Coworkers

Best impression

By Shells - 27/07/2025 09:00 - United States

Today, to make a good impression, I brought in homemade blueberry muffins for my newish coworkers. Everyone loved them, up until the guy with a nut allergy had to be rushed to the hospital. Turns out my almond milk wasn’t as "nut-free" as I thought. Welcome to the team! FML

I agree, your life sucks 92

You deserved it 824

I'm still hungry

By Anonymous - 24/07/2025 12:00 - Canada - Vancouver

Today, I microwaved leftovers in a container I didn’t check. The lid wasn’t microwave-safe. It melted, fused to the food, and now I have what looks like a modern art sculpture instead of lunch. My coworker walked up, looked at it, and said, “Microplastics in our food are getting out of hand.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 161

You deserved it 491

My brain hurts

By Team - 20/07/2025 12:00 - Germany

Today, I feel so tired and hungover after going to the office summer party yesterday. I had no alcohol to drink and I left at 10pm, way earlier than all my team. My team drank a lot and stayed until after 1am. They all showed up earlier and looking better than me, while I'm a trainwreck with a bad headache. FML

I agree, your life sucks 398

You deserved it 114

Bonkers

By Anonymous - 09/07/2025 12:00 - United States - Owensboro

Today, my wife had a dream that I cheated on her with a girl from my work named Marie. She told me that she wants me to quit my job and get a new one, just to avoid that from ever actually happening. There is nobody named Marie at my job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 532

You deserved it 72

Get out

By Anonymous - 03/07/2025 00:00 - United States - Arlington Heights

Today, my husband came home from work in a bad mood. Why? He found out that a certain female coworker of his isn't single anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 615

You deserved it 87

Numerophobia

By Anonymous - 26/06/2025 12:00 - Switzerland - Bern

Today, my coworkers quietly ditched the project I spent months working on, because typing in numbers into a website "is too hard." Our boss is out, so I have no recourse. Why do I bother? These people hate numbers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 367

You deserved it 79

True faith

By csor027 - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was having a good talk with a coworker and I was excited that I've made my first friend at work. After sharing some stories and some laughs he asked if I had a boyfriend. I said I do. He asked if I was always faithful, I said I was. He then walked away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 013

You deserved it 4 733

Don't look

By Anonymous - 10/06/2025 15:00 - United States

Today, I realized I had accidentally swapped phones with my coworker. She now has access to my search history, which includes: "Can cats sense shame?", "Is it OK to eat expired hummus?" and “Why do I hate my coworkers so much?” FML

I agree, your life sucks 132

You deserved it 433

How is this my problem?

By Anonymous - 10/06/2025 09:00 - United Kingdom - Beckton

Today, my manager and I were talking about one of our new hires, who I have been getting on well with already. My manager is happy with the newbie's work, but not with their interactions with our coworkers. Yeah… that's on me. My bad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 296

You deserved it 128

Never gonna let me live it down

By Taylor - 08/06/2025 12:00 - United States

Today, at work, I was making an appointment for an old lady who told me, "You look like a movie star!" I started to thank her when she followed up with, "Like that girl from the horror movie! Your black hair and pale skin makes you look scary! Oh, sorry…" with the coworker I hate the most sitting right next to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 438

You deserved it 87

Petty BS

By Anonymous - 05/06/2025 12:00 - United Kingdom

Today, a coworker told me that another coworker only treats me badly because I never asked her out. We’ve worked together for 3 years, if she wanted a date why didn’t she just ask me out instead? All she did was ruin her chances; she’s been so mean to me, I’d never ask her out now. What petty BS. FML

I agree, your life sucks 536

You deserved it 89

Scaffolding?

By NervousDog - 25/05/2025 15:00 - United States

Today, I spent most of the day with my stinkiest co-worker's soggy shoes level with my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 369

You deserved it 76

My name is…

By Unnoticed - This FML is from back in 2017 but it's good stuff - Australia - Thornlie

Today, my colleague introduced herself and said, "I know how nerve-racking first days are!" Which is nice of her, except I've been at this company longer than she has. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 483

You deserved it 383

Stephanie Says…

By Not Stephanie - 20/05/2025 15:00 - United States

Today, I ranted via text to my best friend about how annoying our coworker Stephanie is. I hit send, only to realize I had sent it to… the Stephanie in question. My backup plan? Following up with, "Just kidding! It’s for a short story I’m writing.” She replied, “I look forward to reading it.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 74

You deserved it 709

How does this keep happening?

By Anonymous - 30/04/2025 22:00 - Australia

Today, I sent an email to my boss complaining about how lazy one of my coworkers is and how I’m always having to pick up the slack. I realized too late that I'd Cc'd the coworker I was talking about. His reply was basically, “You’re welcome for doing my job while you waste your time complaining.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 100

You deserved it 527

Slick

By Anonymous - 19/04/2025 22:00 - United States

Today, I had a meeting with my team, and at the end, we were all excited about a new project. I tried to be casual and give one of my coworkers a high-five, but he didn’t see me and started walking away. I awkwardly high-fived myself while hoping anyone else didn't see me either. FML

I agree, your life sucks 303

You deserved it 120

Do something, anything

By Anonymous - 16/04/2025 03:00 - United States - Boston

Today, I was assigned to work on a group project with some coworkers. The entire time, one guy insisted on "taking charge" and assigning everyone tasks. He gave me a single task: “Create a 15-slide presentation.” I completed it in less than an hour. He then decided we needed a 100-slide presentation. FML

I agree, your life sucks 451

You deserved it 78

Cutthroat

By Glume - 06/04/2025 00:00 - Canada - Winnipeg

Today, my boss asked that I add the work of our third coworker's position to my shift because he's never finished his duties. She gave us a 50 cent raise to "babysit" a 60-ish year-old man. I responded to respectfully fire him or pay me 20/hr. His last day is Friday and he doesn't even know yet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 387

You deserved it 168

Team building

By Anonymous - 30/03/2025 09:00 - Belgium - Merendree

Today, it was my last day at my current job after a year and a half and the end of my contract. I brought snacks and a gift for the office. Nobody even bothered to come say goodbye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 501

You deserved it 108

Meritocracy is real?

By Anonymous - 28/03/2025 00:00 - Singapore - Singapore

Today, our assistant principal (of the elementary section) proposed a plan in which he would also take over our pre-school division. He's a totally unqualified teacher, but he got his position through cronyism. Now, he'll try to destroy my division as well, through his incompetence. FML

I agree, your life sucks 416

You deserved it 63

Good start

By Anonymous - 27/03/2025 15:00 - Belgium - Brussels

Today, our new co-worker started her job as member of our customer service team. It took some time to find someone good, so we were very happy to have her. After a few hours of explanation, it was time for her to log into her account with her work e-mail. Then she asked how our company name was written. FML

I agree, your life sucks 331

You deserved it 120

Brenda and me

By Not Brenda - 15/03/2025 22:00 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I was venting to a friend over Whatsapp about my annoying coworker when I realised I'd sent it to said coworker (always check which chat you are in while typing). I'd said, "I’m convinced Brenda is either possessed or just doesn't know how to be a normal human." I deleted it, but it was too late, as she replied with a smiley emoji and, “Can I help with anything, asshole?” FML

I agree, your life sucks 62

You deserved it 715

Mystery

By Gary - 14/03/2025 15:00 - United Kingdom - Wallsend

Today, I was pulled into an office by the head of my college department. I was told that I was “making someone uncomfortable” but refused to elaborate on who it was, or what I’d done wrong. How am I supposed to fix a problem if I don’t know what the problem is? FML

I agree, your life sucks 567

You deserved it 92

Toxic assholes

By Anonymous - 12/03/2025 09:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I overheard some gossip and learned I’m apparently the department weirdo everybody tolerates, but don’t actually like. It’s like high school all over again. Now, everywhere I go, I can feel my coworkers tolerating me just for being myself. I’ve already cried 3 times. FML

I agree, your life sucks 599

You deserved it 154

Which way now?

By Nadia - 03/03/2025 15:00 - United States

Today, it's been two years since my fiancé proposed, drunk, and with no ring. Recently, I overheard him on a Zoom call with a work colleague who'd not talked to him since he was with his last girlfriend, who was much more attractive than I am. The colleague asked if they were still together and he lied and said yes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 461

You deserved it 132

Am I the only one?

By Anonymous - 22/02/2025 22:00 - Netherlands - Utrecht

Today, all my coworkers are incompetent and I'm constantly fixing their mistakes. I've tried to help them to make fewer mistakes. They don't care. I've tried talking to their supervisors. They don't care either. I've been escalating matters step by step. I finally talked to the CEO about it. He doesn't care either. FML

I agree, your life sucks 469

You deserved it 150

Slowly walking down the hall

By Rayray - 17/02/2025 12:00 - United Kingdom - Swansea

Today, I was walking down the hallway at work when I saw a coworker I hadn't talked to in a while. I went for a high-five as a friendly greeting, but she didn’t see me coming and instead awkwardly grabbed my hand like she was about to hold it. We both froze for a second, and then awkwardly sighed and practically ran away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 210

You deserved it 316

When in doubt, blame everything on "woke"

By Anonymous - 01/02/2025 15:00 - United States - Anaheim

Today, I walked into work, only to be greeted by the office asshole saying, “Whoa! You’re still here?! I thought for sure when Trump ended that DEI crap they wouldn’t let you keep your job. Welcome back I guess.” Can we say HR MEETING?! FML

I agree, your life sucks 658

You deserved it 204

This could be the last time

By Jfc shut up - 31/01/2025 15:00 - United States - New York

Today, the guy conducting an experiment in the lab with me is about to quit. He keeps loudly announcing every time he does something for the last time. "This is the LAST TIME I'm gonna mix reagents!" I'm about to shove this clown into the vacuum oven. FML

I agree, your life sucks 427

You deserved it 110

Domino effect

By anon - 24/01/2025 12:00 - United States

Today, I laughed at a coworker for breaking a chair during a meeting. Ten minutes later, I sat in another chair, and it snapped under me. My coworker just whispered, "Karma, bitch." FML

I agree, your life sucks 86

You deserved it 823

FML on Facebook

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I spent all day doing a project for myself and then for a friend who's sick. Turned out it was a prank everyone in the class was pulling on me. I missed a baseball game because of it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 600

You deserved it 2 084

Today, my fiancé pawned off my engagement ring so he could buy himself a PS4. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 674

You deserved it 4 912

Today, I got hit by a car while walking into the hospital to visit my wife, who had also gotten hit by a car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 956

You deserved it 4 867

Today, I met my cousin after two years. She got really tall and skinny, like a model. I joked saying, "You've grown and gotten slim, and I've stayed the same and have gotten fat." I expected some sort of disagreement. Instead, she looked me up and down, frowned, and gave me a long, sympathetic hug. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 719

You deserved it 49 937

Today, I was swimming in the ocean with my best friend and a giant wave came and knocked off the bottom of my bikini. My friend told me that she would go get another bottom so I could walk onto the very crowded beach. She left me for half an hour, laughing from the shore with her entire family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 89 563

You deserved it 6 359

Today, while I was working in a grocery store, a costumer decide to take a dump on the ground after I told him he couldn’t access to restrooms because my boss closed them due to COVID restrictions. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 013

You deserved it 190