By notawizard - 16/07/2009 10:16 - Spain
The Top
By mee - 30/11/2011 06:43 - Canada
Rollercoaster
By thathoe - 13/11/2021 02:00 - United States - Cloquet
By Hatilic_ - 14/06/2019 20:00
Misunderstood
By Anonymous - 14/11/2021 17:00
By MovingOut - 16/01/2015 01:21 - Saint Vincent and the Grenadines
I don't get paid enough for this shit
By pancakessdsjsn - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States - Lake Forest
Sorry
By cheated - 23/11/2011 17:03 - United States
Who am I?
By BadFather - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - Australia
Come again
By Anonymous - 09/07/2009 07:35
Apocalypse Now
By dacara6415 - 26/08/2020 14:01 - United States
By shootme - 13/11/2011 22:46 - Canada
By CK95 - 01/01/2015 23:02 - United States
By LolAtMyPosts - 15/09/2013 18:04 - Canada - Halifax
LolAtMyPosts tells us more.
By Somethingtoworryabout - 26/10/2018 22:00
Reflex
By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States
First and last
By hannaholic - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States
Fiancé of the year
By Anonymous - 13/09/2020 17:01 - United States - Saint Joseph
By Liz - 01/07/2009 17:41 - United States
By tal - 22/08/2012 09:57 - France
By Anonymous - 04/10/2009 01:03 - United States
By myownperson - 25/10/2011 08:17 - United States
By elissak - 07/12/2014 06:58 - United States - Dubuque
elissak tells us more.
Hey all! OP here. A longer version of the story... I was on a first date when I saw a man at another table panic, get up from his table, and start running toward the back. I was taught this is a common sign of someone choking, so I went after him without thinking (my poor date!). I caught him right before the bathrooms and had him calm enough for a moment to dislodge the lobster. He was very thankful at the time. Around twenty minutes later when his table got the bill, he made a special trip over to my table to get in my face and started yelling about how I cost him this otherworldly amount of money because he couldn't get that lobster back. I had considered opening my purse and pulling out some monopoly money to pay for his meal (yes, I keep monopoly money on me), but I thought that might have been a little cruel or in poor taste, so I simply stared at him until he walked away. My date and I laughed about it for the rest of dinner, and it's definitely a tale getting added to my arsenal of stories. No harm done!
By SlappyMcGee - 08/01/2010 00:19 - United States
TMI
By Anonymous - 19/11/2018 17:30
Practical
By Anonymous - 14/10/2020 14:01 - Canada - Fredericton
By Anonymous - 13/09/2012 03:58 - United States - Cedar Rapids
Foreshadowing
By JB. - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States - Somerset
Assumptions
By enderw - 16/06/2009 17:22 - United States
Calling all stations
By Gurl - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - Ireland - Dublin
Keywords
For those who care, no, I didn't give him my address, I'm not an idiot. He just knows the city I live in, because I'm sure I've mentioned it during a group chat. He and I are NOT in a relationship in any way, shape, or form. I barely know him. He's had this weird obsession with me for a while. We talk about once every other day, and have two types of conversations. The most common is: 'Hi, how are you? Good? Glad to hear you're good. Have a nice day.' And that's it. The less common and more creepy is him asking: 'Can I buy you stuff? Can I have your address so I can send you stuff? Do you like jewelry? I'm going to come visit you ;)' He doesn't know my real name, nor do I know his. He doesn't know what I look like, only what I sound like on a mic. We only know each other through our gaming community, and nothing more. :/ I have broken all ties with him, and deleted him off my friends' list (because that's the ONLY way he could contact me). Dude needs to grow up and get his head checked.