The Top

The most agreed on FMLs The most commented on FMLs The most favorited

The top of the day The top of the week The top of the month The top of the year The all-time greatest FMLs

Put it away!

By Put on some trousers, you asshole! - 27/06/2021 18:01 - Mexico - Mexico

Today, I'm temporarily staying at my parents' place because my mother injured her knee and can't walk, and for the second time, I caught my father walking around with his bare dick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 274

You deserved it 159

By refticon - 06/02/2013 08:45 - Belgium - Antwerp

Today, I went to college on bike through snow and hail only to find out my professor can't make it to class due to the weather. She lives down my street. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 087

You deserved it 3 252

refticon tells us more.

refticon 31

Wednesday 25 February 2015 20:27

Hi guys, OP here. I just wanted you to know I've laughed plenty of times over the years remembering your replies ! Here's to you ! Grtz Alex

Pass the parcel

By Anonymous - 30/06/2021 10:59

Today, I went to my son's friend's birthday party and felt really proud of giving a great gift. It just so happened that I regifted the same gift that his friend's mother gave to my son the month before, because I forgot to check the name on the bag. It looked like she was about to faint. FML

I agree, your life sucks 201

You deserved it 1 804

By facepalm - 05/02/2013 03:30 - United States - Sayreville

Today, working as a nurse, I saw a patient in for follow-up after a partial leg amputation. I checked her blood pressure and gave her the reading, which prompted her husband to ask what it meant. She replied, "I'm alive." Before I could stop myself, "And kicking" spilled out of my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 322

You deserved it 9 517

By kaylajere - 26/05/2010 08:17 - United States

Today, I decided to lay out and tan. I fell asleep and got sun burned and bitten numerous times by mosquitoes. If I scratch my itch, the burn hurts terribly. If I don't scratch it, it itches terribly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 178

You deserved it 36 825

Pet lover

By Anonymous - 01/07/2021 13:39

Today, my socks are labeled "100% wool". If you looked at them, though, you'd have to admit that the correct label, after being used for months, would have to read something like, "50% wool, 30% dog hair, 20% cat hair." FML

I agree, your life sucks 340

You deserved it 672

By Anonymous - 29/04/2011 12:53 - New Zealand

Today, my boyfriend of nearly two years broke up with me because he's sick of me being annoyed at him. Why am I annoyed at him? Because he wants to go and spend a week with his ex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 606

You deserved it 5 317

No sleep til Brooklyn

By blahblah - 24/05/2010 04:14 - United States

Today, finally we got our toddler daughter to sleep in her own bed. The wife and I were both excited to finally have our room to ourselves. Just as our daughter was about to fall asleep, the damn cat went into her room and loudly hacked up a huge hairball. Now she's back in mommy's and daddy's bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 346

You deserved it 7 056

By so bored -__- - 25/02/2012 04:18 - United States

Today, my parents dragged me along to a family soccer game. I got so bored watching a bunch of grown men practically buttfucking each other between kicking balls around the field, that I fell asleep. I woke up a few hours later to an empty field and had to walk five miles back home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 628

You deserved it 31 222

By whyme27 - 09/09/2009 02:41 - Canada

Today, I washed one of my roommates t-shirts. I forgot to remove it before putting it in the dryer, and all the print on the front melted off. It was a gift from his girlfriend. Who has just passed away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 590

You deserved it 20 433

By whatsername92 - 01/02/2013 03:35 - United States

Today, my boyfriend gave me the most beautiful diamond ring I have ever seen. As I excitedly put it on my finger, he told me it wasn't an engagement ring, but I should wear it like one to keep other men away and seem "unapproachable". FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 579

You deserved it 4 573

Today, on Judge Judy…

By grieving - 05/07/2021 18:01 - Australia

Today, my grandpa died suddenly. About a month ago, he gifted me a few thousand dollars to buy a used car. My uncle is now demanding I return it, saying I can't prove that my grandfather agreed to it, and that he wants his rightful share of the inheritance. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 319

You deserved it 73

How could you?

By 13th floor please - 16/07/2025 22:00 - United States

Today, I was in a big crowded elevator and had to struggle tried to press the button for my floor because no one close to the buttons bothered to ask me which floor I was going to. Instead, I hit the emergency stop button. The elevator stopped between floors for 20 minutes. Everyone stared at me like I was a movie villain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 178

You deserved it 500

Clean

By Anonymous - 01/02/2014 18:37 - United States - Cortland

Today, my Axe shampoo, body wash, and deodorant finally did their job: they got a girl to notice me. Too bad the girl was my grandma. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 048

You deserved it 14 094

Old dog, new tricks

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my mom noticed the hickey that I have on my neck. Embarrassed, I tried convincing her that I burnt myself using a hair straightener. She then told me that that's the same excuse she told my grandma when she got a hickey. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 031

You deserved it 47 450

By sadgf - 25/02/2009 21:12 - United States

Today, my boyfriend said that being with me was his payment for past sins. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 758

You deserved it 6 121

Wow, thanks, I'm cured

By Anonymous - 23/02/2020 01:00

Today, after suffering with anxiety and insomnia for a nearly a year and exhausting every natural remedy I could think of, I finally went to go to a doctor for help. Instead of writing me a prescription, he told me to drink more tea and think happy thoughts. I had to pay out of pocket for this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 100

You deserved it 249

Stay hydrated

By Time To Go - 23/09/2022 01:30

Today, my kid has severe diarrhoea. My husband said he was going out to get medicine. Two long, painful hours later, I find he's out eating and chilling with his friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 164

You deserved it 159

By Anonymous - 20/02/2012 03:00 - Canada

Today, I had to leave the movie theater early because I couldn't fit in the chairs. I guess I'll see it when it comes out on DVD. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 370

You deserved it 57 687

By thatoneperson - 17/02/2012 12:43 - United States

Today, I discovered that you can't always assume your little brother is kidding when he says that you have a spider on top of your head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 445

You deserved it 5 910

By Anonymous - 11/04/2010 19:11 - United States

Today, my cat brought yet another chipmunk into our house. She never kills them, so they stay in our house until we either capture them or they escape. So far, she's brought in three squirrels, four chipmunks, four mice, and a snake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 491

You deserved it 72

Mama's boy

By vacay no way - 14/07/2021 06:01

Today, I was asking my husband to help me finalize plans for our upcoming vacation. He, however, would rather pout and sulk because I don’t want him to bring his mom along. She’s been with us on our last few trips and it’s hard to get any alone time. I’m considering just going alone at this point. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 987

You deserved it 181

By Anonymous - 16/02/2012 07:32 - Australia

Today, I was talking to a guy I really liked, hoping that he would ask me out. Eventually he asked for my number. I was so excited that I couldn't remember it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 224

You deserved it 8 629

Godless

By fullyajar - 12/07/2021 11:01

Today, while having dinner with my girlfriend's very religious parents, her mother called me a heathen and said she'd convert me one day. She wasn't kidding. FML

I agree, your life sucks 946

You deserved it 137

My house, my rules

By Bondi414 - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my dad made a new house rule: "If it's yellow, let it mellow; if it's brown, flush it down." My whole house now smells like piss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 912

You deserved it 2 865

You mean it isn't??

By Anonymous - 28/01/2024 22:00 - United States - Jacksonville

Today, I got roasted in class because I could've swore that the story of Robin Hood was in the Bible. I was so cocksure of myself, but I guess I shouldn't repeat stuff my dad told me for a laugh when I was about 9 years-old, now that I'm in college. FML

I agree, your life sucks 106

You deserved it 1 018

By inalotofpain - 16/04/2011 12:46 - United States

Today, while relaxing in the kitchen drinking coffee, my dad suddenly rushed in, knocking me over and causing me to spill boiling hot coffee all over myself. Then, my dad thought it would be a good idea to grab the sprayer from the sink and douse me with cold water in order to "put me out." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 505

You deserved it 3 928

Separation anxiety

By Anonymous - 21/07/2021 02:01 - Germany

Today, I’m glad that my friend’s grumpy old cat, who I’m watching in her absence, actually seems to like me. In fact, she likes me so much that she wakes me up at 4 a.m. to not only demand food, but demand my company while eating it. How very flattering. FML

I agree, your life sucks 987

You deserved it 178

By fatty:( - 15/04/2011 09:30 - Australia

Today, my 15 year-old daughter got kicked out of her cheerleading squad because she was overweight. I heard one of the cheerleaders say, "She must be overweight because her mom is." FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 421

You deserved it 13 874

Toxic masculinity

By Anonymous - 19/07/2021 07:59

Today, my grandad smacked me on the back of the head, and told me to, "Act like a goddamn man and stop crying." It was at the funeral of my mum and sister, who both died in a car crash. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 154

You deserved it 130

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Annoying Hospital Work Management Language DIY Miscellaneous Relatable Mysterious Awkward Cars Embarrassing Cooking Coworkers Love Anniversary Divorce Transportation Health Surgery Healthy Lifestyle Growing old Technology Money Ironic Animals Relationships Horses Jealousy Birds

The Top

Today, I kept having dreams that I had made drunken snapchats. Those weren't just dreams. FML

I agree, your life sucks 465

You deserved it 348

Today, I lost my job. I was so upset that I put in my favorite mix CD of all the songs that get me feeling better. While scanning for my favorite song, I hit the car in front of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 198

You deserved it 37 299

Today, I canceled my dental check-up because I'm getting busy at work. Then, as I was flossing, my finger slipped, I heard a "crunch" from one of my fillings, and I now have a killer toothache. It's costing me double to go to the dentist because it's now an emergency call. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 111

You deserved it 7 520

Today, it was my grandfather's burial. As the family was about to leave, a great aunt came up to my skinny, tall and pretty cousin and told her, "Stay beautiful and kind." Then, she walked to me and said, "And you, Stay kind." FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 737

You deserved it 3 522

Today, I met a new guy at work who wouldn't stop hitting on me. We ended up on a six-hour shift together watching a pool, so we were wearing nothing but bathing suits when he began grabbing me inappropriately. When I confided in my female coworker about it, she told me that he was her husband. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 296

You deserved it 223

Today, like every day, my boss was complaining about something or other, but this time it was work that I knew he'd done himself, and he still blamed me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 923

You deserved it 72