Shut up anon - 04/05/2009 21:56 - United States Today, I was sitting in a theater waiting for the movie to start when a hot guy sat next to me. Trying to impress him, I made seemingly witty comments to my friend throughout the movie. When it ended, he loudly complained to his friends about the 'annoying girl' sitting next to him. FML 9 771 105 136
Freudian slip someonevexed - 01/02/2009 19:01 - Germany Today, my boyfriend called me by his mother's name for the 100th time. I'm a guy. FML 39 038 10 233
Dude, STFU! Cyberdeeder - 13/10/2008 08:19 Today, at the cinema, I sat next to a guy who couldn’t stand a minute without laughing or making comments about the film. FML 75 152 20 272
Today, I was talking to my girlfriend on Facebook. She's in the forces, and it was her birthday. I asked her if she liked the flowers I sent her. She thanked me, then asked if she could remove our relationship status. When I asked why, she said, "It's not like we're really going out anymore." FML 38 485 2 738
Today, after buying my girlfriend an expensive gift for her birthday, cooking her breakfast in bed, and treating her all day ending with dinner and cake at her parents, she burst into tears and said the whole day was ruined. Why? I forgot to buy her a birthday card. FML 1 450 134
Today, me, my boyfriend and his family stayed at an AirBnB while on a trip. While I was doing my makeup, my boyfriend told me he was going to take a shower. A few minutes later, I went in the bathroom to shave my legs thinking my boyfriend was in there, but his dad was in the shower, scrubbing his ass. FML 1 649 619
Today, my boyfriend and I got into a fight. Once we were cool, we decided to have makeup sex. I tried to change position so we could 69, but I then accidently kicked him in the head. He thinks I did it on purpose. FML 1 072 285
Today, I had a customer go on a 15-minute rant about how disgusting fat people are, and how they deserve it if they develop diabetes, gout, etc. Yes, I am fat. I eat well, I exercise, I've had a gastric balloon, I've been to weight loss retreats, dieticians, personal trainers, and yet I'm "gross." FML 946 292
Today, after months of hardcore flirting with this incredibly attractive guy, he invited me to hang out. At which point he introduced me to his boyfriend. FML 39 439 7 712