The Top

The most agreed on FMLs The most commented on FMLs The most favorited

The top of the day The top of the week The top of the month The top of the year

The all-time greatest FMLs

QUIET!

By Janey - 17/12/2025 09:00

Today, I snuck a snack into a library study hall. One tiny crinkle of the wrapper and every head turned like I’d detonated a siren. I tried to nibble silently, misjudged the crunch, dropped the pack, and it performed an encore. The professor glared at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 67

You deserved it 516

Impeccable timing

By drugs - 01/12/2023 15:00 - United States

Today, I came home, raced upstairs, and yelled to my roomie that I'd found some blow for the party tonight. It was only after he left his room and punched me that I remembered he had a virtual interview today. FML

I agree, your life sucks 67

You deserved it 1 236

Anger management issues, sir?

By Anonymous - 25/08/2024 14:00 - United States

Today, I yelled at my girlfriend because I thought she'd thrown away an important form I needed to fill out. I found it a few minutes later, just stuck to the back of another piece of paper. After apologizing for getting mad, all she said was, "I'm used to it." FML

I agree, your life sucks 67

You deserved it 1 160

Be careful what you wish for

By Anonymous - 01/08/2026 12:00 - United States

Today, I finally gave into a kink I wanted to try out. I asked my boyfriend to send freaky voice clips of him barking and whimpering. He actually did it, and It immediately gave me the biggest ick. I am now stuck with his horrible "sexy" barking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 67

You deserved it 405

You never know what you got until it's gone

By JustAFool - 31/10/2023 05:56

Today, I got my heart torn into a million pieces by a girl once again. Four times in a row. I went to hit up the girl I stupidly friendzoned many times. She's lost weight, is married, and is pregnant with their first child. FML

I agree, your life sucks 67

You deserved it 1 474

Literally #FAFO

By Anonymous - 12/07/2026 00:00 - United States - Santa Ana

Today, I’ve been in mama bear mode, fiercely defending my 20 year-old son against several slanderous paternity claims. Good news; one test came back negative. Bad news; five others came back positive. Now none of the girls wants me to see my grandchildren because I sided with my boy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66

You deserved it 959

Lazy sod

By Anonymous - 09/01/2025 09:00 - Canada

Today, I emailed my professor to explain why I hadn't turned in the assignment I've been procrastinating doing, claiming I was sick. I attached a picture of my "medicine" for proof. I accidentally sent him a photo of tequila shots. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66

You deserved it 932

Stable genius

By Evelyn - 05/07/2026 15:00 - Canada - Dunsford

Today, I was trying to get a tan on my grandma's back yard with my shirt off, and I was sure that she was sleeping. Ten minutes in, she wanted to know what I was doing while she got on her phone, and I got embarrassed because I thought she was sleeping, but she was standing RIGHT THERE. I HATE EVERYTHING. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66

You deserved it 410

Complaint

By Anonymous - 11/10/2025 00:00

Today, I sent a voice memo to my best friend complaining about how annoying my coworker is, especially her weird fake laugh. I hit send and immediately realized I’d sent it to the coworker in question. Her response? A single voice memo of her doing that exact laugh. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66

You deserved it 715

Morning joe

By Christine.T - 27/08/2024 06:00 - United States - Boston

Today, I stopped at the coffee shop before work and confidently ordered "my usual." The barista looked confused but nodded. When my drink came, it was completely wrong. Turns out, I was in the wrong coffee shop. I was too embarrassed to correct them, so I drank a weird matcha-pumpkin spice sludge. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66

You deserved it 808

Get a load of this guy

By Anonymous - 31/08/2025 20:00 - United States - Bel Air

Today, I am smarter, cooler, better and more mature than everyone else by a huge margin. Anyone who refuses to accept this objective fact is a moron. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66

You deserved it 929

Damn, son…

By Anonymous - 31/05/2024 12:00 - United States - Lafayette

Today, my anger issues reached their worst after a horrible day at work. I kicked my girlfriend out of our apartment because I smelled another man's cologne when I came home. The "cologne" was a scented candle that she had burning while I was gone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66

You deserved it 1 415

Tech bro

By Pauly - 16/10/2025 09:00

Today, I was showing my new “smart home” setup to my friends. I said, “Alexa, dim the lights.” Nothing happened. So, louder: “ALEXA, DIM THE LIGHTS.” Still nothing. I kept yelling, getting increasingly dramatic, until one of my friends said, “Bro, your Alexa is unplugged.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 66

You deserved it 526

Ironic if true

By Nononono - 03/02/2026 09:00

Today, I made a move on a male friend that I’ve been crushing on and he rejected me saying we should just stay friends. I told him that he was so mean. He replied, “How am I mean? I’m just not that into you, just like you’re just not that into our friend who worships the ground you walk on.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 66

You deserved it 1 145

Flustered

By Bradley is alone - 09/11/2025 09:00

Today, while walking my dog, I saw a hot guy so I tried to look chill. My dog chose that exact moment to take an enormous dump. I didn’t have any bags. The dude stared while I pretended to check my phone until he walked off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66

You deserved it 572

Thick ear

By why - 23/06/2024 12:00 - United States

Today, I made fun of a crazy-looking woman at the park. The man next to me turned out to be her husband, and he dragged me by my ear over to apologize to her. My friends are still laughing at me and my ear is swollen to twice the usual size. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66

You deserved it 1 267

You fool

By Anonymous - 25/10/2024 12:00 - Germany - Hamburg

Today, my wife and I both spent a weekend away separately with our close friends. However, we ran into each other, unplanned, at the airport. She was with her girls and I was with my girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66

You deserved it 1 870

Panic mode

By Dumb girl - 12/07/2026 09:00 - United States - New York

Today, I locked my keys in the house. I panicked so hard and immediately started kicking the door, desperate to get my keys. My boyfriend, who I forgot was staying over, woke up and opened the door right as I kicked it, and the door smashed into his face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65

You deserved it 477

Bowler

By Gutter - 14/06/2026 12:00 - United States - Reno

Today, after I'd spent two weeks convincing my friends I could definitely beat them at bowling, on the first throw of the night, I slipped, launched the ball into the gutter three feet in front of me, and somehow pulled a muscle in my back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65

You deserved it 404

Self-awareness Day

By Luciano - 11/08/2026 20:00 - United States

Today, my coworker is two months pregnant. I used condoms with her every time, so I’m not sure how the fuck it happened. I’m the only man she’s been with. I tried to give her money for an abortion but she insists on keeping it. She knows damn well I have a real wife and kids, and I can’t afford to lose them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65

You deserved it 899

Toxic

By DontheRon - 26/03/2026 20:00

Today, I reported the girl I like’s new boyfriend to be trespassed from our workplace for being disruptive. I’m sick of him coming in and bringing her lunch and acting lovey dovey. My plan successfully worked, he is no longer welcome on the premises, but now half the office hates me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 64

You deserved it 1 240

Small talk

By Rob - 24/09/2025 20:00

Today, I was in an elevator with a bunch of people in suits. It was so quiet, I tried to break the ice by joking, “So… who farted?” The doors opened immediately and everyone walked out without a word. I was left alone in my own shame. FML

I agree, your life sucks 64

You deserved it 622

Nothing to do with us

By ticker $fml - 12/07/2024 20:00 - United States

Today, after I lost $5000 in crypto yesterday, I'm now down about $150k total since the start of the year. I just deployed more and bought $FML to make up for the losses. Hopefully it’ll happen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 64

You deserved it 954

Woof

By Anonymous - 16/09/2024 06:00 - United States - Salisbury

Today, I woke up with pink eye. Trying to avoid going to the doctor, I searched through my cabinet for an old RX of antibiotic eyedrops. I found a tube of antibiotic ointment labeled “For optic use only.” Only after putting in my eye did I Google what it was: Dog eye ointment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 64

You deserved it 723

Pizza is pizza

By Terri - 01/08/2025 22:00 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I tried to reheat some leftover pizza in the microwave but forgot to take the plastic wrap off. The microwave filled with smoke, and the plastic melted onto the pizza. I ate burnt plastic-flavored pizza for lunch, because pizza is pizza and I couldn't bring myself to through it away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 64

You deserved it 683

Busted

By Anonymous - 18/05/2025 12:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my boss caught me coming to work late. I panicked and told him I’d been there all day. He knows I do a lot of editing for Wikipedia, so he actually found my publicly listed edits showing I’d been publishing edits from my normal account, i.e. my home PC, when I should have been at work. Oops. FML

I agree, your life sucks 64

You deserved it 955

Mr Bean

By Anonymous - 09/04/2025 15:00 - United States

Today, I was at a work lunch, and the waiter brought me a soda I hadn’t ordered. I thought it was a free mistake, so I took a sip. It was actually my boss’s drink. As soon as I noticed, I tried to give it back, but he just stared at me and said, "It’s fine. I’ve already seen you drink it now." FML

I agree, your life sucks 64

You deserved it 485

Stoking too close to the sun

By Anonymous - 16/11/2024 22:00 - United States

Today, I was stoked to show my new car to my friends that I pulled into the parking lot a bit too fast, attempting to look cool. I accidentally hit the curb and ended up scratching the entire front bumper on a trash can that I didn't see. Now I have a busted up bumper, and my friends will probably never let me forget it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63

You deserved it 777

Busted

By Kameron - 20/03/2024 20:00 - United States

Today, my mom found out that I’ve been faking my exam grades, turning my 30s to 80s and 40s to 90s on the paper exams. She got access to my online student portal and saw my real grades. I'm grounded for the rest of the school year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63

You deserved it 1 691

You only know what you've got when it's gone

By Anonymous - 21/08/2024 12:00 - Mongolia - Ulan Bator

Today, I broke my own no contact rule with my ex, begging him to come back. He simply replied, "Stop begging. It's over." FML

I agree, your life sucks 63

You deserved it 858

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Birthday Family Cute Friends Relatable My ex I need your advice Love NSFW Awkward Sex Intimacy Scary Technology Annoying Work Money Capitalism Embarrassing Divorce Education Health Sports Abuse Kids Hospital Wanker Addiction Management

The Top

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex. After a while, he started staring at my lady parts, and said my "vag looks like a mockingjay". He then stretched the lips apart like wings and made little "CA-CAW CA-CAW!" sounds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 636

You deserved it 10 037

Today, I came home to find my girlfriend crying. Concerned, I quickly asked her what was wrong. She told me tearfully that she couldn't understand why her pet lizards hadn’t grown into dinosaurs yet, and that pet store had cheated her. I’m still concerned now, but for entirely different reasons. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 607

You deserved it 4 361

Today, I was running on a soccer field and accidentally dropped my gum from my mouth. No one had noticed so I picked it up and started chewing again. It was a different flavor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 471

You deserved it 87 902

Today, we got new seats in my English class; I was seated next to a boy that I don't know very well. When I sat down, he informed me that he is "opposed" to brushing his teeth. I thought he was kidding. Then he started breathing with his mouth open. These are our seats for the rest of the year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 812

You deserved it 115

Today, I learned that because I clean everything in my roommate's house and keep the lights low to save energy, and respect him and do things in the proper way I was raised, he and his friends and girlfriend think I’m weird and won’t speak to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 778

You deserved it 279

Today, my husband warned me we had a yellowjacket swarm move into our basement. He wasn't kidding. I'm phobic after I was swarmed as a kid, I'm watching our bug zapper literally smoke with how many it's killing, and my can of wasp spray seems woefully insufficient. They can have the house! FML

I agree, your life sucks 622

You deserved it 134