Embarrassing

You OK, Human?

By Anonymous - 05/01/2025 00:00 - United States

Today, I was walking my dog when I slipped on some mud and fell onto my ass. As I fell, I let go of the leash, and my dog just stood there, staring at me in what seemed like curious judgment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 382

You deserved it 127

Get it on

By RotoRooter - 17/04/2009 07:29 - United States

Today, I was about to get it on with a girl in the bathroom of my friend's house at a party. Just when things started getting heated, a pipe burst. Literally. There was water everywhere and everyone had to evacuate the building. I was cockblocked by poor plumbing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 73 604

You deserved it 12 670

Easy peasy

By KATY - 10/08/2024 03:00 - United States - Las Vegas

Today, after watching a few YouTube tutorials and thinking it looked easy, I decided to cut my own bangs. Halfway through, my scissors broke. Now I have uneven bangs and no way to fix them until I get to a salon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 137

You deserved it 452

20/20

By Anonymous - 11/10/2023 08:02 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, I rushed to urgent care after suddenly developing a dark spot in the vision of one of my eyes. Long story short, I paid $110 for the doctor to remove an eyelash. FML

I agree, your life sucks 385

You deserved it 509

Is it a plane ?

By Decker - 14/02/2010 01:04 - United States

Today, I went to a crowded Walmart with the hot new girl I'm dating. It was raining and we had to park far from the entrance. As soon as we got out of my car, she started sprinting to get out of the rain. I ran to catch up and slipped on a metal plate, and did a reverse Superman onto my ass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 087

You deserved it 5 577

Coated in embarrassment

By Kate - 26/03/2025 03:00 - Canada - Vancouver

Today, I ran to hug my mom at the airport, but when I stepped back, I realized I was hugging a total stranger who just so happened to be wearing the same coat as her usual coat. She smiled awkwardly as I backed away and said, “Sorry, I thought you were my mom.” The next level of embarrassment came when I looked up and saw my actual mom staring at me in horror from a few feet away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 209

You deserved it 437

Great first impression

By FirstImpressionist - 11/05/2022 14:00

Today, at work, where I am the boss’s son, I introduced myself to the new guy and starting working on a project. Not five minutes into it, I apparently had a seizure, passed out, smashed my face on the work table, and regained consciousness in a state of confusion with EMTs surrounding me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 999

You deserved it 144

What?

By Anonymous - 07/03/2012 18:51 - United Kingdom

Today, I went with my friends to see a movie. I handed my student card over to the cashier as proof I was old enough to see it, and he started laughing hysterically at my picture. Then he called over a colleague, who also started laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 103

You deserved it 3 024

Hello there

By My eyes were on the prize - 12/03/2017 00:00

Today, at work, the most handsome guy walked in. Starstruck, I went to greet him and then take him to the owner's office, only to promptly walk really hard into the corner of the door frame, smacking my forehead. I have a massive bruise and my boss won't stop laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 191

You deserved it 1 137

Mortified

By Anonymous - 19/05/2024 19:00 - United Kingdom

Today, at work, my vibrator rolled out of my bag so far down the table that I couldn’t catch it, and had to run round the table to grab it by leaning between two of my male coworkers. That vibrator lives under my bed, so the only way it could've got in my work bag would be my boyfriend pranking me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 576

You deserved it 199

Bored

By wideawake - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom

Today, my husband fell asleep for two hours at a dinner party. We were the hosts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 834

You deserved it 5 694

Speech! Speech!

By Olivia - 03/04/2025 15:00 - United States - Monterey

Today, I had to give a speech at my sister’s wedding. I spent weeks preparing every word. When it was finally my turn, I stood up to the microphone and froze. Instead of something like, "Congratulations, I’m so happy for you both," I mixed up whatever jokes I'd prepared in my brain, and blurted out, “I’m in love with your husband.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 178

You deserved it 491

Bodyshaming ain't it chief

By Anonymous - 18/01/2022 13:59

Today, my grandpa pointed out my slightly larger than usual belly and made fun of it, by comparing it to a kidney bag. I’ve been underweight since I was 13, and when I finally gain weight someone has to make fun of it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 310

You deserved it 129

Nap buddies

By Anonymous - 16/03/2022 16:01 - United States - Santa Barbara

Today, I found out that my father is telling people that we sometimes sleep with each other, meaning it literally. He knows the figurative meaning of that phrase, but insists that “not everyone has a dirty mind.” Thankfully, since I’m an adult he won’t get into legal trouble, but still, ewww. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 408

You deserved it 191

Scarred for life

By Mortified - 22/07/2025 22:00 - South Africa

Today, I meant to send a spicy message to my partner, but sent it to my dad due to the Whatsapp conversations being next to each other on my computer screen, and me not paying attention due to being an idiot. My dad replied, “Uh... not sure I needed that mental image.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 87

You deserved it 588

Day terrors

By Shameonme - This FML is from back in 2008 but it's good stuff - Morocco

Today, I yelled out while I was asleep. However, I was sleeping during a very important meeting with customers and my boss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 698

You deserved it 61 692

Reunited

By Anonymous - 04/07/2024 00:00 - Sweden

Today, I fell asleep on the bus taking me home after a long hard day at work. I woke up with my head on a stranger’s shoulder, drooling. The worst part? The stranger was my crush from college, who I haven’t seen in years. Turns out we have the same bus route. FML

I agree, your life sucks 446

You deserved it 141

Keep it to yourself

By Anonymous - 18/02/2014 16:31 - United States

Today, while waiting in line at a store, a toddler behind me was throwing a major meltdown while his father yelled at him, giving me a migraine. I turned to the woman behind me and said, "Can you believe this kid? I feel sorry for his mother." Turns out the woman was his mother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 123

You deserved it 46 702

By Anonymous - 05/10/2009 20:10 - United States

Today, I was on a plane with my grandma. A cute guy sat down next to her. She asked his age. He told her he was 16. She said, "Oh, that's how old my granddaughter here is." She then turned to me and said loudly, "You should switch seats with me, he's HOT!" Well, at least Grandma loves me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 262

You deserved it 6 277

Shy pooper

By privatebathroomneeded - 16/12/2014 19:26 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I needed to take a dump at school. As soon as I sat down, somebody else walked in. I'm extremely poop-shy, so I was forced to wait for several minutes while they styled their hair and applied makeup. After they left, I breathed a sigh of relief. Then someone else walked in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 954

You deserved it 8 100

Such a gentleman

By Harry123 - 01/09/2024 12:00 - United Kingdom - Swansea

Today, I was trying to be polite by holding the door for an elderly lady in a shop. What I didn’t realise was that the doors were automatic. I ended up standing there awkwardly for a good 5 seconds, holding onto thin air, while she just smiled and walked by. A bloke behind me said, “The doors don’t need your help, mate.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 147

You deserved it 398

How can I put this…?

By It's a foot long - This FML is from back in 2018 but it's good stuff

Today, I have to figure out how to tell my vision-impaired father that his ex-girlfriend left their double pronged dildo out on his dresser when she moved out. I see it when I bring him his coffee every morning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 674

You deserved it 498

If I fits, I sits

By fatlady - 07/03/2010 05:41 - United States

Today, my friend and I went to the park. I bet my friend I could fit into the swing that was sized for toddlers. I managed to fit in, but I couldn't get out. My friend had to call 911 to get me out. When they finally did, the fireman told me that fat ladies shouldn't try stuff like that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 009

You deserved it 39 440

Cheers!

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States - Fayetteville

Today, I saw some servicemen sitting outside a café, and I went over to thank them for their service. They waited till after I was done shaking their hands before they told me that they were just actors on their lunch break. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 031

You deserved it 7 539

Spill the T

By Seasonal Suck - 28/09/2022 09:30 - United States

Today, seasonal allergies are whooping my ass again. The last time this happened was… only two weeks ago. Even more unfortunately, today also marks the day I discovered that while hot tea does help soothe my poor, inflamed throat, if I drink too much of it without a break, I throw up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 929

You deserved it 215

Impressive, dude

By Anonymous - 06/02/2023 15:00

Today, I was on a first date at high-end Indian restaurant. I tried to impress my date by ordering the spiciest dish on the menu, only to find out it was way too hot for me to handle. I ruined the entire meal by coughing, choking, and drinking five gallons of water with tears streaming down my face for at least 40 minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 144

You deserved it 2 025

Balanced

By Anna - 28/04/2025 09:00 - Australia

Today, I went to the grocery store in my brand new high heels. I tried to be graceful as I walked down the aisle but ended up slipping on some spilled juice and doing a weird half-dance, half-flailing thing. The shoppers around me turned to watch as I clumsily tried to regain my balance. As if that wasn’t bad enough, I also knocked over a display of discounted snacks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 201

You deserved it 414

That one awkward guy

By Jeff - 06/09/2025 09:00 - United States - Des Moines

Today, I tried to compliment a girl at my gym by saying, “Wow, you’re really strong!” She smiled and said, “Thanks.” Then, probably to be polite, she said, “You’re really… trying.” That was her actual word choice. I went home and considered canceling my membership, but I found out that it's designed to be almost impossible to leave the gym. FML

I agree, your life sucks 317

You deserved it 180

The walls have ears

By Anonymous - 20/01/2023 12:00

Today, while I was at the doctor's looking nasty and sick, I ran into my ex. He was my first boyfriend and he cheated on me the whole time, and then left me. I went into a room with my friend while we were waiting and told her EVERYTHING about him. Turns out everyone heard me, INCLUDING HIM. Now I have to see him tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 326

You deserved it 940

Fun times

By workhoe - 20/02/2017 06:00 - United States

Today, I had sex with a coworker I've had my eye on for awhile. Immediately after, he turned on the light and got on his phone. Me, trying to start a conversation, I said, "Well, that was fun." He looked at me and said, "Was it?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 044

You deserved it 1 781

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The Top

Today, my mom tried to get me to shoplift. From the dollar store. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 817

You deserved it 2 739

Today, I realized that I text my boyfriend more than I see him. He's my next door neighbor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 482

You deserved it 38 687

Today, I woke up to find myself drenched in piss after a long night of drinking. I immediately sprang into action, tossing my bedding in the washer and hopping into the shower. Running late for work, I threw on a nice dress and got into my car. Guess who also peed in the drivers seat? FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 013

You deserved it 53 236

Today, my son took a nap quietly for the first time ever. As I went to wake him up, I realized why. A previously poop-filled diaper came flying at me when I opened the door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 321

You deserved it 567

Today, my boyfriend called me weird because I keep gloves in the glove box in my car. He's never seen that before. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 919

You deserved it 384

Today, my father-in-law decided to "fix" our bathtub and ended up flooding the bathroom. Later, in his attempt to clean things up, he walked, without permission, into my bathroom where my vibrator was right next to my hairdryer. He definitely saw it, and didn’t say anything to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 943

You deserved it 485