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Have you just experienced an FML moment?

Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Your instinct was right, because it’s good to laugh life off. Follow the instructions below, and if your story gets through the moderation process, it'll published in the next 24 hours or so.


    Remaining characters: 320

    Your story must start with “Today,” and end with “FML”. TXT language is forbidden and spelling mistakes hurt people’s eyeballs, so the use of either would result in the direct dismissal of your FML. Don’t use this space for discussions, advertising or spam, or for posting anything which isn’t an FML. Furthermore, it’s not possible to obtain badges by posting keywords, so stop believing things you’ve read on message boards. Don’t try reposting old FMLs, we’re not that daft.


    Please read our guidelines for posting

    Birds

    Sky the killer

    By omnomnom - 05/02/2011 00:29 - Canada

    Today, I bought a pretty blue parakeet to keep my parrot company, and named her Sky. I went to work a few hours later. When I came home that night, I found my parrot dead. There wasn't a huge mess to clean, though; Sky had already eaten half of his corpse. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 36 105
    You deserved it 8 055
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    New creepypasta just dropped

    By Anonymous - 25/06/2009 08:34 - United States

    Today, I was getting a pedicure when the woman sitting next to me asked the lady if she could take the skin she had scraped off my feet home to her birds, because "they love skin." She then described for 20 minutes how her birds love to sit on her when her sunburn is peeling and eat her skin. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 89 542
    You deserved it 4 388
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    Keywords

    Money Technology Work Relationships Horses Animals Jealousy Birds Embarrassing Relatable Cars Transportation Miscellaneous Photography Mysterious Neighbours Cute I need your advice Clothes Family Love Cops Abuse Kids NSFW Sex Intimacy Mental health Ironic Haircut
    The Top FMyLife FMyLife
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    Today, I seriously considered stepping in front of a car so that I could miss a few days of work. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 14 426
    You deserved it 2 984
    Today, it was my birthday. I spent all day in bed, sick with the flu. My boyfriend then broke up with me by text, because he didn't want to risk getting sick by doing it in person. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 56 116
    You deserved it 3 425
    Today, a pregnant friend who is due in 2 weeks posted a picture of a baby on Facebook. I commented congratulations. She's still pregnant. It was a picture of her baby who died 3 years ago. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 55 406
    You deserved it 13 095
    Today, I had to present a powerpoint in front of my class. When I was finished, no one clapped. On my way back to my seat, I slipped on a pencil and fell straight on my face. That's when everyone clapped. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 39 995
    You deserved it 4 589
    Today, I was finally hooking up with a girl I was after for a long time. Things got really hot and heavy but she stopped and looked at me weird. She said, "I can't do it, you're really wet. It looks like chicken fat." FML
    I agree, your life sucks 22 939
    You deserved it 4 052
    Today, I was practicing my golf swing on my front lawn. I took a swing and on the backstroke the golf club slipped out of my hands. Next thing I know, it hits a neighbor's window, shatters it, and goes right into their living room. FML
    I agree, your life sucks 639
    You deserved it 1 549
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