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Gimme my money

By PrettyGirlCrookedMouth - 27/03/2026 09:00

Today, someone was sent to our house to fix our broken garage door. Mom asked me to pay for it, telling me she'd pay me back this weekend. It was supposed to be about $300 and some change. The door was so broken, it ended up costing $1000, cleaning out my whole savings account. FML

I agree, your life sucks 351

You deserved it 52

How do you eat a hamburger?

By Always my fault - 28/03/2026 12:00

Today, my son won't go to his team dinner because the other kids made fun of him for "eating like a monkey." My wife says this is my fault. Funny, when I tried to teach him not to eat with his fingers, she got mad and ranted that "people ALL OVER THE WORLD eat with their fingers, it's normal, stop criticizing him!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 342

You deserved it 78

Surely there's a conversation to be had

By Anonymous - 29/03/2026 15:00

Today, I asked my wife for a divorce because her kids hate my son and are horrible to him because they don't like that he has a dad and they don't. She's my soulmate and the love of my life, but I can't do this to him anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 341

You deserved it 64

Be curious, you never know…

By Not interested dude take the hint - 24/03/2026 09:00

Today, I was wondering if I might be bi, so I hopped on Grindr and met up with a cute guy to experiment with. It ended up being so awful that I decided nope, definitely not bi. Unfortunately now he won't leave me alone, even after I told him that I made a mistake and I'm not interested. FML

I agree, your life sucks 341

You deserved it 249

Third or fourth opinion?

By River Maria - 28/03/2026 03:00

Today, after months of being told I have pneumonia by different doctors, I decided to go to another hospital with better staff. There I learned that I will actually need to have open heart surgery to replace two valves in my heart. FML

I agree, your life sucks 337

You deserved it 49

Disappointed

By Anonymous - 26/03/2026 15:00

Today, as yet more proof my useless son is probably going to be living with me well into his adulthood, he has now failed his driving theory test 14 times, despite me studying with him every afternoon. He also has no job, no goals, no girlfriend, and a neck tattoo. FML

I agree, your life sucks 335

You deserved it 156

Low blow

By Alay - 25/03/2026 15:00

Today, while I was working, my friend stopped by and visited with me a moment. After she left, my client asked me if she was my daughter. My friend is 32 and I'm 27. FML

I agree, your life sucks 328

You deserved it 77

Atomic family

By Anonymous - 27/03/2026 22:00

Today, I found out that my dad and mom, who just passed away, were never married and that my siblings and I weren't actually his. Now there's the very real possibility that we could be taken away. I'll die if that happens. FML

I agree, your life sucks 313

You deserved it 50

Red flag

By Yes, I still like him. - 25/03/2026 22:00

Today, I just discovered that the guy I really like, whom I greet with a wave and a sweet "Hi!" to everyday, wasn't really greeting me back with a "Hi!" and a wave. It was a "Heil Hitler!" with a Nazi salute. FML

I agree, your life sucks 310

You deserved it 133

Pace yourself

By UnFit - 27/03/2026 00:00

Today, I've always been a healthy person with a normal body and average BMI. My husband is a fitness freak with a super body. When I expressed interest in starting working out, he laughed at me and said, "Trust me, you're not the fitness kind. I've tried." What hurt me most is that it's true. FML

I agree, your life sucks 300

You deserved it 116

Mad as snow

By Lucy J - 28/03/2026 09:00

Today, my mom and I were running late for school, and she got pretty stuck in the snow so she asked me to dig her out. Then she ran over my foot. As I got into the car and blamed her for what she'd done, she shouted at me that she couldn't care less, and that we had to hurry. FML

I agree, your life sucks 299

You deserved it 48

Cost effective

By Anonymous - 28/03/2026 15:00

Today, I got into yet another fight with my wife because I keep telling her Los Angeles is too expensive and that we need to move somewhere cheaper. But she won't listen. She keeps saying all these high prices are going to blow up in the government's faces. I agree, they probably are, but when? Tomorrow? FML

I agree, your life sucks 296

You deserved it 57

Sparkles 4 U

By Anonymous - 29/03/2026 00:00

Today, in addition to no smoking and no pets, I now have to add NO FUCKING GLITTER to my Airbnb listing. The last fuckers left my place sparkling like a gang of fairies had an orgy in every goddamn room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 290

You deserved it 123

The soothsayer

By mustanggt - 23/03/2026 12:00

Today, we had a field trip to the local theme park. As I explained the safety rules, one of the students piped up with, "Yeah, I'm ditching you. Y'all are going to be the ones puking your guts up all over the place." He was right. FML

I agree, your life sucks 286

You deserved it 96

Stylist

By Joh - 26/03/2026 03:00

Today, I got home, stripped down to my underwear, and laid on the couch. The cat came up, then started meowing loudly at me and bit my sides and legs until I put on sweats and a t-shirt. I now have a cat-enforced dress code. FML

I agree, your life sucks 285

You deserved it 153

Take the W

By Anonymous - 29/03/2026 09:00

Today, in an argument with her mother, my girlfriend told her she doesn’t want to marry a tall, attractive, successful man because she wants to marry me. I know what she meant but I’m still struggling not to feel upset by the comparison. FML

I agree, your life sucks 264

You deserved it 60

A bit of an overreaction

By Anonymous - 25/03/2026 12:00

Today, my wife, who I thought was my soulmate, admitted that she only went out on our first date because she'd lost a bet, and she'd thought I was a loser. Even though she kept saying that she really did fall in love with me, I left. My heart is just shattered. I'm not going back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 241

You deserved it 539

Making plans for Nigel

By Anonymous - 28/03/2026 22:00

Today, my best friend, who is dying of cancer, named her younger brother as next of kin for her kids. He's like 19 and knows nothing about taking care of kids. I keep begging and pleading with her that I can take the kids, and that my wife and I are capable, but she says no. Only family can have her kids. FML

I agree, your life sucks 232

You deserved it 163

Classic

By Anonymous - 29/03/2026 12:00

Today, I got a strand of dental floss stuck in my teeth. The only thing that hurts more than my mouth is the irony. FML

I agree, your life sucks 183

You deserved it 49

You'll understand when you're older

By I had no idea I swear!!! - 27/03/2026 20:00

Today, I was told that the cute rhyming nickname I gave to my daughter’s best friend is actually the name of an adult performer. I feel gross, even though I truly had no idea. Now the girl asks me why I don’t call her that anymore and I don’t know what to tell her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 138

You deserved it 59

No smoke, no fire

By Anonymous - 25/03/2026 03:00

Today, a misunderstanding led to me falsely accusing my husband of cheating. We cleared it up and he forgave me and everything, but my parents are still convinced that he cheated, and won't believe me when I say he wasn't. FML

I agree, your life sucks 121

You deserved it 477

I know what I'm doing

By Notsostrong - 30/03/2026 00:00

Today, I’m a gym newbie and worked up the courage to go to the weights section. I loaded what I thought was a reasonable amount onto a bar and tried to lift it… except it didn’t move. At all. I pretended I was “just stretching,” then removed half the weights while hoping no one noticed. Someone definitely noticed and gave me an encouraging thumbs up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 121

You deserved it 60

Love is hell

By Anonymous - 29/03/2026 03:00

Today, after my long distance "boyfriend" told me he loved me more than the world, he asked for advice on how to talk to girls. He already has a girl from class in mind. What's worse is that I actually haven't broken up with him yet because I know about his home life. I can't help but feel like I wasted my time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 94

You deserved it 261

First day

By Henry - 29/03/2026 20:00

Today, I started a new job and wanted to seem organized, so I brought a homemade lunch in a container. I went to heat it up, but forgot to remove the lid completely. The container exploded in the microwave, covering the inside with sauce. I spent my lunch break cleaning it while my coworkers smirked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 84

You deserved it 159

As he should

By Anonymous - 24/03/2026 12:00

Today, I sold all of my son's games and gadgets because he got a horrible report card. It turned out that the school made some sort of a mistake and it wasn't his actual report card. He actually got great grades. I tried to apologize but he told me to fuck off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 72

You deserved it 1 170

I need it, I want it

By Asshole - 24/03/2026 20:00

Today, I was at my boyfriend's apartment. He started coming on to me so I pushed him away and said, "No chance." He said "Well, I'm horny, so I'm gonna take care of it myself. Can you go home now?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 71

You deserved it 367

Music is music

By So boringgggggggg - 27/03/2026 12:00

Today, over the last year, my husband has gone from listening to normal people music to constantly listening to boring classical music thanks to his new coworkers. We went to a work party and he spent half the time debating dead white composer men. LISTEN TO REAL MUSIC, YOU WEIRDO! FML

I agree, your life sucks 69

You deserved it 828

Cold dish for dinner

By Zia - 25/03/2026 20:00

Today, as soon as I got home, my husband said he was hungry and that I needed to cook. I flipped my shit and yelled at him for a good half hour. Later, he pulled out his phone and showed me videos of me doing the exact thing to him, asking him to do things the second he walked in the door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65

You deserved it 818

Toxic

By DontheRon - 26/03/2026 20:00

Today, I reported the girl I like’s new boyfriend to be trespassed from our workplace for being disruptive. I’m sick of him coming in and bringing her lunch and acting lovey dovey. My plan successfully worked, he is no longer welcome on the premises, but now half the office hates me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56

You deserved it 1 082

Faux pas

By Anonymous - 29/03/2026 22:00

Today, as a graphic designer, I sent a “final” logo to a client after days of revisions. They replied that they loved it. Five minutes later I saw I'd left a hidden layer visible with a joke note that said “this version is the least ugly one.” I had to send a follow-up email claiming it was “an internal label that accidentally exported.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 51

You deserved it 190

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The Top

Today, I was home alone while my mom went out to dinner. I decided to hop in the shower, and I noticed my mom left her douche in there. After, I texted her telling her what I found and that it was gross. Her response? "It's not gross. It came from my vagina, like you and your sister." FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 019

You deserved it 23 340

Today, my hamster went missing. I walked down the stairs into my basement, to find my hamster's head on the stairs, and its body in my cat's mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 349

You deserved it 4 301

Today, it's that time of year again: my mom has threatened to disown me if I celebrate Christmas in any way, shape, or form. Yes, she is an extreme bible thumper. No, she doesn't see what is wrong with her behavior, nor does she care. FML

I agree, your life sucks 934

You deserved it 107

Today, I found out my girlfriend had changed my ringtone to some woman moaning with pleasure continuously. I found this out in the middle of a job interview when she rang me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 916

You deserved it 594

Today, at the supermarket, a woman came up to me and said I looked just like her son, who was killed in Afghanistan. She tearfully asked if she could hug me "one last time." It was a little weird, but I let her. Ten minutes later, at the checkout, I realized she'd pickpocketed my wallet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 766

You deserved it 5 299

Today, my psycho neighbor finished building a cannon. An honest-to-god, on-wheels, could-be-on-a-pirate-ship cannon. And now he's testing it in the forest by my house. I'm pretty scared for my life, to be honest. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 242

You deserved it 4 815