The Top

The most agreed on FMLs The most commented on FMLs The most favorited

The top of the day The top of the week The top of the month The top of the year The all-time greatest FMLs

By Gaylord - 28/04/2016 02:17 - United States - Aspers

Today, I realized that my somewhat flamboyant behavior may have given people the wrong impression when my classmate tried to set me up with one of her male friends. I've been trying to work up the courage to ask her out all semester. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 828

You deserved it 2 200

Breaking news

By Katrina - 13/02/2011 22:32 - United States

Today, I was busily having fun with my girlfriend, when suddenly the bedroom door opened and a man walked in, picked me up, and threw me outside the apartment. I was naked and didn't even know she was into men, much less had a husband. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 736

You deserved it 9 610

By anonymous - 29/03/2016 22:50 - United Kingdom - Oxford

Today, while riding my bike in the rain to a counselling appointment about my depression, my shoelace came untied and got caught around my pedal, causing me to go flying off my bike directly in a huge muddy puddle right in front of a busy street of people. No one offered to help me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 159

You deserved it 1 718

By Mmkay1515 - 13/11/2012 03:47 - United States - Plainfield

Today, my brother decided to join me on my first date. Not only did he answer the door with a bat, he also got inside the car and sat next to my date, pushing me to the back. He stayed the entire time, and walked me back to the house. My mom laughed and gave him $20. It was a dare. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 643

You deserved it 2 705

Mmkay1515 tells us more.

Mmkay1515 21

Tuesday 13 November 2012 21:32

Perhaps I should clarify here, for all of those that are wondering. I did, in fact, tell my brother various times to leave. I even tried to ditch him a couple of times Clearly you underestimate the power of an over protective older brother who is being offered money.

When nature calls

By ClaraB - 11/10/2021 23:01

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend in a bathroom stall. Someone’s little brat had to come in and peek under the stall. She yelled, "Mommy there are two naked people in here!" Her mother bitched us out for, “ruining her daughter’s innocence." The cops were called. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 486

You deserved it 6 120

Just a prank, again

By momaaa1342 - 21/10/2013 03:51 - United States - Elmwood

Today, I got a call from my daughter’s school today. She had been telling the teacher, "I have a huge boner." Apparently, some of the kids at school told her it meant 'headache' and she's been saying it all day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 753

You deserved it 3 610

Quack

By Anonymous - 25/03/2016 03:14 - New Zealand - Takanini

Today, I went to the doctor's after over a week of feeling extremely tired and having headaches. His advice? "When I'm tired I drink coffee. You should drink coffee." Somehow, I don't think that was worth $60. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 714

You deserved it 1 594

By 2k16 - 17/03/2016 02:48 - Canada - Ottawa

Today, I came home to find that my dog had figured out how to open the fridge again. He'd helped himself to raw eggs and crab. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 844

You deserved it 1 688

Thanks for the wording, dude

By Bex - 15/03/2016 07:27 - United States - San Francisco

Today, in front of a group of family, friends, and acquaintances, a guy I hadn't talked to in about two years asked me how rehab was going. In the monstrous silence that followed, I had to awkwardly explain that I work at a nursing home that also functions as a rehabilitation center. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 575

You deserved it 1 526

Hey there!

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States - San Antonio

Today, I accidentally texted a picture of my cock to my dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 631

You deserved it 86 938

By JordanVilleneuve - 28/01/2011 03:35 - Canada

Today, I went to the park and sat down on a bench to enjoy my coffee. I heard a few young girls behind me talking about how their first experience of sex was. I turned around to see how old these girls really were. One of them was my daughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 64 353

You deserved it 7 555

Mint taste

By jeffcarp - 17/12/2019 14:00 - Italy - Cesenatico

Today, my wife stopped mid blowjob because it tasted too clean, like my mint shower gel. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 851

You deserved it 280

What's that?

By Best-stuf-on-Earth - 12/07/2009 07:07 - United States

Today, I had a check-up with my dermatologist. When I took off my pants, she noticed a small mark on my penis and was concerned. I had to inform her that it was not in fact a mole, but a bruise from getting it stuck in a Snapple bottle two days prior to the check-up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 373

You deserved it 78 528

By Anonymous - 05/03/2016 05:57 - United States - Hudsonville

Today, my dad thought it was perfectly acceptable to ask my girlfriend how many guys she screwed before me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 120

You deserved it 1 798

By Anonymous - 06/10/2018 17:30

Today, my husband cancelled our internet and cable package because we’re having money problems. I work from home and need the internet to do so. I guess getting a job of his own wasn’t an option. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 863

You deserved it 336

I'll leave you to it then…

By scared shitless in ohio - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States - Dublin

Today, I decided to be friendly and say hi to the weird kid at school, who was sitting by himself eating lunch. After I said hello, he stared up at me intensely and said, "I don't have many friends. Yeah. Mainly 'cause I've eaten most of them." FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 335

You deserved it 5 650

Experimentation

By Anonymous - 12/10/2012 23:39 - United States - Salem

Today, I walked in on my brother sticking his erect penis through a donut. I doubt I'll ever be able to unsee this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 898

You deserved it 3 414

By Anonymous - 15/01/2011 07:09 - United States

Today, I came to the conclusion that you should always tell the truth. While I was busy reassuring her that the condom didn't break, she was telling me how it was okay because she was on the pill. According to the pregnancy test, we both lied. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 785

You deserved it 53 717

By Le Dookie - 19/10/2018 15:00 - United States - Sugar Land

Today, I got denied a refund for my dream coffee machine. I've overdrafted my bank account to buy it on Offer Up for an excellent price, but USPS delivered the package to a wrong address. Someone got it for free. Offer Up won't refund me because it says "delivered" on the tracking page. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 320

You deserved it 780

Love hurts

By Sam - 27/08/2020 23:02 - Canada

Today, I was diagnosed with a condition where blood vessels in my brain spasm just before orgasm, resulting in me getting a wicked migraine that lasts for days. The only cure? No more orgasms. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 625

You deserved it 140

Statistics

By Anonymous - 09/09/2020 05:01 - Italy

Today, I found out that my 7 friends, with a total of 23 past boyfriends in 11 years, have had 0 orgasms during sex. As someone whose sex ed was basically porn, it felt like finding out Santa wasn't real, but worse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 573

You deserved it 519

OKAAAAAAAY

By Awkward - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my boyfriend took me to meet his friends at one of his exclusive "clubs." Expecting it to be his old friends from college, I agreed to go. Apparently, I've been dating a member of the Ku Klux Klan for 2 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 71 436

You deserved it 8 140

Catchy

By Apcn - 05/06/2014 20:05 - France - Concarneau

Today, my boyfriend bought yet another video game and played it all afternoon. Unlike me, our parrot is taking this situation rather well - for the past two hours he's been repeating, over and over, "EA Sports, it's in the game." FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 072

You deserved it 5 881

By SirDirtyRedD - 25/01/2014 01:03 - Iceland - Reykjav

Today, I found my little brother breathing heavily and asked him what he was doing. He looked at me intensely and said "Breathing in all the oxygen so you can't have any and die." 5ML

I agree, your life sucks 55 795

You deserved it 5 178

By Oops - 14/01/2010 15:55 - United States

Today, while at work at a maternity and baby clothes store, I was supposed to send out an email about our "Beat the Clock" sale. After it was sent to over 500 people, I realized that I'd misspelled the subject line. It read, "Beat the Cock Sale." FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 794

You deserved it 33 098

By Unlucky taxi driver - 08/11/2018 14:00

Today, a passenger in my taxi left without paying. They left their phone, so I posted a message about it from their social media, exposing them. Turns out they'd stolen the phone from someone else. I ended up getting arrested. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 504

You deserved it 568

By crinitis - 28/01/2016 16:05 - Canada - Ancaster

Today, I found out my parents only had me in an attempt to fix their relationship. It didn't work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 095

You deserved it 1 392

By Anonymous - 12/05/2009 17:39 - United States

Today, I took a call. Wrong number. A few seconds later, they called back and I told her that she had the wrong number. She said she just hit redial and didn't understand how she got me again. I tried to explain how redial works. She called me a moron and hung up. Then my phone rang again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 109 988

You deserved it 6 118

By Anonymous - 13/01/2016 07:46 - Netherlands - Overveen

Today, I dreamed a rat crawled up from the toilet and attacked me. Now I'm afraid to even enter the bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 221

You deserved it 3 783

Are you?

By lxygrl - 20/07/2019 13:07 - United States - Phenix City

Today, I was told I have kidney stones, kidney infections, and a bladder infection and that I have to get admitted into the hospital. I let my boss know, and she replied, "But you're still coming in for your shift tonight, right?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 348

You deserved it 136

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

Today, it's the Halloween after my wife and I moved into a predominantly Muslim neighborhood. We waited for three hours with a big bowl of Snickers, before the restaurant owner downstairs told us no one would come because Muslims don’t celebrate Halloween. FML

I agree, your life sucks 556

You deserved it 902

Today, my boyfriend is sulking because he actually thought two weeks paternity leave was going to be our new baby sleeping 18 hours a day while he played his Xbox, and get paid not to go to work every day. He was wrong, it’s been three days, and he’s exhausted already and whining. FML

I agree, your life sucks 938

You deserved it 255

Today, I decided to surprise my girlfriend by showing up at her place with flowers and dinner. She opened the door wearing pajamas… and standing next to her was another guy wearing the same pajamas. They both looked at me like I was the intruder. FML

I agree, your life sucks 555

You deserved it 75

Today, my mom texted me, “Sweetie, I found something weird in your laundry basket.” My mind raced through every possible embarrassing scenario. I called her in panic, and she said, “Why are there 18 single socks?” I’ve never been so relieved to be messy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 199

You deserved it 104

Today, the modeling program I'm required to use for school started inexplicably crashing. Reinstalling doesn't even fix it. The company that owns the software doesn't provide students with tech support, and my teacher just told me I won't pass if I can't fix it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 128

You deserved it 155

Today, I introduced my girlfriend to my mom. The first thing my mom did was look at her breasts and mention that no matter what happens, hers were the first that I suckled on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 305

You deserved it 4 020