The Top

The most agreed on FMLs The most commented on FMLs The most favorited

The top of the day The top of the week The top of the month The top of the year The all-time greatest FMLs

Media frenzy

By Homeless - 22/08/2023 16:00

Today, our roof collapsed due to water damage. I had saved the money to get the roof fixed months ago, but my wife saw a scare story about gas stoves and demanded we spend the money getting every gas-powered appliance ripped out and replaced. That new HVAC system will work great in a condemned house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 718

You deserved it 205

By td1078 - 24/05/2012 15:50 - United States - Rockville

Today, I was choosing my soft drink at a restaurant. The kid in front of me was too short to reach the lids so I handed him one. His mom rushed over, pried it out of his hands, threw it away, and yelled, "She's filthy, don't use that." FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 893

You deserved it 3 152

td1078 tells us more.

td1078 2

Thursday 24 May 2012 20:44

I wrote this FML story and for the record I was in a suit and heals, with my hair and makeup done, as i was on my home from the office. The woman was just a B. More than anything it was funny because she was so hysterical over a seemingly innocent gesture.

By parched - 02/11/2009 17:30 - United States

Today, the city shut off the water at my house because my roommate thought that the water bills he had been hoarding were "suggestions." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 829

You deserved it 3 274

Based surfer dude moment

By Kelly - 26/08/2023 16:00

Today, I was admiring a hot surfer with my friend when he approached us. I was prepared to give him my number but instead he said, “If I was staring at you two in your bikinis the way you two were ogling me, i’d go to jail. I’m old enough to know your dad by the way, have some respect.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 154

You deserved it 1 621

By artmfanforever - 22/09/2010 20:39 - United States

Today, I locked myself out of my car. While walking home to retrieve the spare, I realized I locked my house keys inside the house this morning. Now I must decide whether to break into my house or car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 345

You deserved it 25 786

Careful

By wowawesome - This FML is from back in 2019 but it's good stuff

Today, I got a second piercing in my ear. I needed help cleaning the back, so I asked my dad for help. I told him to careful, but right when I did, he tore the earring out with the cotton swab. Thanks, dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 778

You deserved it 461

Never work a day in your life

By Anonymous - 06/05/2022 22:00

Today, it's the one-year anniversary of opening my own store. I love books and baking, so I turned my hobby into a career by opening a bookstore with a small cafe and bakery attached. I was not prepared for how hard the job would be, so now I hate my career AND my hobby as well. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 180

You deserved it 624

The pros and cons of dating

By Fun but pointless date - 28/08/2023 20:00

Today, I went on a blind date. It turned out that the person who I was set up with was my ex's sibling. We spent the whole evening talking about how terrible my ex is. I'm still single, though. FML

I agree, your life sucks 669

You deserved it 145

Cats rule

By Respect101 - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States - Alvin

Today, I was talking to my boss about dogs and cats. I'm a dog person; he's a cat person. He told me that he likes cats better, because they are laid back and don't do anything all day. Before I could stop myself, I blurted out, "Just like you?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 875

You deserved it 27 924

Workout

By Demitrius_T - 19/03/2021 08:01 - United Kingdom

Today, after noticing weight gain, I purchased an ab belt. Despite no gym for around a year now, I assumed I could easily sustain an advanced level workout and put the belt on maximum strength. The first shock catapulted me off my feet and smacked my head into the wall, leaving a noticeable dent. FML

I agree, your life sucks 301

You deserved it 1 377

Big kid

By Pauly - 10/02/2025 12:00 - United States

Today, I went to take a drink from my water bottle while sitting in a quiet office with 5 coworkers. I squeezed too hard, sending a jet of water straight into my nose. My coworkers now think I need a sippy cup. FML

I agree, your life sucks 163

You deserved it 357

By bananagurl4242 - 16/07/2011 05:34 - United States

Today, my friends told me all five of us should bring sleeping bags on our field trip; I brought mine only to find out they had told me that so they would get the four beds to themselves. They all 'forgot' to bring them and its only fair that I should sleep on the floor. We are here for a week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 198

You deserved it 4 472

By pathetic - 31/10/2009 10:08 - Australia

Today, it's Saturday night, and also Halloween. Instead of going out, I'm sitting at home on MSN telling everyone who asks me what I'm doing tonight that I'm 'going out in 10 minutes to a party', then when 10 minutes pass, I block them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 659

You deserved it 26 387

Can someone just help this person?

By Billie-Jo - 22/03/2021 14:01 - United States - Waldoboro

Today, I got a new smart TV and I can't do anything with it until I log into my Amazon account on it. It won't let me log on. Now I can't use the TV. This is just great. FML

I agree, your life sucks 819

You deserved it 263

Kinda sus

By anonymous - 31/08/2023 08:00

Today, my overly friendly bubbly classmate, who’s like a preschool teacher hopped up on Red Bull, texted me, “Hey honey buns! Wanna meet up early before class and get groovin?!” My husband saw it and insisted that it's code for cheating. I'm not sure how I can explain that she’s just weird and wants to study. FML

I agree, your life sucks 669

You deserved it 124

By brigie - 01/05/2013 08:21 - Australia - Sydney

Today, my boyfriend of two and a half years left me. To clear my head I decided to go for a drive. My car broke down on the way. The only mechanic I have ever used and trusted with my car is my boyfriend. Yes, I had to call him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 573

You deserved it 8 157

By Anonymous - 17/09/2010 11:36 - United States

Today, I broke my toe. After telling my friend about it, he promptly stomped on it to "see what my reaction would be." FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 495

You deserved it 3 521

Dodge

By hollywoodhelman - 17/02/2025 00:00 - United States

Today, I bought the girl I like concert tickets for our favorite artist, who is usually never in our town, for her birthday. She said, “No thanks, I have to work that day.” She works Monday-Friday. The concert is on Saturday. When I mentioned this, she asked me, “So, what did you think of the Super Bowl halftime show?” FML

I agree, your life sucks 446

You deserved it 251

Jumpy

By pokemontrainer99 - 17/05/2022 10:00

Today, my mom screamed at me for being startled by her, calling my reaction “unnecessary and extremely rude.” When I tried to explain to her for the millionth time that I startle easily, and it’s involuntary, she told me to “make it voluntary, or else.” I fear what is to come. FML

I agree, your life sucks 955

You deserved it 155

Dingus magnet

By Creepmagnet - 07/09/2023 08:00

Today, and every day I go out in public, I apparently have a sign on my back saying, “If you’re a creepy old man, please harass and stare at me.” The best part? No one my own age has ever spared me even a second look. FML

I agree, your life sucks 608

You deserved it 162

I knew it!

By Singleforever - 21/02/2025 15:00 - United States

Today, my ex-husband listed himself as “In a relationship” with the co-worker he constantly reassured me not to worry about on Facebook. The ink on our divorce paperwork hasn’t even dried yet. We had an amicable divorce because he “just wasn’t feeling it anymore.” Now I know why. I’m sick to my stomach. FML

I agree, your life sucks 627

You deserved it 122

By MotherofET - 11/07/2011 04:23 - Australia

Today, my daughter announced on Facebook that she is directly descended from extra-terrestrials. That would be okay - except she's 25 and believes it's true. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 356

You deserved it 4 519

Pipe down!

By Anonymous - 23/02/2025 20:00 - Canada

Today, I woke up to the sound of my roommate vacuuming at 7 a.m. I was annoyed because I had stayed up late, but then I realized she was vacuuming in the kitchen… at 7 a.m. because the broom "wasn't powerful enough." I gave her the benefit of the doubt until she started vacuuming my bedroom floor while I was still in bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 411

You deserved it 98

By mrsfantastic - 12/09/2010 14:02 - United Kingdom

Today, I was recovering from an operation. After I felt better, I checked my phone. There were 35 missed calls and angry text messages from my boyfriend asking why I wasn't at his house to cook his dinner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 624

You deserved it 6 510

By Anonymous - 26/10/2009 21:37 - Australia

Today, I discovered that I needed to reapply for my job in order to have a chance at keeping it. The applications closed yesterday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 149

You deserved it 5 965

By WTF. - 03/08/2019 20:00

Today, I was interviewed by a WalMart employee for a position in their pharmacy. I didn't get the job. I was more qualified than the woman who gave me the interview. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 742

You deserved it 332

Teenagers

By Chuncan Duncan - 01/04/2021 16:59 - United Kingdom

Today, my wife and I can’t decide if we should force my stepson to wait when he rudely demands something, in the hope he’ll learn patience and some manners, or just give him what he wants so he’ll go away and stop making us miserable. He’s 13. FML

I agree, your life sucks 331

You deserved it 1 346

Mind your own business

By Anonymous - 16/06/2022 16:00

Today, I caught my best friend's wife being a cheating whore, and I told her either she told him the truth or I would. More fool me, she used the time I gave her to convince him I tried to sleep with her, so now he won’t believe a word I say, and he punched me in the jaw. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 262

You deserved it 255

Close knit

By Anonymous - 01/03/2025 09:00 - Ireland - Dublin

Today, I was at a family gathering when my aunt drunkenly confessed that she had once dated my dad in high school. Everyone laughed, thinking it was a joke. I didn’t laugh. I just stared at her for 10 minutes, processing how our family tree had now become a circle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 221

You deserved it 297

By Anonymous - 22/04/2013 18:42 - United States - Lebanon

Today, I found out that I am allergic to one of the preservatives that they put in aloe. I found this out after I put some on a severe sunburn I have. Not only am I sunburned, but now I am severely itchy as well. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 069

You deserved it 4 199

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Birthday Family Cute Friends Relatable My ex I need your advice Love Intimacy NSFW Awkward Sex Scary Technology Annoying Work Money Capitalism Embarrassing Divorce Education Health Sports Abuse Kids Hospital Wanker Addiction Management

The Top

Today, I spent over $20 at the laundromat doing two weeks of laundry, just to avoid using the facilities in my apartment complex and having to deal with my creepy landlord trying to steal my underwear again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 613

You deserved it 1 636

Today, I lent a pair of expensive headphones to a "friend" for the weekend. As a thank-you, he bought me a soda. He moved this weekend, taking the headphones with him. I lost a $250 pair of headphones for a $1 soda. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 233

You deserved it 21 402

Today, I was out walking my dog, when a lady called out to me asking, “Is that a boy or a girl?” Assuming she meant the dog, I told her that he was a boy. When I turned away, I heard her say to her kid, “I was talking about the person walking the dog, but whatever,” then audibly laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 518

You deserved it 220

Today, my best friend decided to get herself a new puppy. My dog passed away last week. She named it the same name and got the same breed as mine was. She sees nothing wrong and can’t understand why I’m upset. In fact, she tells me to “stop being a Debbie Downer.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 133

You deserved it 1 283

Today, I got to endure another "fun" team-building personality test. Like usual, it said I was defensive and using a belief that I can't follow conversations. I literally can't due to auditory processing issues. My coworkers keep assuring me it's safe to open up. Fuck psychology. FML

I agree, your life sucks 331

You deserved it 94

Today, I finally cracked and told my boyfriend that if he didn't sign full custody of his evil, manipulative 3 year-old daughter to her mother, then I would leave. He picked me up and literally threw me outside his apartment, slamming the door in my face when I tried to run back inside. FML

I agree, your life sucks 78

You deserved it 1 373