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Don't look

By Anonymous - 23/07/2025 18:00 - United States

Today, I realized that my sense of attraction is so incredibly messed up and geeky that I found the "Rib Woman" monster in the World Of Horror game that I play fascinating. Do not look up what she looks like, you will be unhappy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 136

You deserved it 316

Busted up

By KittyT - 27/07/2025 23:00 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, I learnt my health is so messed up that a private clinic gave me my money back out of sympathy because they couldn't do a procedure. FML

I agree, your life sucks 355

You deserved it 87

So, when a man loves a woman…

By Gwen - 01/08/2025 21:00 - Russia - Kolomna

Today, I'm really puzzled about explaining what he saw to our 6-year old. So, he walked in on us mid-sex, which itself would be barely acceptable if there were only the two of us, his married parents, but actually a dead drunk threesome between my husband, his best male friend, and me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 89

You deserved it 570

Back to square one

By Anonymous - 05/08/2025 15:00 - Australia - Perth

Today, I was colouring countries on a map on my computer whilst listening to music. I was almost done when, whilst swinging my legs to the beat, my leg caught on the computer’s power cord and pulled it out. I was so caught up in the job I hadn’t saved in a while, so all my progress went up in digital smoke. FML

I agree, your life sucks 199

You deserved it 364

Change of plans

By Somebody fucking kill me! - 12/08/2025 05:00 - Mexico

Today, as I was going to hook up with a sex friend, I discovered that my pack of condoms was missing. Then I saw my sister chewing out her two 10-year-old twins, who'd found them in my drawer. This how my family, who had visited me for family dinner, found out about my sexual life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 259

You deserved it 113

It's gone woke

By Scrafty - 31/08/2025 18:00 - United States - Mount Airy

Today, they introduced a mega evolved form of my favorite Pokémon, but it looks like a Ku Klux Klan member. FML

I agree, your life sucks 290

You deserved it 170

Struggling

By Anonymous - 04/09/2025 08:00 - United States

Today, I started my senior year of high school. Every guy I try to get with immediately loses interest and runs off when they learn I have a one year-old son. It’s not fair I have to deny my baby boy just to find happiness. FML

I agree, your life sucks 180

You deserved it 1 063

Unreliable

By ForeverAlone - 16/09/2025 22:00

Today, my boyfriend begged me to spend an extra night at his house. I agreed, cancelled my Uber, and arranged for my pets to be cared for, since I wasn't coming home. Five minutes later, he decided that he had to work tonight instead. Then he got angry at me for leaving. FML

I agree, your life sucks 381

You deserved it 63

DDLG

By Anonymous - 20/09/2025 12:00

Today, I accidentally said "Yes Daddy” to my boyfriend while at dinner with his parents. They threw me out. My boyfriend did nothing to defend me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 165

You deserved it 501

At this point, it's just self-sabotage

By Just be a man - 10/10/2025 00:00

Today, I find video games very unattractive and unmanly. I told a great guy that he had to choose between me and his video games, and he immediately told me he chose video games, then asked me to leave. Whatever, loser. FML

I agree, your life sucks 83

You deserved it 1 681

Surprised indeed

By Wuuut - 30/10/2025 09:00

Today, I decided to surprise my girlfriend by showing up at her place with flowers and dinner. She opened the door wearing pajamas… and standing next to her was another guy wearing the same pajamas. They both looked at me like I was the intruder. FML

I agree, your life sucks 547

You deserved it 75

Romance is dead

By Mom - 08/11/2025 03:00

Today, my daughter came over, furiously ranting that her husband had asked for a divorce. During the conversation, I asked what she did to make him happy. She glared at me and yelled, "It's not my job to make my husband happy!" I'm on her husband's side after that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 410

You deserved it 196

Classic

By Mortified - 09/11/2025 22:00

Today, I tried to secretly take a photo of a cute guy on the train. I forgot my flash was on. He looked straight at me, smirked, and said, “If you wanted my picture, you could’ve just asked.” I got off three stops early. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54

You deserved it 545

What is going on?

By Anonymous - 18/11/2025 20:00

Today, I was in a quiet meeting on Teams using noise-cancelling AirPods when my coworkers started giggling. I assumed someone’s mic was acting up. Turns out, my mic was on, and the mysterious squeaking noise was my chair… or so I thought. Nope. My dog was also behind me licking a balloon for some reason. FML

I agree, your life sucks 281

You deserved it 90

Help is needed

By Anonymous - 24/11/2025 03:00

Today, was just another exhausting day in which I cater to the needs of my kids, my cat, and my boss. I work opposite hours from my wife, we barely have energy to catch up and plan chores. I sleep 5 hours a day tops and have to work out daily so my back doesn't hurt. I'm burned out. I don't know what I need but I need it now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 396

You deserved it 90

Don't do this sort of shit

By Ouch - 29/12/2025 15:00

Today, I got in the car with some friends, only to realize none of them were wearing seat belts. They heckled me until I took mine off, then the driver slammed on the brakes and I hit the dash. They'd all known it was coming and braced themselves. FML

I agree, your life sucks 131

You deserved it 479

Nom nom nom

By Fern - 06/01/2025 00:00 - Germany

Today, I used a new body wash that smells like vanilla cookies. My dog spent the entire day chasing me around and trying to lick my arms. FML

I agree, your life sucks 374

You deserved it 167

Repent!

By Gimmme - 11/01/2025 09:00 - United States - Tacoma

Today, I thought I saw a $100 bill in the bushes. It was, in fact, just a cleverly folded pamphlet for some church or something. I spent 10 minutes digging through leaves for nothing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 351

You deserved it 248

Dipping out

By Anonymous - 13/01/2025 03:00 - Australia

Today, I was trying to sneak a nap at work by lying on my desk with my arms over my head, hoping my computer screen would cover me. I woke up to find my coworker had taped a sign on the back of my screen that said, "I’m not sleeping, I'm just buffering." Pictures were taken. FML

I agree, your life sucks 108

You deserved it 659

Family secrets

By periipatetic - 21/01/2025 23:00 - United Kingdom - Birmingham

Today, my father found out that his estranged dad wasn't in jail for driving into a bus lane of people. He just divorced his mum, moved to Kent, and started a new family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 461

You deserved it 74

Fake it til you bake it

By Nathalie01 - 23/01/2025 20:00 - United States - Chattanooga

Today, I surprised my boyfriend by baking him some cookies for the first time. He took a bite and said, "Wow, these taste exactly like the ones my mom used to make!" I couldn't bring myself to admit that I'd used a store-bought mix, because I can’t bake to save my life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 308

You deserved it 197

Yummy

By Anonymous - 03/02/2025 12:00 - United States - Des Moines

Today, I was running late for work and skipped breakfast. At a red light, I noticed a granola bar in my bag and so I took a bite, only to realize it was actually a dog treat I'd stuffed in there days ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 180

You deserved it 453

Ambition

By Anonymous - 13/02/2025 18:00 - United States

Today, I saw my ex, who had dumped me for not being “ambitious” enough. I'd said she was just a gold digger and would die alone. She looked amazing at the fanciest, most expensive restaurant in town, and was celebrating being made partner at her law firm. I was bussing tables. FML

I agree, your life sucks 163

You deserved it 849

Same old, same old

By Anonymous - 19/02/2025 05:00 - United States

Today, it was our 19 year wedding anniversary. When I mentioned this to my husband, all he did was grunt at me and never brought it up again for the rest of the day. I didn't get anything. No flowers, no card, no dinner, nothing. Oh, and I also had to work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 489

You deserved it 188

Must read

By Dating is trash - 24/02/2025 16:00 - United States

Today, I saw the guy I haven’t heard from in a couple of days posting on Instagram. I texted him, “So you can post on social media but can’t text me back?” He replied with a link to a book on Amazon titled “He’s Just Not That Into You: Your Daily Wakeup Call” and said: “Read this and get the hint.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 123

You deserved it 707

Wind? Thief? Hit and run?

By Where is My Tree? - 28/02/2025 03:00 - United States - Bakersfield

Today, I woke up and found that the tree in my front yard was gone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 392

You deserved it 46

Good timing

By Business Mom - 09/03/2025 09:00 - United States - Dallas

Today, I was on a Zoom call with my boss and a client, discussing a new project. My toddler burst into the room and screamed, “Mommy, I shitted in the bathtub!” The camera was on, and I just froze, while my boss tried to hold in his laughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 427

You deserved it 155

The Cure's "Why Can't I Be You?"

By Anonymous - 10/03/2025 22:00 - United States - Edison

Today, I saw this other trans man at college. He comes from a very accepting family, who let him go on testosterone. He’s so handsome, I’m so jealous. I get an ache in my chest when I see him. I can't help but think, "How is this fair? Why can’t I be that handsome?" I feel so disgusting for being jealous of him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 374

You deserved it 466

Simp

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, it was the girl of my dreams' birthday. She already knows I am totally in love with her. So for her birthday I decided to buy her a $60 dollar bottle of rum for her and her friends to have fun with. She picked it up from my house with her new boyfriend waiting in the car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 585

You deserved it 40 194

Outcast

By Anonymous - 09/04/2025 20:00 - United States

Today, I found out the real reason I always had trouble making/keeping friends as a kid and why I wasn’t invited to anything. My parents were aggressive swingers and either successfully fucked, or came on to, every couple wherever we moved. Thanks, you horny bastards. FML

I agree, your life sucks 435

You deserved it 86

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Keywords

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The Top

Today, a four pound can of tuna fell on my head at work, and it burst all over my clothes. Since I'm the manager, I had to stay all day reeking of tuna. Now I'm home, my damn cat won't leave me alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 655

You deserved it 4 441

Today, I walked twenty minutes in rain, winds that almost knocked me over, and face-fulls of stinging hailstones. Less than a minute after I finally got inside, the weather cleared up, the sun came out, and a rainbow appeared. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 823

You deserved it 3 168

Today, I worked up the courage to tell my girlfriend that I love her. She made a face like she'd just sucked on a lemon and said, "Um... yay, I guess...?" and awkwardly left the room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 360

You deserved it 3 040

Today, I was eating in the food court at the mall by myself but then a cute guy from my school offers to sit by me, I say yes of course, he then asks me for a french fry. Later on I realize he has eaten half my meal. He only wanted to sit by me for my food. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 487

You deserved it 6 863

Today, my long distance friend-with-benefits informed me she's now in a relationship with an amazing guy. I should be happier for her, as even I admit he is perfect for her. Too bad I just spent over a thousand dollars on plane tickets to visit her. The tickets are completely nonrefundable. FML

I agree, your life sucks 521

You deserved it 939

Today, I walked into school confident about the new hair color I'd had done over the weekend. My drama teacher apparently dyed her hair the same color; everyone noticed and thought I'd copied her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 740

You deserved it 2 362