Bosses

Classic

By Anonymous - 14/08/2025 20:00 - United States - Seattle

Today, I met my new boss and went for a confident handshake. Somehow, we both missed completely and ended up awkwardly grabbing each other’s thumbs. Neither of us corrected it, so we just shook hands like we were in a masonic lodge. FML

I agree, your life sucks 341

You deserved it 111

Get me out of here

By Anonymous - 01/07/2021 02:01 - Canada

Today, I work at a super toxic workplace, where the owner/boss takes part in some rude/bullying behavior and does nothing when I'm being bullied by coworkers. As a matter of fact, he takes their side. I have been looking for a new job in what I do, but haven't had any luck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 003

You deserved it 110

Time to unionize

By Anonymous - 31/03/2025 09:00 - United Kingdom

Today, when our boss told us he was giving himself the same raise as everyone else was getting, we thought he was finally being a decent human being. Nope. He meant it literally. His raise to himself is the same amount as the other 12 employees' raises combined. His raise is 12x what ours is. FML

I agree, your life sucks 523

You deserved it 76

Feeling ripped off

By EpicOracle - 02/10/2021 10:59 - Nigeria

Today, I woke up feeling out of step with life. Work owes me money for 6 months-worth of projects I did. I collected loans to take care of my sick dad and manage myself, and now my bosses are refusing to pay what they owe, so my account balance is blank. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 143

You deserved it 119

Asshat of the day

By Ariane - 28/11/2022 12:00 - Belgium - Brussels

Today, my son's school called me at work to let me know my son had broken his leg playing soccer, so I had to come and take him to hospital. I told my boss I had to leave, explaining why. He asked, "How old is your son? - 16. - He's 16 and he still needs his mother? You're not leaving!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 179

You deserved it 79

The walls have ears

By Anonymous - 09/08/2024 14:00 - United Kingdom - Manchester

Today, while sitting at a table in a coffee shop, I overheard someone on the next table talking about their horrible boss. I joined in, complaining about mine, and going into great detail about what an arsehole he can be. Turns out, I was talking to my boss's sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 122

You deserved it 704

Let me out of here!

By misc - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my boss reeks of mothballs. We share a cubicle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 230

You deserved it 2 090

I'm working over here, leave me alone!

By lifeguardfuckup - 14/02/2019 15:17 - United States

Today, while lifeguarding, I received six prank phone calls on the official pool phone. When it rang again, I picked it up, told them to go fuck themselves, hung up, and then left the phone off the hook. A second later, my cellphone rang. It was my boss, telling me to get a sense of humor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 956

You deserved it 8 524

Late entry to the Delusional Christmas list

By Anonymous - 28/12/2023 09:00 - United Kingdom

Today, our boss is upset at us because not one person is going to the Christmas party that she so kindly bought all the snacks and drinks for. She scheduled it for noon, on the 25th of december. CHRISTMAS DAY. Hell, no no one is going, they’ll be with their families, not voluntarily going to work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 748

You deserved it 105

Overfamiliarity

By Anon office worker - 07/09/2025 00:00 - Australia

Today, I went in to hug my boss after a big project presentation, all because I misread his body language and thought he was opening his arms to me, but he was actually reaching for his jacket. I basically hugged his sleeve while he stared at me like I’d lost my mind. FML

I agree, your life sucks 98

You deserved it 367

Work until you drop dead

By Anonymous - 17/06/2022 16:00

Today, my ex shot me. Actually shot me. After I woke up from surgery, I told my manager I would obviously need sick leave. She told me she was shot in the army, and got over it because she’s "not a pussy", so she expects me back at work, recovering from a gunshot to the chest, by Tuesday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 324

You deserved it 112

How could you?

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - Australia

Today, I briefly had the coolest boss in the world. He stormed over to a nasty customer who was giving me hell, and he absolutely laid into her. It lasted about 10 seconds before he collapsed from a major heart attack. A coworker's already blamed me for not pacifying the customer in the first place and causing all this to happen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 195

You deserved it 1 088

Toxic workplace

By Anonymous - 05/12/2021 08:01

Today, I had a seizure for the first time in months. My fiancé went over to my job to let them know I wouldn't be going in. My boss bitched both of us because I didn't call myself. Sure, I'll get right on that when I'm conscious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 371

You deserved it 89

Overreach

By Anonymous - 20/02/2022 02:00

Today, my manager called me to demand I come in to fix his computer, unpaid of course, since I have no overtime rate, then threatened to fire me when I said, "No chance." I’m 1000 miles away on my honeymoon and he knows this, since he granted my holiday request and congratulated me on the wedding. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 390

You deserved it 79

Subtle differences

By Betterthanthis - 25/11/2015 20:16 - United States - New Berlin

Today, when my boss said, "Don't worry, I know all the requirements," she actually meant, "I know nothing, and will scream at you in rage because you cannot psychically divine all the requirements the day before a major holiday when no one is available to talk to you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 111

You deserved it 1 519

Malicious

By Anonymous - 02/07/2022 12:00

Today, after the opportunity for a little malicious compliance came my way, and I did exactly what my prick boss told me to do, knowing it would screw him over in about a week, it happened. Unfortunately, he has a good legal team and he just successfully sued me for £100,000. I may have to sell my house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 844

You deserved it 637

Brainrot

By Susan01 - 08/07/2025 09:00 - United States - Boston

Today, I was in a serious meeting with my boss and a client when I remembered a dumb meme my friend sent me last night. I couldn’t stop myself from snorting. Everyone stopped and looked at me. My boss said, “Is something funny?” Nope. Not anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 114

You deserved it 529

Get on with it

By Anonymous - 31/05/2025 03:00 - United Kingdom

Today, our manager went on a screaming tantrum because he says none of us wants to work and we make him look bad to the bosses. Yeah, the reason we’re not working is because he forgot to order our steel this week. Can’t do custom welding without the materials, boss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 513

You deserved it 62

Unfinished sympathy

By Anonymous - 22/09/2024 16:00 - United Kingdom - Cardiff

Today, I walked into the office bathroom and saw my manager in tears. I tried to comfort her and gave her a hug. Turns out, she wasn’t crying, she was having a sneezing fit, and looked horrified at my sympathy hug. FML

I agree, your life sucks 201

You deserved it 415

Cutting corners

By Anonymous - 07/06/2021 06:01

Today, we can finally order badly needed safety gear for my crew. My boss flipped his shit, demanding that I "stop bringing it up, it's annoying" for doing my damndest to keep up with industry standards. I was brought to tears for literally doing my job, with no "peers" to back me, since I'm an HR department of one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 301

You deserved it 139

Workers of the world, unionize

By Labcat - 04/12/2021 23:00 - United States - Vancouver

Today, I have a great union job and have told my friends about it. I recently received three calls from a very irate person, blaming me for, "stealing their workers by telling them about 'union BS'." I literally can't find their company anywhere, but they claim they will sue me. I don't even know who they are! FML

I agree, your life sucks 984

You deserved it 130

Major a-hole

By Anonymous - 17/12/2023 15:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I've been requesting to use my days off for months, but my boss would turn it down because of emergencies that required my presence (90% of the time it didn’t). Now it’s the end of year and he yelled at me for not using my days off, because it made him look bad to corporate. Asshole. FML

I agree, your life sucks 736

You deserved it 102

America, fix your bathroom stalls

By Anonymous - 11/10/2024 06:00 - United States - Denver

Today, my boss overheard me in a bathroom stall talking about how much I hate my job and couldn’t stand him. He didn’t say a word, I hadn't even heard him come in, I just noticed him staring silently at me through the crack in the stall, before leaving. FML

I agree, your life sucks 93

You deserved it 676

Get me out of here

By Anonymous - 06/01/2022 20:01

Today, I got a new name, which is “We” apparently. My supervisor keeps admonishing me about details, saying, “WE don’t do that” and, “WE make sure to do this”, while she herself simply does anything she pleases, including the opposite of what she tells me “we do”. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 024

You deserved it 131

Stuck

By clutzasaurus - 03/05/2013 05:35 - United States - Odessa

Today, I was feeling down about being stuck in bed after ankle surgery. I thought I would go ahead and call my boss and let him know everything went well. He said the obligatory nice things, then told me that if I'm not at work on Monday, I'll be fired. I can't even get out of bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 951

You deserved it 3 462

Timewaster

By DanielleinDC - 07/10/2023 17:30

Today, I learned my boss, the CEO of a multinational nonprofit, is so computer illiterate that he hadn't realized he could resize the File Explorer window on his computer, leading to days of delay of him getting work to my team, and a lot of unhappy notes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 602

You deserved it 114

Breaking news

By Deedee - This FML is from back in 2017 but it's good stuff

Today, fifteen minutes before the end of the day, my boss asked me who I was training to replace me. He then said never mind, that it was his job to choose someone. I hadn't indicated that I was planning on leaving the company. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 388

You deserved it 352

Exploitation

By Anonymous - 11/08/2022 18:00

Today, despite having made it clear that I'm neither interested, nor I am able to take over the jobs of the 3 members of staff who have recently left, my boss made a "Progress Plan" for me and will check on it weekly. I'm getting paid 1.5 times less than average in my role and he's not giving me a raise because the company is stingy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 067

You deserved it 183

Out of the frying pan into another frying pan

By Rizuki_Tsurai - 02/04/2025 00:00 - Philippines - Addition Hills

Today, after I got fired from my job last year because I couldn't handle the pressure of being under a PIP by a company who wants to underhandedly cut off employees, I got a new job. My new boss keeps hounding me about my performance and I feel like she doesn't like me. I live alone, have no savings and I can't afford being fired again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 388

You deserved it 125

Bad boss

By Anonymous - 17/02/2022 14:00

Today, despite warning my boss that it’s dangerous and stupid, he still insisted I get on with putting up a 4-storey tall scaffolding in high winds, and when it blew over, he blamed me for not putting it together correctly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 051

You deserved it 105

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Random

Today, whilst texting my boyfriend on the train, I noticed the woman sitting next to me staring intently at my phone. After letting my boyfriend know, he sent a message saying, "Are we gonna involve the dog again? Last night was fun." She gasped and screamed that I'm a "twisted dog-humping bitch." FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 627

You deserved it 7 324

Today, my girlfriend and I both developed food poisoning from last night's sushi. Our apartment has one bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 341

You deserved it 3 328

I'm just gonna walk away now...

I agree, your life sucks 268

You deserved it 108

Today, I became the senior receptionist at my job, which is supposed to have three receptionists. The others all had life changes, so they're moving on, which is fair, but now I have to train new people. I've been here three weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 050

You deserved it 112

Today, after several months of warning my sister to stop drinking so many energy drinks, she is now in the hospital with potentially life-threatening heart problems. Now I have the worry that my sister will meet an early grave to add to my list of things that give me anxiety. FML

I agree, your life sucks 956

You deserved it 191

Today, I got a complaint that I'm not performing as usual at my work. That's when I realised it was because I now prioritise my sleep and life over staying awake late at night to learn from the offshore team. I used to work during the ungodly hours of 2am to 7am daily and was then a zombie for the whole day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 796

You deserved it 141