

You deserved it 6 696

By thatisfuckedup - 13/06/2013 22:12 - United Kingdom

Today, I ordered some burgers at a fast food joint. When I said, "No lettuce," the cashier looked dumbfounded and asked, "What's that?" I literally had to say, "The green stuff" before she got it. I'm losing hope. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 467

You deserved it 3 889

By Anonymous - 13/06/2013 16:01 - United States - Walker

Today, I was using a public toilet, when someone in the next stall reached under, grabbed at my low-hanging toilet paper and pulled at it at an insane speed, whispering some kind of weird chant. Then he suddenly stopped, screamed, and ran out. What the hell happened in there? FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 184

You deserved it 3 573

By sugarysofalof - 13/06/2013 04:22 - United States - Denver

Today, a bug buzzed into my ear. In response, I punched myself in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 138

You deserved it 29 322

sugarysofalof tells us more.

sugarysofalof 22

Thursday 13 June 2013 22:21

Hahahaha I was wondering why my bottom lip looked slightly fuller today...now I am reminded. This happened late last night. Somehow that response was involuntary. If that labels me with stereotypical American idiocy, so be it. I wouldn't have posted this on FML if I was looking for sympathy :)