Dogs

Poor old Truffles

By Anonymous - 15/04/2021 00:30

Today, my mom grabbed my iPhone and threw it from the balcony, because I didn’t cry on the fifth anniversary of our family dog’s death. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 198

You deserved it 116

Mistaken identity

By thedogwalker - 09/08/2020 08:02

Today, I was out walking my dog, when a lady called out to me asking, “Is that a boy or a girl?” Assuming she meant the dog, I told her that he was a boy. When I turned away, I heard her say to her kid, “I was talking about the person walking the dog, but whatever,” then audibly laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 518

You deserved it 220

Where did you guys come from?

By Brad - 04/07/2021 21:59 - United States

Today, I woke up to find two pitbulls viciously tearing up my couch. I have never owned a dog and I live alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 094

You deserved it 91

Throw away the key

By Raged af - 17/07/2023 00:02 - United States - Miami

Today, my ex-boyfriend was granted parole, community service, and “rehabilitation” for the crime of breaking into my house, kidnapping my dog and killing her while I was at work, as retaliation for me breaking up with him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 568

You deserved it 119

Slicing up eyeballs

By Anonymous - 28/05/2022 02:00

Today, I got up at 2 a.m. to pee. Searing pain stabbed my eye as soon as I opened it. I spent the next 30 min in agony, tears, and snot pouring down my face, trying to find the eyelash in my dry eye. Instead, I pulled a 2-inch long, invisible white, crinkly hair from my dog's undercoat out of my eye. SO. MUCH. PAIN. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 140

You deserved it 187

Thoughts and prayers

By poordog - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my best friend was texting me about her sick dog. She wrote, "Do you think she will get better?", so I wrote, "I hope she does." It wasn't until later that I realized I accidentally wrote, "I hope she dies" instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 586

You deserved it 9 438

Help!

By jnp414 - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - United States - Bristol

Today, my house key jammed inside the lock, which would've been annoying even if I hadn't been desperately running from my neighbor's psycho pitbull at the time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 290

You deserved it 1 596

Doggy dog world

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2017 but it's good stuff - United States - Tucson

Today, I was playing tug of war with my dog. She let go and I ended up punching myself in the mouth. My lip is still swollen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 212

You deserved it 1 204

Pull!

By buttpicker - 19/04/2010 23:24 - United States

Today, I was walking my dog and he stopped to take a crap. While he was doing his business, I saw something white coming out of his butt that just wouldn't budge. He started whimpering and I stepped in to help him. I pulled out an entire plastic bag. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 623

You deserved it 4 603

All I want for Christmas is free healthcare

By effmylife - 25/12/2022 00:00

Today, I’ve been battling an aggressive form of cancer for the past 3 years. Due to the financial strain, I started a GoFundMe. I’m grateful for what I got, but a friend also started one for her dog’s surgery and got thousands of dollars. Guess the dog is more important than my kids having a mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 221

You deserved it 219

Do not feed the animals

By Anonymous - 14/11/2022 12:00 - Australia

Today, after months of trying to get my Pomeranian to lose weight (the vet said she needed to lose 2kg), she was finally getting close to the goal. My cleaner came while I was at work. When I got home, I weighed my dog again, and she had put on 0.5kg, due to the cleaner not following the instructions not to feed her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 978

You deserved it 195

Bad doggo

By Anonymous - 09/02/2017 22:00 - United States - Lewistown

Today, I'm sick of watching my friend's dog while she is on vacation. In four days, the dog has shredded my mattress, peed on my couches, chewed my kitchen chairs, and attacked my dog while she slept. My friend won't answer her phone, but she does update Facebook non-stop. Ten days to go. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 181

You deserved it 714

Weird, but OK

By awkward - 15/06/2021 04:01 - United States

Today, my boyfriend dumped me. He says he can’t be with someone who doesn’t love his dog as much as he does. I told him that I have absolutely no problem with the dog being in the room, but it makes me uncomfortable when the dog is on the bed while we have sex. Apparently, that’s unreasonable. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 824

You deserved it 172

Sneaky

By Anonymous - 20/06/2022 04:00

Today, I found out that while he was dog-sitting during my holiday, my little brother was pretending my house was his to prove to women he was older than 16. I found this out when I got home and checked my CCTV system. He didn’t even wash or change my bedsheets either. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 265

You deserved it 268

By DroopyDog - 27/12/2009 08:48 - Netherlands

Today, I got a puppy. I just found out I can't bring it on the family trip. To save me the trouble of finding a friend to take her in, my mum handed her back to the pound. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 996

You deserved it 3 966

Dirty boy

By Anonymous - 17/04/2026 12:00 - Mexico - Puebla City

Today, I discovered that one of my dogs has taken a liking to rolling over his own poop. I found out by petting him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 356

You deserved it 87

Or he's a drug mule?

By jlujan00 - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States - Albuquerque

Today, I cleaned up the dog poop from around the back yard. This is how I discovered that my dog's favorite snack appears to be used condoms. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 522

You deserved it 3 070

Hey you

By Anonymous - 10/09/2025 15:00 - United States

Today, I was walking my dog when I saw a cute guy jogging towards me. I tried to look cool and gave him a smile. At that exact moment, my dog stopped to poop directly on my shoe. The guy jogged past without breaking stride and muttered, “Perfect timing.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 303

You deserved it 126

Bad boy

By Dammit - 01/06/2023 00:02 - United States

Today, knowing very well that I need to be more active, I went for a walk. It quickly turned into a sprint when I was attacked and chased by a dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 766

You deserved it 118

Carpe diem

By Username - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was playing with my dog. His bouncy ball rolled under the couch, and I got on my hands and knees to get it. He decided it would be a good chance to hump the shit out of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 619

You deserved it 12 026

Good boy

By akasoor - 11/02/2013 01:51 - Canada - Hythe

Today, I went to the local pet store to purchase a large dog bed so my dog wouldn't sleep in mine. After I got home and set up her bed, I realized I forgot to buy dog treats. When I came home again, her new bed was torn to shreds, and she was still sleeping on my bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 352

You deserved it 5 974

How could you?

By Billie - 27/09/2025 22:00

Today, I walked into my apartment happy to see my dog. Instead of running to greet me, he ran straight past me to jump into the arms of my roommate, who had just walked in behind me. He wagged his tail like crazy while I stood there, rejected. FML

I agree, your life sucks 352

You deserved it 89

Varied diet

By Anonymous - 01/09/2025 12:00 - United States - Sutton

Today, and for the last six months, my mom has been feeding my Huskies human food behind my back. It's not only table scraps, it's ridiculous amounts of food. I've asked her to stop but she doesn't respect me, and I know she only does it to get on my nerves. FML

I agree, your life sucks 405

You deserved it 114

HOAs suck

By Slivered - 18/11/2009 09:50 - Canada

Today, my condo board refused to lift the new policy, which requires pet owners to carry their dogs in common areas after someone's dog kept peeing in the hall. I can't physically carry my two dogs, so I'm now forced to wheel them through the building in a borrowed baby stroller. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 146

You deserved it 3 970

What a treat

By Anonymous - 17/02/2017 22:00 - United States - Sainte Genevieve

Today, I asked if my friend wanted to come meet my dog and give him a treat. We were walking to my back yard, her holding 3 hot dogs, when she said, "I think your dog is dead!" I said, "No, he's just old and sleeps all the time and won't wake up until you pet him because he's deaf." He was dead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 700

You deserved it 668

Bad boy

By VtecKickIn - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was driving home with my girlfriend. As we turned onto our block, she shrieked that our dog was running down the street and into traffic. I jumped out of the moving car and chased him for about a mile, only to give up, go home, and find out it wasn't our dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 251

You deserved it 5 812

Dead zone

By The Corner Of Death - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States - Spring

Today, my dog died. In the same kitchen corner that two of my other dogs have died. I have a "Corner Of Death" in my kitchen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 252

You deserved it 143

Bad boy

By DogBeater - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I've just moved into a new apartment. It's also the day my big baby of a dog stepped on a rock and began yelping when I tried to touch his paw. He "suddenly" felt better after I carried him inside. Now everyone thinks I'm beating my dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 380

You deserved it 916

Baby come back

By chuchundra - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I got back from a two-week vacation. During my vacation, I had a friend from work watch my puppy. My puppy now likes him more than me, and won't stop whining sadly since he left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 012

You deserved it 8 110

By Anonymous - 13/12/2016 13:22 - United States - Wilmington

Today, I walked in on my dog slurping my coffee. I'm not sure how long we have been sharing my morning cup of joe. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 254

You deserved it 910

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The Top

Today, my girlfriend and I agreed to tell her parents that she's pregnant. When they started freaking out, instead of dealing with the situation maturely, she went into straight-up denial and said, "It's okay, I'm not the mom." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 953

You deserved it 6 698

Today, two Jehovah's Witnesses rang my doorbell for the 10th time. This time they asked me whether I knew Faith's greatest enemy. I replied, "Basic reasoning?" A copy of The Watchtower can really hurt when it hits you in the eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 741

You deserved it 10 839

Today, during a major argument with my girlfriend, I shoved a door open, which then rebounded and hit me in the face. I'm not sure which is more pathetic: that I was savaged by a door, or that I made up a story about kicking a mugger's ass to explain the huge black eye to my coworkers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 625

You deserved it 36 103

Today, I was out with my boyfriend, and I had an epileptic fit. He had never seen me have one, and it freaked him out. He rang me later to dump me, as he didn't want to go out with someone who acted like a 'spaz' in public. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 516

You deserved it 4 226

Today, my dog ate my little brother's medication. I spent all morning trying to make him throw it up, but it wasn't working so I took him to the animal hospital, which was in a different city. $150 in poison control and vet bills later, I found the pill we thought he ate stuck under his paw. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 687

You deserved it 8 211

Today, a sewer main broke just outside of where I work. It smells like a latrine here but we are not allowed to close down, and the county won't do anything about it for two weeks. The only upside is that I'm not dealing with many customers, but having to smell the entire city's feces is way worse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 518

You deserved it 101