App
FML for mobile
Free
Open in app
FMyLife

search

Categories

All
Random
Spicy
Nearly FMLs
The Top
FML - The Follow-Up

FML

Submit Moderate

Account

Log in
FMyLife FMyLife
Submit your FML Moderate the FMLs
Log in
All Random Spicy Random Spicy The Top FML - The Follow-Up Nearly FMLs
search
​

Submit your FML

Have you just experienced an FML moment?

Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Your instinct was right, because it’s good to laugh life off. Follow the instructions below, and if your story gets through the moderation process, it'll published in the next 24 hours or so.


    Remaining characters: 320

    Your story must start with “Today,” and end with “FML”. TXT language is forbidden and spelling mistakes hurt people’s eyeballs, so the use of either would result in the direct dismissal of your FML. Don’t use this space for discussions, advertising or spam, or for posting anything which isn’t an FML. Furthermore, it’s not possible to obtain badges by posting keywords, so stop believing things you’ve read on message boards. Don’t try reposting old FMLs, we’re not that daft.


    Please read our guidelines for posting

    Healthy Lifestyle

    Don't mind me

    By everyonewasstaring - 22/12/2009 23:32 - United Kingdom

    Today, I was shopping in a packed store when I started to feel faint. Since I was quite far along in the queue, I tried to hold out until I reached the front of the queue. Good news: I succeeded. Bad news: I then fainted at the counter, hit my nose, and shit myself. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 33 619
    You deserved it 4 364
    Share  

    Irony at a base level

    By SterlingEnigma - 25/09/2009 08:43 - United States

    Today, I decided to start making healthier decisions. Instead of the usual cheeseburger I have for lunch I ate an apple instead. I took one bite and broke one of my teeth. Apparently, apples keep the doctor away, but not dentists. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 37 368
    You deserved it 7 392
    Share  

    Sexy time

    By Anonymous - 30/07/2009 09:23 - United States

    Spicy Spicy
    Today, I tried to be sexy and put a condom on with my mouth. Instead, I inhaled it and my boyfriend broke three of my ribs giving me the Heimlich maneuver. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 25 521
    You deserved it 59 477
    Share  
    • 4
    • 5
    • 6
    • 7
    FML on Facebook

    Keywords

    Annoying Hospital Work Management Language DIY Miscellaneous Relatable Mysterious Awkward Cars Embarrassing Cooking Coworkers Love Anniversary Divorce Transportation Health Surgery Healthy Lifestyle Growing old Technology Money Ironic Animals Relationships Horses Jealousy Birds
    The Top FMyLife FMyLife
    The Top FMyLife FMyLife
    Today, at my boyfriend's brother's house, I desperately needed to poop. After finishing my business, I realized the toilet wouldn't flush. I had to pull my poop out, wrap it in TP and make an excuse to go outside to throw it in a bush. The neighbor was watching. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 46 109
    You deserved it 12 745
    Today, I was drunk at my nan's birthday party. My boyfriend texted me asking if I could go out, to which I replied "No, I'm at my nan's house." He then dumped me, calling me a "cheating whore." I was confused, until I realised I'd misspelt nan and said, "No, I'm at my man's house." FML
    I agree, your life sucks 24 950
    You deserved it 46 790
    Today, my boss replied-to-all to a memo I sent, wherein he states that "Filipino" should be spelled with a double P. He spells his nationality with a double R. He's from Morocco. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 18 549
    You deserved it 2 571
    Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. How, you may ask? He used the Adult Swim "We should see other people" commercial. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 3 623
    You deserved it 304
    Today, my daughter informed me that, in order to train the dumb out of her brother, she’s gonna slap him whenever he says or does something dumb. She’s slapped him 8 times already and unfortunately, each slap was justified. My boy is dumb as a box of rocks. Hope the slapping helps. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 598
    You deserved it 1 135
    Today, after a grueling business trip, my husband and I came home to all our furniture broken, every window smashed, all the floors scratched and carpets ripped, all our electronics stolen, and all our food and booze gone. What happened? Our son held a party and invited literally everyone he could from campus. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 1 329
    You deserved it 197
    Download on the App Store Our app is now available on Google Play

    Even more FMLs

    • Nearly FMLs
    • Top FML
    • Random FMLs
    • Moderation
    • FML - The Follow-Up

    Useful links

    • FAQ
    • Contact us
    • Terms of use
    • The list of badges to find

    FML around the world

    • Français
    • English
    • Español
    • Deutsch
    • Italiano

    © VDM SAS, All rights reserved

    ​