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Finally

By Anonymous - 07/11/2010 00:37 - Canada

Today, I came home and saw my roommate had taken out the garbage for the first time in the three years we have lived in the same house. Unfortunately, the bag of laundry I had by the door was taken out with it as well. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 205

You deserved it 4 173

Grounded

By Cerise - 05/03/2022 18:00

Today, my sister commented that she wants to audition for The Voice and that she’s sure she’ll make it to the finals. I said, “You have to have raw talent to do so.” I realized the severity of my comment too late as she teared up and stormed out of the room. My mom took my Macbook and car keys away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 761

You deserved it 482

By la taupe temporaire - 04/03/2008 17:26

Today, just before going into an test, I broke my glasses on the way to the exam room. I'm short sighted, and I spent an hour with my nose glued to the paper trying to figure out what was written on it. It was a opthalmology exam. FML

I agree, your life sucks 613

You deserved it 52

By Anonymous - 30/11/2009 07:37 - United States

Today, I woke up to find my boyfriend watching me sleep. I asked him if he was staring at me because he was in love. He replied that it was because my farting wouldn't let him sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 803

You deserved it 13 987

The Bridges of Madison County 2: Electric Boogaloo

By mistreated mistress - 19/06/2023 10:00

Today, despite the fact that we love each other and are perfect together, my boyfriend still refuses to leave his wife. Apparently it will "mess his kids up." FML

I agree, your life sucks 120

You deserved it 2 915

By la choupe - 20/04/2013 09:25 - Romania - Brasov

Today, I live in Romania and my walls are particularly thin. After enduring my neighbor’s parties, the house music of my neighbor, I’m now enduring the covers of traditional Romanian songs with a flute by my neighbor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 686

You deserved it 77

By nicOlyMpien - 03/06/2010 01:30 - India

Today, I’m in India. As a good foreigner, I want to adapt myself and to do everything like the locals. I tried to get off the bus while it was still rolling. I lost a pair of jeans, a knee and my dignity. FML

I agree, your life sucks 536

You deserved it 256

By Anonymous - 29/11/2009 00:32 - United States

Today, I had to make up a story about my "friends" at school so my mom doesn't keep telling I'm a loser. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 684

You deserved it 6 827

By RichardPencil - 07/10/2016 10:32 - United States

Today, I thought everyone was smiling at me because they liked my "skateboarding behind a police motorcycle" prank. Turns out, they all saw the open sewer manhole 10 metres ahead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 806

You deserved it 285

By germophobe - 02/09/2014 01:53 - Canada - Calgary

Today, my roommate came back from camping. My toothbrush magically reappeared as well. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 749

You deserved it 3 354

Girlbossing

By Anonymous - 05/07/2012 15:46

Today, I started a sport journalism degree. I was the only woman out of 60 students. The lecturer started talking about how we should all aspire to become sports editors of national newspapers. Later, he said women have no chance of ever becoming sports editors. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 697

You deserved it 3 141

It's not what you think! Come back!

By LonelyLoner - 26/11/2009 18:19 - United States

Today, I went out to lunch with a girl I like and her best friend. We had a good time, even talked for a few hours at the restaurant, but after we left, she stopped talking to me. Her friend told her that I kept staring at her chest; I was trying to see what her pendant was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 924

You deserved it 38 378

Sticky situation

By Anonymous - 19/01/2021 05:02

Today, my boss keeps pointing out similarities between his wife and me. I genuinely dislike her, and have feelings for him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 392

You deserved it 1 108

Work husbands and work wives

By Sleeping at my parents tonight - 28/06/2023 15:00

Today, I went to my husband’s work party where employees could bring a plus one. There, I met the colleague he talks so much about. She looked noticeably disappointed and said to my husband, “Wife?! You told me you were single!” We’ve been married for 7 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 472

You deserved it 136

By fun - 16/06/2013 04:54 - United States

Today, my husband threw up on me during our wedding vows. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 066

You deserved it 4 587

Alexa, play "Rockit" by Herbie Hancock

By Anonymous - 19/08/2011 07:13 - United States

Today, I wanted to show my teenage daughter what we did when I was her age. We used to breakdance, so I stuck on a Grandmaster Flash track, and tried some old moves on the living room floor. I spun out of control, smacked my head into a wall and pulled a back muscle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 346

You deserved it 41 221

By Florida - 27/10/2010 18:46 - United States

Today, my husband informed me that his father adopted a dog. I replied "Cool," he then said, "She happens to have your name." I think my father in law is trying to send me a message. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 151

You deserved it 2 943

What did you expect?

By Effing buzzkill - 04/07/2023 10:00

Today, I stole a classmate’s graphic calculator because I couldn’t afford one. She reported it missing to the professor. He wouldn’t let anyone leave class until it turned up. Not even saying I had diarrhea had him let me go. In fact, he told me to empty my backpack right there and then. I’m suspended. FML

I agree, your life sucks 119

You deserved it 2 655

Welcome home!

By Anonymous - 02/07/2012 15:45 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I went to the airport to pick up my long-distance boyfriend. Having waited six months for this, I was stoked. After waiting for three hours and sending numerous messages, I was eventually informed I was a week early. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 838

You deserved it 14 299

Seize the day

By Anonymous - 04/07/2023 15:00

Today, a guy that I've been friends with for almost 20 years, and for whom I have never shown even the slightest bit of romantic interest in, confessed his love for me. In front of everyone we know, at mine and my fiancé's engagement party. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 186

You deserved it 164

By DriveMeNot - 27/10/2010 00:02 - United States

Today, I reached into my pocket and found my mom's car keys. I'm a four hour drive away, and she obviously can't come to pick them up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 731

You deserved it 7 374

By Christine - 09/05/2009 06:08 - United States

Today, I saw my little brother playing with my new kitten. He is only five and isn't very gentle so I took the cat away and told him "You can't play with the cat! I don't think he likes you very much!" in a joking tone. The cat then bit and clawed my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 015

You deserved it 51 237

This is going to be bad

By Anonymous - 05/12/2024 22:00 - United States - Tucson

Today, my boss is going nuts after some coworkers quit, as they were some of the lucky few with enough cash to move away ahead of whatever dumbass plan the next administration has for their immigrant families and friends. My boss is complaining he can't afford to pay "normal people wages" and wants me to work overtime. FML

I agree, your life sucks 502

You deserved it 200

Make it stop

By Elephant1718 - 12/06/2013 01:16 - United States - The Dalles

Today, I was looking forward to my only day to sleep-in this month while I'm balancing school and work. I was rudely awakened at 6 am by my sister and her friend trying to make pancakes, burning them, and setting off the fire alarm in my house for half an hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 916

You deserved it 3 079

Live Laugh Love

By ihatewalmart - 29/06/2012 23:12 - United States

Today, while at work, I saw a kid empty his bladder all over the floor. His mother walked over, looked at me, said, "Yep… that just happened," and dragged him away. I'm a 30-year-old man, four credits shy of a Master's, stuck cleaning up piss at a dead-end job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 083

You deserved it 3 219

By Wally - 08/05/2009 15:20 - Canada

Today, I got to sleep in late for the first time in 3 years, as wife took our two young daughters out of town to visit with her parents. I told my mother that I was really looking forward to being able to sleep in this morning. The phone rang at 7:30. It was my mother asking me how I slept. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 381

You deserved it 5 754

One night in Wetherspoons

By Joe Smooth - 06/12/2024 20:00 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I tried to impress a girl in a bar with a magic trick. Instead of pulling a coin from behind her ear, I accidentally flicked her glasses straight into her pint of lager. She was far from impressed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 87

You deserved it 565

By anonymous - 24/10/2010 16:14 - United States

Today, I went on a movie date with a guy. He brought his mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 688

You deserved it 4 082

By single lady - 15/08/2011 14:45 - United States

Today, at my aunt's wedding, the time for the tossing of the bouquet came and the announcer asked for all the single ladies to gather behind the bride. I was the only one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 385

You deserved it 3 733

Health hazard

By Anonymous - 23/10/2010 08:17 - United States

Today, I watched a grizzled old gas station attendant, with a stain on her blouse, use my driver's license to pick something out of her teeth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 260

You deserved it 2 921

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The Top

Today, I learned that instead of spending Christmas alone with my cat, enjoying chicken quesadillas and a tin of tuna while watching only the best cartoons, my mother's coming over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 405

You deserved it 1 374

Today, I stopped a guy from running under a moving London bus. No-one else saw what happened. How did the guy thank me? He wanted to fight me because I made him miss the bus I just saved him from. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 401

You deserved it 1 386

Today, I had sex with a guy wearing a KFC uniform. Hat included. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 815

You deserved it 74 125

Today, my girlfriend of 8 years and I received our results from a DNA test. We're both very interested in history and ancestry, and wanted to see where in the world we both originated. It turns out we have the same father. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 412

You deserved it 333

Today, after moving in with a friend I've known for 9 years, I found out he's going to jail soon, and refuses to work or get a new job, making me unable to pay rent as he eats all my food. FML

I agree, your life sucks 814

You deserved it 180

Today, I had to have a conversation with my husband about how my toes have gone numb from the diabetes that it's no longer sexy when he sucks my toes, because it just feels odd and uncomfortable to be honest. FML

I agree, your life sucks 289

You deserved it 131