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WOW. First off, the only reason I posted this was because I called my husband to tell him about this and he thought itd be funny to post this on here. Now I wish I hadn't. Most of you people are more dramatic than my daughter. I made an account to defend my child. She's five. She was just being silly...

By flowerchildd2 - 12/12/2011 23:17 - United States

Today, a creepy old guy on the bus asked me if I wanted to "lick it." When I said no, he tried to convince me by telling me that "it tastes good." FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 503

You deserved it 3 039

By KiloLima01 - 08/01/2009 03:59 - Australia

Today, I met a really hot chick while waiting for the bus. We spoke for 4 hours till we got to our destination. She hugged me and we parted ways. Later that day I realised she stole my phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 244

You deserved it 4 262

Digging my heels in

By jj. - 03/01/2023 21:00

Today, my family dragged me to a steakhouse, knowing full well I'm vegan. I sat there, with my sad little salad, watching as they stuffed themselves with burned animal flesh and laughed at me. They wonder why I hate them all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 708

You deserved it 1 662

Don't come again!

By Brain Bleach? Anyone? - 22/05/2024 16:00 - United States

Today, as an adult, I finally got to meet my great-grandfather. I had no idea he was still alive, since my parents and even my grandpa never told me. When we met, I found out why my family like to pretend he doesn't exist: This senile 93-year-old is by far the most racist person I've ever encountered in my life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 532

You deserved it 168

The price is wrong

By Anonymous - 20/07/2020 08:01

Today, I have to pay a $20 customs fee on the replacement charging cord for my tablet pen, bringing the total up to $60 I’ve paid for this $4 cord. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 304

You deserved it 312

Try new things, you never know…

By Chelsea - 07/12/2025 20:00

Today, as this is the real world, I accept that my guy likes me partly for my fit (and I think nice) body, so I accept him saying the one thing nicer than my body is me nude with another woman. So his B-day gift was me and a mutual lady friend in some joint nude pics. However, I do mind these pics turning me on more than my guy does. FML

I agree, your life sucks 114

You deserved it 325

By mc - 03/01/2009 02:12 - France

Today, my mother bought me some "biodegradable" tissues. Indeed, they melted… in my hand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 865

You deserved it 2 375

Unstable

By Anonymous - 21/10/2021 17:00

Today, after three months of hooking up and talking about dating, the man I was supporting emotionally went back to his ex, who'd reduced the restraining order on him to a no abuse order so they could be together. He left me in his bed to go be with her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 026

You deserved it 608

Blackout

By Anonymous - 16/01/2023 22:00

Today, I blacked out at work, on my lunch break outside in the rain, and woke up on the ground wet a minute or two later to everyone freaking out, all because I chugged my drink too fast. FML

I agree, your life sucks 429

You deserved it 634

Go go dancer

By Anonymous - 12/12/2025 03:00

Today, I was dancing in a club when some manager told me to stop messing around and get back on stage or I’m not getting paid. I think he thought I worked for him. I was in jeans and a glittery vest, all the dancers were in booty shorts and bikini tops. What the hell, my guy? FML

I agree, your life sucks 322

You deserved it 75

The "He's probably thinking of other girls" meme gone wrong

By Anonymous - 25/10/2021 23:00

Today, my insomnia got so bad that I became convinced my husband was having an affair in our bed right next to me. I punched him so hard in the shoulder that he awoke from a sound sleep, farted, and then shook it off and went back to sleep unfazed. I'm so jealous. FML

I agree, your life sucks 428

You deserved it 1 437

That's just under 3 degrees Celsius

By NotWhitneyH - 17/01/2023 06:00

Today, I was watching Whitney Houston: I Wanna Dance With Somebody. I guess I was too much into the songs because I got heckled and kicked out of the theatre. Oh, and I got ice all over my jacket. It’s 37 degrees outside. FML

I agree, your life sucks 180

You deserved it 1 189

By Poor Student - 05/12/2011 22:30 - Canada

Today, my mother "borrowed" money from my stash to help pay for her vacation to the Dominican Republic. The same trip I'm not allowed to go on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 492

You deserved it 2 581

By tony1401 - 02/02/2010 16:00 - United States

Today, I got another email from Amazon asking me how I like my new Kindle. I don't have a Kindle. It's the one I bought my ex for Christmas, right before she left me while I was deployed overseas. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 914

You deserved it 2 771

You idiot!

By Anonymous - 02/06/2024 20:00 - United States - Wentzville

Today, I delivered a bottle of alcohol to my crush, since I finished her bottle a few nights ago. Turns out, they'd caught my friend and I talking about giving her backshots on their Ring doorbell footage. She brought it up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 102

You deserved it 775

By Anonymous - 01/11/2012 05:08 - United States - Surprise

Today, I had surgery on my arm. My mom has recently had the same surgery, and my dad is having his first rib removed and won't be able to move his arm. My family combined now has three functioning arms. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 819

You deserved it 1 915

By No name - 18/12/2008 04:43 - Australia

Today, on a thirty minute commute to a job interview, I felt the urge to pee. When I got there, I politely asked the receptionist where the toilets were, and she told me to wait for someone to come show me. After another thirty minutes, someone turned up; the HR manager. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 375

You deserved it 2 845

By MyUsernameisEpic - 28/01/2015 01:32 - United States - Winter Park

Today, I was talking to a girl. It was going pretty well until she said, "LOL." What's so bad about that? We weren't texting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 201

You deserved it 5 186

MyUsernameisEpic tells us more.

MyUsernameisEpic 29

Wednesday 28 January 2015 22:34

Okay, so this is my FML. The girl is 15, and we have classes together in school. I didn't really mind that she said it, but it was funny. That's why I decided to share it on here, and it actually got posted! Anyway, back to the story. We were talking in class about something and I made a joke and she started giggling and then, she said, "LOL!" Like, "el-oh-el". Also, I should mention that I wasn't flirting with her or anything. I'm not pursuing a relationship with her, but if I was, I wouldn't completely freak out and change my mind because she said lol. That'd make me a judgmental prick. That'd be pretty screwed up of me. Lastly, I'd like to say that I am friends with her, and just because she said lol, that doesn't mean I think she's stupid or anything.

By Sam - 03/12/2011 10:03 - United States

Today, my friend and his girlfriend got in a fight while drunk and he started walking home. While driving around looking for him, I accidentally hit him with my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 067

You deserved it 9 638