The Top

Hey, guys, OP here. I'm not even sure if I'm following up correctly, but here goes. My sister is almost 9, and I pissed her off because I didn't want to go to her softball scrimmage (yep, scrimmage not game) because I was going to Six Flags with my school. Apparently, this warranted her putting cat shit on my bookshelf/nightstand. Props to her, it was the worst thing to come home to ever. I didn't prank her back, she's 8. I did take away the pooper scooper though, lol

Get me the manager

By WhyMe - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I called the car repair shop to complain to the manager about their tow driver who keeps making sexual passes at me. The girl taking my call started crying and said that their driver was her husband. I'm being sexually harassed, my car is dead, and I think I just ended a marriage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 239

You deserved it 4 434

Classic Dave

By Sarahir - 29/04/2020 05:00

Today, I walked in on my husband masturbating into the kitchen sink. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 231

You deserved it 411

By Anonymous - 04/07/2018 19:00

Today, after planning 4 months in advance and spending almost $600 to cover everyone's tickets to the event center, all of my siblings decided to bail on my 30th birthday celebration because driving 3 hours is too much. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 296

You deserved it 374

By blondessdoll - 04/05/2016 17:30 - United States

Today, when getting my eyebrows waxed, the lady cursed "oh shit!" under her breath, right after waxing half of my brow off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 846

You deserved it 1 112

Hey… you

By HOLY SHIT, A WALKING SNOWGLOBE - 09/12/2012 21:52 - United Kingdom - Dagenham

Today, I went on a blind date. My date turned out to be very hot, and I had high hopes. That is, until she ran her hand through her hair as she approached, sending some kind of horrifying, miasmic mist of dandruff and dead skin floating through the air behind her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 206

You deserved it 8 146

What a charmer

By Anonymous - 30/05/2020 23:05

Today, after surgery on Monday, I can’t do much because of where my scars are until they heal. My husband won’t clean the house at all, dishes are all over my kitchen bar, laundry is all piled up by the washing machine. When I asked for help, he said it’s not his job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 301

You deserved it 586

Not sure that's how it works

By Julisna - 16/09/2021 20:00

Today, after getting sick of my boyfriend pestering me for a threesome, I invited a male friend over. My boyfriend strongly declined, because, "Hell no, I ain’t gay." So this man expects me to be a lesbian, but him being gay is a problem. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 785

You deserved it 339

By Anonymous - 19/08/2018 20:30

Today, I was diagnosed with a tumor and had to cancel on the holidays with my crush of 4 years. He is taking another girl with him instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 517

You deserved it 207

By ladylol - 24/11/2012 13:54 - United Kingdom - Towcester

Today, I asked my boyfriend if he'd rather play the new Assassin's Creed game or have a night of sex with me. He started crying from indecision. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 206

You deserved it 12 539

Theater kid issues

By Belle - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - United States - Berwyn

Today, all of the long hours I've spent rehearsing paid off because tonight I'll be the lead at the opening show of my school musical. This is a dream come true. Too bad I just got bronchitis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 768

You deserved it 1 460

It's Cat-Dog!

By Deceptive Dog 1242 - 23/08/2018 14:30 - United States

Today, I pulled something out of my tiny six month-old puppy's mouth, thinking it was a cord that he had gotten ahold of. As it turns out, it was a baby mouse he had caught and killed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 433

You deserved it 288

By justme - 02/11/2013 13:21 - United States - Alliance

Today, while driving in the car with my father, he handed me his iPhone and asked me to Google "Is ObamaCare good for our country?" As soon as I typed in "Is", the first result was "Is olive oil good for anal." FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 906

You deserved it 6 055

Celebration

By worksucks,Iknow. - 30/08/2018 15:00

Today, it's my first anniversary of being a manager. It also marks a 12-month period of 30% loss in monthly income, combined with 30+ hours/month of overtime. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 590

You deserved it 452

Am I being detained?

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - Canada - Chilliwack

Today, a police car hit my parked vehicle, likely due to icy road conditions. When the officer came over to talk to me, I assumed it was to give me his insurance information. Nope. It was to give me a ticket for "impeding a police officer." My car was in my driveway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 629

You deserved it 2 637

Thanks, I'm cured!

By fuauntflo - 07/07/2020 17:01

Today, I went to the ER because of an intensely heavy flow. They kept me waiting so long that, although I was wearing a super absorbent tampon and a pad, I still bled through three times. When I was finally seen, the doctor said, "Try using a higher absorbency and follow up with your regular physician." FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 184

You deserved it 199

Leave me alone

By re2K5 - 25/07/2009 16:39 - Korea Republic of

Today, I passed a homeless person asking for change. When I politely apologized and told him that I had none, he yelled angrily, "Who comes to this city without money?" I replied, "Apparently, you do." Wrong answer. He followed me, now screaming. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 210

You deserved it 28 656

Live from Salt Lake City

By Anonymous - 20/07/2020 20:02

Today, I’m in a polyamorous relationship with my husband and another woman. She has anger issues and has been very abusive to me, and finally told my husband she wants to break up with me. Not him... just me. She’s still sleeping in our bed with him, and I’m sleeping on the couch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 069

You deserved it 3 395

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

Today, I finished a huge project for work. It took 3+ days and I was very proud of it. Except when I submitted it to my boss, he said that he'd already asked another person to do it. He used that person's project, not mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 256

You deserved it 375

Today, during a small argument over clothes of all things, I totally lost my temper and broke up with my boyfriend. He is refusing to take me back and I’m now screwed as his wage paid about 60% of our joint bills. I may lose my flat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 140

You deserved it 2 461

Today, my mother yelled and yelled at me until I apologized to our cat for not petting him when he sat on my lap. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 092

You deserved it 5 699

Today, and for a while, I’ve noticed one of my closest friends getting a little to friendly with my boyfriend. Maybe I’m just reading too far into it, but then again maybe I’m not? I really want to be wrong about this and I’m pretty sure he would never hurt me, but I’m scared something’s going on that I don’t know about. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 014

You deserved it 297

Today, I went to deliver some reports to my boss in his office. He was facing away from me and ranting about his "useless employees", so I slipped in and waited for him to put the phone down. Turns out he was talking to himself. When he noticed me, he bitched me out and threatened to fire me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 499

You deserved it 4 226

Today, I ran out of toilet paper in the bathroom. I was forced to use tissues to do the job. As if that wasn't bad enough, the sanitizer in the tissues gave me a rash that made me have to stand up frequently in the lecture hall. Several people asked if I had Tourette's. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 086

You deserved it 4 363