Awkward

Let me down gently

By Abbyyyy - 20/11/2023 00:00

Today, I was in the park making out with a guy I’m seeing when I heard a familiar voice say, “Abby?” It was the guy who was trying to get with me for months but I told him I wasn’t ready for a relationship, rather than tell him that he was too ugly for me. If looks could kill… FML

I agree, your life sucks 174

You deserved it 993

Denial

By Anonymous - 18/11/2023 15:00 - United States - Fort Worth

Today, my mother-in-law said I was manipulative, awful, mean, incapable of love, and the reason for my husband's depression. All because I got him to agree to inpatient psychiatric care after he expressed suicidal thoughts that included our children. She says it's ridiculous and he's fine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 811

You deserved it 114

A new career beckons

By Anonymous - 18/11/2023 14:00 - Colombia - Corozal

Today, I thought it was a great idea to join a work meeting while I was taking a shower. But thanks to Murphy's law, everything that could go wrong went wrong. I'd forgotten to turn off my webcam. Now my boss and my other 500 coworkers are asking me about my "OnlyFans account." FML

I agree, your life sucks 111

You deserved it 1 214

I know where I'm going

By Anonymous - 18/11/2023 10:00 - Australia

Today, I went on a hiking date with my significant other. Trying to be adventurous and assertive, I suggested we take a shortcut through the woods. We got hopelessly lost and ended up spending the night in a deserted ranger station. Turns out, my idea of adventure is not quite as romantic as it sounds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 108

You deserved it 696

Communication breakdown

By Anonymous - 18/11/2023 06:00

Today, I tried to tell my boyfriend how I have been feeling recently in our relationship. He lashed out at me, saying I was just accusing him of being the bad guy. I guess I'll never express my feelings ever again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 524

You deserved it 185

Never reveal your password to anything

By Sky_Flower - 17/11/2023 22:00

Today, my little brother left the house with my phone by accident. He called from his school to ask for my password so he could access his email. When he got home and gave me my phone back, while closing the open apps, my photo gallery was open. When I clicked on it, my naked selfie was open. FML

I agree, your life sucks 189

You deserved it 723

Emotional

By skyeraven - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - South Africa - Cape Town

Today, an elderly man had to give me money to pay for my grocery bill because my sister broke down crying in the store as I didn't have enough money to pay for both her milkshake and cookies. She's 19. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 337

You deserved it 4 777

Sometimes, the thought doesn't count

By Anonymous - 17/11/2023 14:00

Today, we got a diamond delivered to our house. I was super confused until my husband admitted he’d taken the ashes of his grandparents and parents, my mom and my grandparents', and my auntie's, mixed them all together and sent them to one of those diamond making companies. I’m divorcing him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 630

You deserved it 209

Never forget

By Emma - 17/11/2023 10:00

Today, I found out my husband has been messaging younger girls on Tinder and trying to meet up. I asked him why he would do such a thing when we have a healthy sex life. His response was ,“They’re just hotter, just like that senior football player you cheated on me with in sophomore year high school.” We’re 40 now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 517

You deserved it 595

Loving this

By AguilaAzul - 16/11/2023 20:00

Today, after the worst year possible (3 herniated discs, my brother-in-law, who was my boss, replaced me at work during my disability, and my girlfriend dumped me during that disability). I had to go to my sister and brother-in-law's marriage renewal because my mom guilted me into it. My ex's dad and brother were also there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 510

You deserved it 110

The heart wants what it wants

By Anonymous - 16/11/2023 13:00 - Portugal

Today, I realized I'm in love with both my boyfriend of several years as well with a guy I recently met, meaning I'm polyamorous (which I always kinda knew). The problem is I don't want to leave my current boyfriend, and I really want to be with the new guy, but both situations are incompatible, which is making me miserable. FML

I agree, your life sucks 209

You deserved it 1 192

Is there that much demand for that sort of thing?

By Paper Plane in the Night Sky - 16/11/2023 07:00 - Philippines - Makati City

Today, my overly jealous insecure brother "found" my ATM receipt, and called me out during a family luncheon, accusing me for being a drug dealer because, "How else could someone who is unemployed even before the pandemic could have almost 7 digits?" I couldn't answer them. Secretly, I'm a furry hentai artist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 676

You deserved it 245

Alexa, play "Lost in the Supermarket" by The Clash

By metroido - 15/11/2023 16:00

Today, it was my first shift at Walmart. I wasn’t given an assignment, and my supervisor told me to “go find the manager to get assigned.” I spent the entire eight hours of my shift trying to find the manager. I couldn’t find my supervisor again either. FML

I agree, your life sucks 579

You deserved it 126

SIKE!

By Anonymous - 14/11/2023 08:00 - United States - Lawrenceville

Today, at work at a psych hospital, I saw a lady get out of a Lyft with two other people. The lady went into the lobby, while the two other people went to admissions. I asked the lady in the lobby if she was lost or needed help finding admissions, thinking she was family of the other two. Turns out she works in a different building. FML

I agree, your life sucks 337

You deserved it 152

Freeze

By Anonymous - 14/11/2023 00:02

Today, my mom slaved over a hot stove making a meal for 20 guests. They all cancelled at the last second. We now have leftovers for 20 people. FML

I agree, your life sucks 703

You deserved it 100

Timelapse

By Anonymous - 13/11/2023 08:00 - United States - Norfolk

Today, I married my wife a few weeks before deploying to Kosovo as a military peacekeeper. She was a young Christian whose father, a pastor, performed our wedding ceremony. Before I got home, she told me that she and her cousin were lovers and that she used the money I sent her to file for divorce and pay for their honeymoon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 916

You deserved it 119

I wanna be your dog

By Anonymous - 12/11/2023 20:00

Today, my wife lost her patience with her aunt but because she can't say anything to her, she takes it out on me. Then she also blames everything on me, in that I didn't do enough to make it stop. I went against my family and relatives to be with this woman, but I get treated as a dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 472

You deserved it 331

Uncomfortable encounter

By Klo - 12/11/2023 16:00

Today, I was set to meet my friends at a new, trendy café. I arrived early, eager to impress, but ended up walking into the wrong café and got stuck for an hour engaged in a disturbing conversation about serial killers with a total stranger who'd deludedly mistaken me for a long-lost friend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 369

You deserved it 304

Boxing

By Holly - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States - Colorado Springs

Today, I had to wait in a hospital room because I cut myself with a knife while trying to open a box of soda. After three stitches, I went home only to notice the box has an easy-open tab. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 525

You deserved it 32 220

Tough shit

By c.m.g. - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff

Today, I was taking a dump in a porta-potty at a fair. I had the runs really bad. All I have to say is that it's tough to take a shit that seems never-ending while other people outside are bitching at you and hammering on the flimsy door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 594

You deserved it 3 943

Here comes trouble

By Anonymous - 11/11/2023 01:02

Today, I found out that my girlfriend's new friend is actually her "replacement". They met a few months ago, and she's really cool, we share the same interests, it's nice to spend time with her, etc., but my girlfriend planned to break up with me and "trained" her because she doesn't want me to be lonely. FML

I agree, your life sucks 659

You deserved it 145

Strapped for cash

By Anonymous - 10/11/2023 03:00 - United States - Dallas

Today, my now ex-best friend decided to sell his house. This wouldn't be a problem if he hadn't asked me to live in it and look after it, which I've been doing for two years while he's abroad, and is the result of his loud-mouthed, obese mother leading him around by the nose, and forcing both of us to pay her bills. FML

I agree, your life sucks 221

You deserved it 422

His place or your place?

By Anonymous - 10/11/2023 04:00 - Germany

Today, my boyfriend has covered his windows in heavy-duty garbage bags, all the while complaining that his apartment has no view. In our old place, which did have a view, he always kept the blinds closed and never opened the windows more than 2 centimeters. FML

I agree, your life sucks 419

You deserved it 126

Blackmail material

By Anonymous - 09/11/2023 18:00

Today, my wife has video of me asleep on the sofa, clearly having a vivid sex dream, with a raging erection, ending with me having an orgasm that soaked through the front of my shorts, leaving a wet spot, which she helpfully zoomed in on just to really illustrate my shame. FML

I agree, your life sucks 655

You deserved it 188

Here's to another 20!

By Roy - 08/11/2023 03:00 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, it’s been 20 years since my then girlfriend of 2 weeks fell asleep while I was going down on her. She claimed it was because she was so ‘relaxed’ with me. I married her anyway. Now, she’s still very, very ‘relaxed’ with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 175

You deserved it 500

Slight overreaction

By GiGib - 08/11/2023 06:00

Today, during my sister’s baby shower, my 3 year-old daughter choked on a piece of food. My sister got upset because this apparently attracted a lot of attention from the other guests, and called my daughter an “attention whore” for “choosing today of all days to make a damn scene.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 782

You deserved it 137

Bugging out

By Anonymous - 07/11/2023 16:00 - Italy

Today, there's a guy in my class who I'm very attracted to. I'm hyperconscious of him for that, and I worry about the impression I give. By now though, there have been at least two different eye contact occasions that made it look like I was staring at him when I was NOT, and now I must look like a creepy stalker. FML

I agree, your life sucks 199

You deserved it 482

Creepy

By Fail - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I thought I'd surprise my girlfriend with a bear hug. I found her in the hall with her back to me, talking to friends. As I walked up behind her and was about to wrap my arms around her, she said, "So… does anyone have any ideas about how I should break it off with my boyfriend?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 464

You deserved it 3 122

Parental advice

By Anonymous - 07/11/2023 06:00

Today, I was going on my first date. I was planning my outfit with my mom when my dad offered his advice. “That boy won’t care what outfit you’re wearing, just make sure you wear sexy underwear and carry a condom, guaranteed first date success. That’s how me and your mom got married, you know?” FML

I agree, your life sucks 477

You deserved it 128

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

Today, I accidentally sent highly confidential patient records to a fired employee. This employee made the biggest song and dance about it, calling every boss possible. I couldn't have sent it to a better person. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 192

You deserved it 3 334

Today, I thought my new kitten had gotten out, so I roamed the streets in the pouring rain, screaming his name for hours. Eventually, my fiance called and said he was home from work. I cried that the cat was gone, and he said, "What do you mean? He's on my lap." FML

I agree, your life sucks 371

You deserved it 194

Today, while apartment hunting with my boyfriend, I needed to use the bathroom. We were on our own and no toilet paper. Fortunately I carry wipes with me, because I had to more than just pee. All was fine, until I tried to flush and realized the water was turned off. The next person will get quite the surprise. FML

I agree, your life sucks 216

You deserved it 380

Today, I was going down on my girlfriend when I noticed a hickey near her hip. I said, "wow, last night was crazy, I don't even remember doing that!". Without even interrupting the action, she simply said, "You didn't". FML

I agree, your life sucks 102 845

You deserved it 6 806

Today, I went to the bank to get a jar of coins exchanged for cash via a fancy counter machine. After 30 minutes I was handed a bag of rolling sleeves and was told to do it myself. Good news, I have a lot more money than I thought. Bad news, I have A LOT more coins than I thought. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 860

You deserved it 389

Today, I work for a public radio station and I found out our funding was slashed in the new federal budget. Meanwhile, there’s a military parade planned for the president’s birthday. I guess I’ll start podcasting from my garage then. FML

I agree, your life sucks 519

You deserved it 223