The Top

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Passport bro

By ThaidUp - 31/03/2026 00:00

Today, I realized being a passport bro cost me my life’s savings and $40k credit card debt. I married a beautiful petite Thai girl molded out of my dreams, only for her to tell me six years later that she’s leaving me for her husband in Thailand. She’s a US Citizen now (thanks to me), and is now gonna sponsor him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 107

You deserved it 650

Quality family time

By Anonymous - 02/04/2026 00:00

Today, my mom got angry that I won't give her the funds necessary to send my little brother to military school. She wants to send him because he caught her cheating on our dad and punched her in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 208

You deserved it 30

You'll understand when you're older

By I had no idea I swear!!! - 27/03/2026 20:00

Today, I was told that the cute rhyming nickname I gave to my daughter’s best friend is actually the name of an adult performer. I feel gross, even though I truly had no idea. Now the girl asks me why I don’t call her that anymore and I don’t know what to tell her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 167

You deserved it 69

Damn council!

By Anonymous - 31/03/2026 15:00

Today, I bought my house specifically because it has a long driveway for my work van, but the council just decided to install a raised kerb pedestrian crossing with bollards while I was at work. There is now no way at all to swing my van wide enough to get it onto my driveway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 344

You deserved it 50

Shadowboxing

By Fuck space exploration give me human rights - 02/04/2026 09:00

Today, my whole family was so excited about watching the Artemis II launch and scolded me for not mustering more enthusiasm. Great, we can go to space now… so anytime someone talks about real issues like climate change or racism, we'll hear, "Well just go to space then" or "Space will solve our problems." FML

I agree, your life sucks 13

You deserved it 17

Third or fourth opinion?

By River Maria - 28/03/2026 03:00

Today, after months of being told I have pneumonia by different doctors, I decided to go to another hospital with better staff. There I learned that I will actually need to have open heart surgery to replace two valves in my heart. FML

I agree, your life sucks 386

You deserved it 53

Faux pas

By Anonymous - 29/03/2026 22:00

Today, as a graphic designer, I sent a “final” logo to a client after days of revisions. They replied that they loved it. Five minutes later I saw I'd left a hidden layer visible with a joke note that said “this version is the least ugly one.” I had to send a follow-up email claiming it was “an internal label that accidentally exported.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 81

You deserved it 401

The old banana trick

By Anonymous - 31/03/2026 20:00

Today, something on my car went bang and the whole thing died. I got it towed to a garage and it turns out a great fat rat had gotten stuck in my exhaust, died, and blocked it up. The fumes couldn’t escape and overheated the engine until something blew. FML

I agree, your life sucks 321

You deserved it 42

Mad as snow

By Lucy J - 28/03/2026 09:00

Today, my mom and I were running late for school, and she got pretty stuck in the snow so she asked me to dig her out. Then she ran over my foot. As I got into the car and blamed her for what she'd done, she shouted at me that she couldn't care less, and that we had to hurry. FML

I agree, your life sucks 353

You deserved it 55

Impressive skills

By Anonymous - 30/03/2026 03:00

Today, I tried to impress my date by confidently parallel parking on a busy street. I hit the curb twice, stalled the car, and somehow set off my alarm. Then I locked the keys inside while it screamed. We stood there in silence while people watched. FML

I agree, your life sucks 111

You deserved it 403

Assumptions

By Anonymous - 31/03/2026 22:00

Today, I discovered my sister's fiance's name multiple times in the guestbooks of the hotel I work at, each time with a different woman, so I told her and she dumped him. It turns out it was a guy who had the same name, but it wasn't him. He won't take her back, and now she hates me. I thought I was being a good sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 106

You deserved it 544

Cost effective

By Anonymous - 28/03/2026 15:00

Today, I got into yet another fight with my wife because I keep telling her Los Angeles is too expensive and that we need to move somewhere cheaper. But she won't listen. She keeps saying all these high prices are going to blow up in the government's faces. I agree, they probably are, but when? Tomorrow? FML

I agree, your life sucks 351

You deserved it 65

Love and marriage

By Anonymous - 01/04/2026 03:00

Today, I woke up realizing my wife of less than a year of marriage wants a divorce. We have known each other for 15 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 300

You deserved it 59

Great start to the day

By Anonymous - 30/03/2026 12:00

Today, right before a job interview, I spilled hot coffee all over my lap. The stain looked incredibly suspicious. During the interview, the recruiter kept glancing down awkwardly while I tried to maintain eye contact and confidence. FML

I agree, your life sucks 274

You deserved it 67

RIP Travis

By Fucking shithead asshole - 30/03/2026 15:00

Today, I came home to my daughter in her room, crying hysterically. She's been asking for a pet monkey for a few weeks, and my husband got tired of it and told her about Travis the Chimpanzee (don't look it up if you're squeamish). Thanks for ruining her innocence, prick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 108

You deserved it 344

Kinda based

By Anonymous - 01/04/2026 09:00

Today, a woman accused my husband of being a pedophile because he was at the playground with our daughter alone. To make matters worse, our daughter punched the woman in the face, so now she's pressing charges. FML

I agree, your life sucks 349

You deserved it 45

Been there, done that

By Anonymous - 01/04/2026 12:00

Today, my parents told me that they don't respect my decision to stay single for the rest of my life and never date again, and have made it clear they will continue pressuring me to find someone new. I'm only 27 and I've already been both widowed and divorced. I'm done. FML

I agree, your life sucks 358

You deserved it 75

Sparkles 4 U

By Anonymous - 29/03/2026 00:00

Today, in addition to no smoking and no pets, I now have to add NO FUCKING GLITTER to my Airbnb listing. The last fuckers left my place sparkling like a gang of fairies had an orgy in every goddamn room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 366

You deserved it 144

Mind your own business

By Anonymous - 30/03/2026 20:00

Today, I found out that my parents are in trouble because they left me home alone for almost two weeks (I'm 16) and my Karen neighbor found out and called social services. FML

I agree, your life sucks 405

You deserved it 55

Industrious

By Anonymous - 01/04/2026 15:00

Today, my ex, who only came back into our kids' lives a year ago, is bitching and moaning he can’t teach our son anything because he's already taught it to himself with DIY instructional YouTube videos. Did he really think our son was going to wait four years to learn to use a drill or buzz saw? FML

I agree, your life sucks 227

You deserved it 53

Gimme my money

By PrettyGirlCrookedMouth - 27/03/2026 09:00

Today, someone was sent to our house to fix our broken garage door. Mom asked me to pay for it, telling me she'd pay me back this weekend. It was supposed to be about $300 and some change. The door was so broken, it ended up costing $1000, cleaning out my whole savings account. FML

I agree, your life sucks 377

You deserved it 56

Music is music

By So boringgggggggg - 27/03/2026 12:00

Today, over the last year, my husband has gone from listening to normal people music to constantly listening to boring classical music thanks to his new coworkers. We went to a work party and he spent half the time debating dead white composer men. LISTEN TO REAL MUSIC, YOU WEIRDO! FML

I agree, your life sucks 74

You deserved it 913

Scared flaccid

By Anonymous - 01/04/2026 20:00

Today, my boyfriend met my dad and my brother, and is now shit scared of them. I was hoping to lose my virginity to him this weekend but he’s so scared of what my dad would do if he ever found out that he couldn’t get hard no matter what I did. Thanks a lot dad, you bastard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 86

You deserved it 42

Secrets and lies

By Nicky - 27/03/2026 15:00

Today, my husband had a 'come to Jesus' moment where he confessed he has been lying to me our entire marriage about everything, from relationships with women I have suspected to what he ate for lunch. He does not know why he lies about the little things, he said he wants to "know something that you don't." FML

I agree, your life sucks 395

You deserved it 54

Take the W

By Anonymous - 29/03/2026 09:00

Today, in an argument with her mother, my girlfriend told her she doesn’t want to marry a tall, attractive, successful man because she wants to marry me. I know what she meant but I’m still struggling not to feel upset by the comparison. FML

I agree, your life sucks 366

You deserved it 83

Sick

By Nicky - 31/03/2026 03:00

Today, my husband was sick so we ordered out and watched a baseball game. He dozed while I did chores and listened. Near the end of the game, I sat down with my phone to look at pics of the protests. He told me to put my phone down. He was furious. I "don't respect him" and I "make him feel small in our marriage." FML

I agree, your life sucks 441

You deserved it 63

No more bring your kids to work days

By BadMom - 01/04/2026 22:00

Today, I took my 6 year-old to work. A normally docile child, she chased me around with her toy - beating me with it while all my colleagues watched - not stopping despite me requesting her to. When she finally lost said toy, she threw a huge tantrum. Guess who's banned from my office. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39

You deserved it 260

Classic

By Anonymous - 29/03/2026 12:00

Today, I got a strand of dental floss stuck in my teeth. The only thing that hurts more than my mouth is the irony. FML

I agree, your life sucks 262

You deserved it 60

Surely there's a conversation to be had

By Anonymous - 29/03/2026 15:00

Today, I asked my wife for a divorce because her kids hate my son and are horrible to him because they don't like that he has a dad and they don't. She's my soulmate and the love of my life, but I can't do this to him anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 552

You deserved it 79

Life is pain and suffering

By Anonymous - 31/03/2026 09:00

Today, when my sore right hip that I had finally started to feel a little bit better, I banged my right knee on the bookshelf that sticks out just a bit to the side of the doorway as I enter my room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 239

You deserved it 68

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The Top

Today, my sister got me in deep trouble at the store I worked security for. She "dropped by to say hi" and stole a bunch of things when I wasn't looking. I wasn't arrested, due to lack of any evidence. But my boss didn't care about evidence and fired me anyway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 759

You deserved it 2 060

Today, at the bank, my 8-year-old son decided to pull out realistic looking toy gun, and scream "FREEZE! Give me all your money!" The dim-witted bank teller pressed the silent alarm, and I was nearly arrested. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 553

You deserved it 31 433

Today, whilst babysitting, I broke a glass. I explained to the kid that it was very important not to walk barefoot around where it had happened, because of the tiny bits of glass. He jumped back, scared, and while doing so tripped. I rushed to help him and ran through the broken glass. Barefoot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 378

You deserved it 12 883

Today, my mum decided to teach me a lesson about carelessly leaving my wallet about. She left it on the floor so our puppy could use it and its contents as a chew toy. I was almost impressed to discover that he can eat three £20 notes and still have room for debit cards. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 069

You deserved it 9 134

Today, my parents took me on a plane ride for a vacation in Hong Kong. What they didn't tell me was that the "vacation" is extended for three years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 823

You deserved it 3 348

Today, my bandmates showed up to our gig drunk. Our drummer kept losing the rhythm and the lead guitarist was more concerned about staying drunk than playing the right notes. In the middle of a song, they both gave up, put down their instruments, and kept sipping a beer, while at least cheering me on while I finished it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 196

You deserved it 139