Love

Never mix business with pleasure

LiarLiarPantsOnFire - 17/12/2022 21:00

Today, the girl I work with, who I’ve developed feelings for, started dating another guy at work. She’d told me that she “doesn’t believe” in dating coworkers and she doesn’t “shit where she eats.” FML

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He goes to a different school

Anonymous - 15/12/2022 18:00

Today, at work during lunch, a bunch of the girls were talking about their husbands and boyfriends and sex stuff. I unfortunately got involved and basically made shit up and lied my ass off because no way would they believe I’m a virgin at 37, who last had a boyfriend in high school. FML

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Tonight, on First Dates…

singleloseragain - 15/12/2022 12:00

Today, I had my first date with a cute older guy. What started as a perfect night ended in tears when we ran into my mom at the drugstore while he was buying us beer and condoms. She gave him a verbal lashing of a lifetime and told him my real age, 17. I'd told him I was 22. FML

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Pull yourself together

Worthless - 15/12/2022 09:00

Today, the guy I thought I was gonna marry left me for another woman. I want to jump off my apartment building, but I’m too much of a wimp to even do it. Now, I get to live the rest of my life wallowing in sadness, while he gives his new girl the happiness I once had. FML

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Rain check

Anonymous - 14/12/2022 21:00 - United States

Today, I was supposed to leave for Switzerland for a month, to see my boyfriend whom I haven't seen for over 6 months. Unfortunately, I broke my leg three days ago and I now I need to stay home and get surgery. FML

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Best day of your life

Cellist - 14/12/2022 15:00

Today, it's the wedding of a two friends that I introduced each other to about a year ago. I'll be enjoying it on my couch. I wasn't invited. FML

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Down the drain

Are you f*cking kidding me? - 14/12/2022 12:00

Today, I found out that my boyfriend had a side chick for the last two years of our relationship. How? He started crying after she broke up with him to try and salvage her own marriage. FML

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Woof woof

Anonymous - 14/12/2022 07:00 - Australia - Brunswick

Today, I accidentally followed and inboxed my crush from my dog’s Instagram account. FML

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Aliexpress Romeo and Juliet

Anonymous - 13/12/2022 18:00

Today, I met my girlfriend's sister and within a few hours we were in love. Seriously, personality-wise I’ve had more fun today just talking with her sister than I have for over a year dating my girlfriend, including the sex. We don’t want to cheat and hurt her sister. This sucks. FML

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Bad omen

Worriedashell - 13/12/2022 12:00

Today, my husband said he was going to get errands. According to his job’s Instagram page which I follow, he was actually at his work Christmas formal. He never invited me. That’s not all. I also found his wedding band in the bathroom sink. Very close to the drain. FML

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Alexa, play "Some Things Last a Long Time" by Daniel Johnston

kartagis - 13/12/2022 11:00 - Turkey - Mersin

Today, I’m still crying over my five-month relationship that ended two months ago. I didn't cry this much over my ex-wife. FML

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Architect

RachelMc - 12/12/2022 21:00

Today, my husband of 4 years announced that he doesn’t love me anymore and that he’s leaving me for his coworker who he met 2 months ago. I helped him find that job. It’s like I aided in the destruction of my own marriage. FML

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I'm an empath

Anonymous - 12/12/2022 08:00 - United Kingdom - Amersham

Today, my ex of three years wanted me to comfort him because his new girlfriend broke up with him as well. And what do I do? I help him, I don’t fucking know why, and now he won’t leave me alone. FML

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Apartment hunting

movingbuddy - - Australia - Sydney

Today, my boyfriend of a year asked me to move in with him. I would have been touched at this gesture, had he not asked in the form of a text message, saying, "Got kicked out. Wanna get a flat or something?" FML

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Grudge

Anonymous - 11/12/2022 03:00

Today, I got spammed and bitched at by my ex-girlfriend from high school because she found out I didn't even have feelings for her. It was 3 years ago. FML

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Clean

gag! - 10/12/2022 00:00

Today, my boyfriend complained that I "treat him like a child" by asking him if he’s brushed his teeth before we kiss. Gee maybe if he brushed regularly like a fucking adult, I wouldn’t HAVE to ask. FML

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Oh no…

Anonymous - - United States - Minneapolis

Today, in my second year at university, I took a pregnancy test. It's the only test I've passed all month. FML

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Kinda true, though

Ponce de Leon's folly - 08/12/2022 09:00 - United States - Chicago

Today, my fiancée informed me she wants us to go on a cruise for her birthday. I replied, "Ahhh cruise ships, the Walmart of the Seven Seas." She threw a mixer at my feet and told me I ruin everything. FML

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So close, yet so far

Anonymous - 08/12/2022 04:00

Today, while talking to my close female friend whose roommate I have a crush on, I learned that my crush shaves her bikini area into a heart shape. I also learned that my crush is apparently also asexual, so I have no chance with her. FML

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Love is love

Anonymous - 07/12/2022 22:00

Today, I'm a queer woman who's been in love for two years with my straight Muslim female friend. If she ever found out about my interest in her, she'd probably be disgusted. It also doesn't help that my homophobic/racist/xenophobic/islamophobic Catholic family would disown me if they found out. FML

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Anger management

Emily - 07/12/2022 18:00

Today, I was mad at my boyfriend, so I yanked the power cord for his computer while he was gaming. Turns out, that fried part of his computer and now it won't turn on. He broke up with me, even after I apologized, and offered to replace the part. FML

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Thanks Jeffree Star

whysoserious??? - 07/12/2022 12:00

Today, my girlfriend has become completely obsessed with YouTube makeup tutorials. She’s already beautiful and used to take 30 minutes tops to get ready. Now every time we leave the house, it’s some 2-hour paint session where she ends up looking like an unrecognizable fucking psychopath. FML

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Classic line

LonelyMe -

Today, my boyfriend of a year broke up with me by saying, "It's not you, it's me. I have a terrible taste in women." FML

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He's a keeper

Anonymous - 07/12/2022 00:00

Today, I met my ex, who told me he had something very important to tell me. I thought he was about to tell me that his girlfriend is pregnant (a fact I already knew). He told me that he still loves me and he'd never stopped. FML

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Truth bomb

toomuch2process - 06/12/2022 05:00 - United States

Today, I found out the truth about my and my siblings adoptions and why I have no contact with any extended family. Turns out our parents are half-siblings, who decided to adopt rather than risk any genetic anomalies. Their families didn’t approve of the relationship so they moved us far away. FML

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Love is love

Anonymous - 06/12/2022 04:00

Today, I found out that my older sister is sleeping with my adopted son. They both say it’s fine because he’s 22 and they’re not blood related, but I just can’t get over that she’s sleeping with my son, and is old enough to be his grandmother. FML

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Major red flag

notpregnant - - Italy

Today, I woke up with a pillow under my t-shirt. Turns out my boyfriend wanted to "see if I would look hot even when pregnant". We've been dating for three weeks now. FML

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Party pooper

Uninvited - 05/12/2022 18:00

Today, I found out about my husband’s work Holiday party last night. I wasn’t invited because he told me they didn’t allow plus ones. That would be more believable if my friend who works at his same company hadn’t brought his wife there. FML

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Is it a fetish or just gross?

Anonymous - 05/12/2022 10:00

Today, after finally moving in with my boyfriend of 3 years, he introduced me to his fetish. Wearing his underwear for 5 days straight, then wearing them as a hat on the weekends. FML

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Strangetown

Anonymous - 04/12/2022 23:00 - United States - Scammon

Today, I made a joke about an older girl looking sexy because she had messy hair and half makeup on and half off. My girlfriend of 3 years found it offensive and broke up with me, then later made up rumors. Now my whole high school thinks I got her pregnant. FML

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Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, my boyfriend, who doesn't wear deodorant and has horrible dandruff, decided to shower for the first time in nearly a week because he got invited out to a bar. He didn't even invite me to go with him. FML

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Today, I’m recovering from an accident. My boyfriend wanted to get it on, but I told him I couldn’t as I'd had a major spinal injury. He replied, "But you have a mouth, though stop with the excuses." FML

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Today, while I was waiting in line at McDonald's, I found out I can sneeze, pee, and poop all at the same time. FML

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Today, I discovered my girlfriend of 5 years would rather split up than make any shred of effort to revive her utterly dead libido from the last 2 years. She promised the whole past month to make an effort, before admitting she never gave a shit when my patience with her ran out. FML

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Today, I discovered that the reason the phone I've had for a year takes such terrible and cloudy pictures is because I never took the plastic coating off the lens. FML

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Today, I lost it on my co-workers about how hard I've been working, picking up everyone's slack with no appreciation, and it was clear that I needed to find a job that actually rewarded hard work. As I went to grab my jacket to leave, I saw a cake and gift card for a cruise on the table, from the staff. FML

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