The Top

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Music sounds better with you

By Miranda - 06/12/2025 00:00

Today, my crush shared his listening age on Spotify Wrapped, as well as his top artists. We happen to have the same listening age and top artists. Yet he rejected me as a girlfriend because I’m “not his type.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 91

You deserved it 480

Sir, this is a Wendy's

By Anonymous - 11/12/2025 09:00

Today, I've been waiting nearly three days for my Amazon delivery order. I knew that Christmas orders were going to swamp Amazon, so I bought two gift cards and a CD that my mom specifically wanted ahead of time. I purchased them on the 4th to be safe. It's now the 10th, I've been charged, but no sign of my order. FML

I agree, your life sucks 151

You deserved it 243

Heavy sleeper

By Anonymous - 13/12/2025 03:00

Today, I was startled awake by some overzealous do-gooder trying to shove Narcan up my nose. I wasn’t OD’ing. I don’t even do drugs. I’m just an exhausted full-time student with a night job trying to get home on the bus. FML

I agree, your life sucks 389

You deserved it 81

The more you know

By My mouth tastes like blood - 14/12/2025 22:00

Today, I was able to get dental care for the first time in 4 years. I had been going through all the hygiene motions, but without professional input all that time, no one was there to warn me about the sour candies I had been eating, and how they ruined your teeth anyway. My teeth are well beyond salvageable now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 152

You deserved it 383

Pucker up

By It feels fucking awful - 18/12/2025 12:00

Today, on a whim, I decided to try to light a fart on fire. I now know how it feels to take a dump when you have a burn directly on your asshole. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50

You deserved it 633

Shot by both sides

By Anonymous - 21/12/2025 22:00

Today, my girlfriend was too busy having sex with my roommate to notice our accommodation being burgled. So now I don’t have a girlfriend, a rent paying roommate, a television, a PS5 or, for some reason, half of the books from my bookshelf. FML

I agree, your life sucks 271

You deserved it 84

Tough time for the edgelords

By Confused - 29/12/2025 00:00

Today, I have a dilemma. I was really upset when Charlie Kirk was shot, and yelled at people who made fun of his death. However, I find the Kirkification memes edgy and funny, but I can't take part because I would be called out for being a hypocrite or worse. I don't want to get kirked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55

You deserved it 684

Beep beep beep beep

By HateCelebz - 30/12/2025 20:00

Today, I made Christmas dinner. I live in a block of flats, and I was cooking for two hours. The smoke alarm went off after 10 minutes, but it's so high up that I couldn't reach it to turn it off, so I had to fan it off every five minutes, then five minutes later it would go off again, and so on. The neighbors complained. FML

I agree, your life sucks 112

You deserved it 301

Fussy

By annie - 08/01/2025 17:00 - United States

Today, my daughter refuses to make eye contact, won’t eat any of the food I make, and still throws tantrums in middle school. I have no idea where I went wrong raising the brat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 343

You deserved it 330

Biblically plagued

By Anonymous - 11/01/2025 08:00 - New Zealand - Lower Hutt

Today, after a dry spell of a year, I finally managed to get a girl to come over to hook up. Things were going great until we both found out my bed was swarming with ants. I don't know how that could even happen. It's as if God himself is trying to stop me from getting laid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 447

You deserved it 219

Humaaaaaaan! Open the doooooor!

By Is he stupid? - 12/01/2025 08:00 - United States

Today, my dumbass cat won't stop screaming and whining at me because I won't let him go outside. It's winter, and this is the Midwest. He did this without my knowledge once before and had almost frozen to death by the time I figured out where he was. Also, he's too loud for earplugs to drown him out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 357

You deserved it 127

She's lost control again

By Anonymous - 14/01/2025 06:00 - United States - Acton

Today, I seized in the shower, making me trip over the edge of the tub, which is when I then smashed my face against an open toilet and broke my nose. Thank you epilepsy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 585

You deserved it 87

Complaint

By Anonymous - 21/01/2025 11:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I work cleaning houses and a customer submitted a complaint about me to my boss, because he didn’t expect me to use his water from his taps, running up his water bill, which he saw as unfair. What was I supposed to do, bring a water tank with me on my back? Prick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 643

You deserved it 80

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Keywords

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The Top

Today, after I had filled up my car and got into it I saw a cute guy running towards me. I flashed a smile and left the door open and said, "Hey" when he was next to me. He said, "The pump is still attached to your car, you really should be more careful." FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 402

You deserved it 46 657

Today, my cat was hit by a car. I took it to the vet expecting the worst but they told me that she’d be fine. I was so happy I didn't even mind paying the $50 bill. The next morning my cat was dead. Having her put down humanely would have cost $45, I paid $5 extra to have her die in my kitchen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 558

You deserved it 4 331

Today, my mother accused me of being a drama queen when I screamed as she stepped on my foot. I was barefoot and she was wearing boots. One of my toes is swelling and turning purple. FML

I agree, your life sucks 529

You deserved it 92

Today, it was the first time I met my girlfriend's parents. It was also the day that I accidentally ripped their shed's door off its hinges. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 242

You deserved it 594

Today, it's my 25th birthday. I closed at work, not one person wished me happy birthday, no calls or letters from my family. Even my boyfriend of 3 years didn’t remember. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 217

You deserved it 208

Today, while having a break up fight with my fiancée, she informed me that the paternity of our unborn child was in question because one of the other guys couldn't remember if he got off or not. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 519

You deserved it 269