The Top

Thankfully their aim was horrible. The darts were metal. Trust me. If I had the choice on whether or not they were allowed to play, I wouldn't have let them played. However, they had money, so the rule is they get to play.

By Anonymous - 27/11/2012 05:06 - United States - Appleton

Today, my step-mom restarted the computer because she thought she'd downloaded a virus that stopped her from being able to click on anything, erasing my 7-page paper in the process. It turns out it was just the batteries dying in our wireless mouse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 645

You deserved it 13 440

By sammyducks227 - 08/11/2013 07:49 - United States - Saint Charles

Today, I've invited friends and family to my birthday party. I've also come home to find that my parents didn't pay the water bill. I either have to tell everyone I know that they are uninvited or not to take dumps in my house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 589

You deserved it 3 700

I wish!

By Anonymous - 17/09/2021 11:00

Today, my sister saw an empty bottle of squirty cream in my bedroom, and now her and my siblings keep teasing me about how I must have a really kinky sex life. Truth is, I ate the cream by myself with cake, chocolate and biscuits, because I was depressed about it actually being 2 years since I had sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 276

You deserved it 284

By Anonymous - 24/12/2011 08:38 - United States

Today, I worked 4 hours for a huge mail call to get all the troops their Christmas mail. And just like every other mail call I did not receive one package or letter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 113

You deserved it 2 521

Slipped up

By hate my job - 24/09/2021 20:00

Today, I sent my resumé to a former coworker to get some pointers, except that I sent it to his old work email account and now my boss knows I’m looking for a new job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 358

You deserved it 1 006

Dad of the year

By Anonymous - 16/12/2022 21:00

Today, my dad told me that people requiring psychiatric treatment are just weak and pathetic, and what they really need is a kick up the ass and to get a fucking grip. He told me this not 30 seconds after my doctor recommended I spend some time in a facility for my severe depression. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 224

You deserved it 161

By Anonymous - 23/11/2012 02:49 - Canada - Oakville

Today, I ran into an old friend, and she remarked how she couldn't believe we hadn't seen each other in a year. Except not only did I attend her baby shower a few weeks ago, I spent hundreds of dollars on a unique gift. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 286

You deserved it 2 887

Great conversation starter

By balkangirl94 - 23/12/2011 07:42 - United States

Today, a guy tried to seduce me by talking about incest. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 524

You deserved it 3 744

By spoony - 19/01/2009 05:32 - Australia

Today, while on a date with the guy of my dreams, I cut my tongue so bad it bled for an hour. I managed to cut it on the plastic spoon from my coffee. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 452

You deserved it 3 062

By pixelbaker - 29/07/2009 16:34 - United States

Today, I was at work doing phone computer support helping a woman with her computer. I asked her to close all her open windows. She deleted all the important company documents in the open folder instead. I got fired because "close windows" and "delete" have become "too technical" for users. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 871

You deserved it 2 740

pixelbaker tells us more.

pixelbaker 0

Thursday 30 July 2009 4:47

The "documents" were basically just data sets pulled from a database stored on a workstation in the office. This workstation is not backed up. Yes, the company is full of morons. No, I'm not fighting it because this was the last straw of many last straws. I don't want to work for these idiots any more.

This ain't gonna end well

By PureFallPain - 23/11/2019 20:00

Today, I'm catfishing a guy on Twitter. I didn't mean to start it, I had an account I used to vent with, and I used a pic with a cute girl. He sent me a DM saying he liked my pic. He wanted to talk on the phone, and we have fallen for each other. He thinks I'm 18. I'm a 39 year-old single mother of 3 kids. FML

I agree, your life sucks 573

You deserved it 5 734

By Shantoya - 17/01/2009 19:49 - United States

Today, the guy I've secretly been in love with for years told me how hot my brother is. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 894

You deserved it 2 991

It's The End Of The World As We Know It (And I Feel Like Shit)

By The lights will flicker on...and off... - 18/12/2022 18:00

Today, the massive snowstorm that has been mercilessly attacking my city for the past week started causing random, brief blackouts every 2-5 minutes. I'm very sick, so the last thing I need is for this house to be cold. FML

I agree, your life sucks 881

You deserved it 148

Can't be bothered

By Anonymous - 07/05/2024 20:00 - Germany

Today, I told my man that, in order to get me ready for sex within a minute whenever he wants, he only needs to relearn how to go down on me, which he used to do splendidly but has somehow forgotten. He apparently considers this too much effort and will rather keep groping me unsuccessfully. FML

I agree, your life sucks 770

You deserved it 199

By OzzyWannabee - 20/02/2015 08:12 - France - Issy-les-moulineaux

Today, I tried to overcome my shyness by warmly greeting the bus driver while entering it. I instead blurted out really loudly the words of the song my iPod was playing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 031

You deserved it 7 204

By neonstarr - 30/10/2013 10:41 - New Zealand

Today, I could think of more 'pros' than 'cons' for why I should start drinking again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 213

You deserved it 7 147

neonstarr tells us more.

neonstarr 15

Thursday 31 October 2013 9:31

Op here. Surprised this got posted. Sorry to burst some the bubbles but I'm not an alcoholic, I stopped drinking because of medical reasons, turns out I have gluten intolerance which caused damage to my gut, and by association killed my stomach lining and throat. Wasn't pleasant. Also I'm a chick. And since I'm better, I was weighing out pros and cons at 330am. If I ever do have a drinking problem Ill use some of the advice :)

By Anonymous - 28/07/2009 01:20 - United States

Today, I was sitting in a coffee shop when the weird guy who had been pacing the store talking to himself approached our table. He looked at me, and in all seriousness, said, "I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but your butt crack is showing." FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 293

You deserved it 45 072