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Fight, flight, or freeze

By Broken - 03/09/2025 15:00 - United States

Today, a guy approached me at a party. He made small talk and said he wanted to get to know me. I've had enough of men's bullshit after what my exes put me through, and chimed back with, "Why? So you can then leave me for someone else when you get bored with me?" I do this to every potential suitor, and I hate it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 98

You deserved it 789

Making whoopee

By Broken trust - 19/09/2025 20:00

Today, after years of my wife having almost no sex drive, and always insisting on using protection, she suddenly craves unprotected sex like an alcoholic craves booze. I went through her phone and learned why. Yup, she's pregnant, cheated on me since day one, and her scummy side dick skipped town. FML

I agree, your life sucks 523

You deserved it 98

Miscommunication

By Wasted effort - 21/09/2025 15:00

Today, after months of nasty fights, I decided to turn over a new leaf in my relationship. I apologized for my past actions and spent the week trying to make sure her needs were met and that she felt special. Rather than trying to reconnect, she decided I'm "love bombing" her and now won't even look at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 227

You deserved it 299

Wrong move

By Anonymous - 30/09/2025 12:00

Today, I told a coworker, “You look way better without makeup.” She responded, “I’m wearing makeup.” Everyone around us gasped like I had just said "fuck" in church. FML

I agree, your life sucks 82

You deserved it 643

Technology hates human

By I HATE THESE MACHINE - 12/10/2025 22:00

Today, I went through a self-checkout at a grocery store. The machine kept repeating, “Please remove the unexpected item in the bagging area.” After five attempts, an employee came over and discovered the “unexpected item” was my own elbow resting on the counter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 116

You deserved it 401

Tease

By Blue balls forever - 20/10/2025 20:00

Today, my fiancee told me she felt horny and was excited for bed, then got mad when I seemed indifferent. I'd be more interested if she didn't constantly wind me up by talking about sex, then get cold feet the second we're alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 299

You deserved it 73

Shat myself

By Giselle - 02/11/2025 09:00

Today, my coworkers threw me a surprise birthday party. When I walked in and they yelled “SURPRISE!”, I screamed, dropped my coffee, and reflexively shouted, “Who are you people?!” before realizing it was for me. They’re still laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 186

You deserved it 279

Flustered

By Bradley is alone - 09/11/2025 09:00

Today, while walking my dog, I saw a hot guy so I tried to look chill. My dog chose that exact moment to take an enormous dump. I didn’t have any bags. The dude stared while I pretended to check my phone until he walked off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66

You deserved it 549

It's the thought that counts

By cakelady - 16/11/2025 12:00

Today, I spent two hours baking a chocolate cake for my coworker Cathy's birthday. I took it into the office, everyone gathered, and we sang. Her birthday is actually next week. The person whose birthday was today is named Kevin, and he’s allergic to chocolate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 257

You deserved it 221

Sir, this is a Wendy's

By Anonymous - 11/12/2025 09:00

Today, I've been waiting nearly three days for my Amazon delivery order. I knew that Christmas orders were going to swamp Amazon, so I bought two gift cards and a CD that my mom specifically wanted ahead of time. I purchased them on the 4th to be safe. It's now the 10th, I've been charged, but no sign of my order. FML

I agree, your life sucks 152

You deserved it 245

Cheeky

By Anonymous - 01/01/2026 15:00

Today, I learned that my kids refer to my much older fiancé as my “Emotional support corpse.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 213

You deserved it 401

Doofus

By Anonymous - 02/02/2025 22:00 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I was talking to my crush when I laughed so hard that I snorted. Then I tried to play it cool by saying, "I do that on purpose sometimes." Now he probably thinks I fake-snort for fun. FML

I agree, your life sucks 73

You deserved it 516

Maybe take the bus today?

By Lol - 10/02/2025 00:00 - United States - Toledo

Today, I got into my car, started the engine, and started driving… only to realize my car was making a weird noise. Panic set in until I realized I was still in my driveway. The weird noise? The gate that I forgot to open, along with a trash can. FM

I agree, your life sucks 100

You deserved it 525

Neighborly

By Michael McMike - 11/02/2025 20:00 - Canada - Whitehorse

Today, as I always do when we get a lot of snow, I shovelled the snow off my elderly neighbor’s driveway. I slipped and fell into a snowbank, breaking my collarbone, and she had to call 911 to help me out because I couldn't snow angel my way up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 468

You deserved it 71

No chemistry

By Anonymous - 15/02/2025 03:00 - United States - Lancaster

Today, It's Valentine's Day. I'm single and in college, where everyone is posting their S.O.s and going on dates. I'm intensely introverted and shy, and I have a crush but I'm way too scared to ever tell him, and I'm going to spend my evening alone studying organic chemistry. Honestly, I just feel nerdy and lonely. FML

I agree, your life sucks 403

You deserved it 178

As a treat

By CrumblGirl - 06/03/2025 15:00 - United States

Today, I bought myself a Crumbl cookie as a treat for losing 20lbs. Upon seeing it, my mom screamed at me for cheating on my diet and how I was going to "gain all the weight back" and insisted she eat some of it to "help me out." She left behind a tiny morsel of the cookie with a chocolate chip chunk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 458

You deserved it 146

Girl power!

By Anonymous - 22/03/2025 22:00 - Canada

Today, I was trying to break up with my boyfriend over text. I was being really careful to phrase it nicely, and I hit send with a sigh of relief. Except I sent the text to my mom, who now keeps sending me unsolicited advice about my "love life" with an occasional "You go, girl!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 110

You deserved it 584

So selfish…

By Anonymous - 29/03/2025 17:00 - Canada - Saskatoon

Today, and for the past month, my younger sibling has been having suicidal thoughts. This is causing our parents to put them on a pedestal and treat them like a princess. They’ve made me give them my money to get themselves treats and they don’t even get what they say they’re going to get. FML

I agree, your life sucks 458

You deserved it 80

Bon appétit, boys

By Anonymous - 14/04/2025 20:00 - United States - New Orleans

Today, I made dinner for myself after a long day full of annoying family drama. I had the pan sizzling away when I went to grab some herbs from the fridge. As I turned around, I tripped on the rug, sending the entire frying pan of food flying into the air. It landed directly in front of my never-endingly hungry dogs, so I watched as my ruined dinner disappeared. FML

I agree, your life sucks 355

You deserved it 137

To catch a predator

By Yes I mean EX boyfriend - 19/04/2025 21:00 - United States - Edison

Today, I asked my boyfriend of several months about his history with girls. Almost every single one was a girl he met while they were underage, then fucked as soon as they turned 18. When I flipped my shit, he looked at me like I was crazy. "They were all legal, what's the issue?" YOU'RE A FUCKING GROOMER, DUDE! FML

I agree, your life sucks 427

You deserved it 143

Visual effect

By Anonymous - 25/04/2025 05:00 - United States

Today, my boyfriend suggested I try on some old clothes, after weeks of eating better and exercising. The good news: they fit again, and are even a little bit loose. The bad news: somehow, I look fatter now than I did before I started trying to lose weight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 369

You deserved it 84

Pushing it too far

By Anonymous - 30/04/2025 13:00 - United States

Today, I realized I might have some issues. After some amazing, satisfying rough sex, I started having incredible pain. I went to the hospital and discovered I'd asked him to beat me so hard that he'd cracked a rib. FML

I agree, your life sucks 159

You deserved it 563

Open wide

By Anonymous - 02/05/2025 15:00 - United States

Today, I had a dentist appointment and was running late. I frantically put on my shoes and rushed out of the house. When I arrived at the dentist’s office, they told me I was scheduled for a root canal, not a cleaning. I forgot to confirm the appointment. After I sat down in the chair, I tried to back out, but they were already numbing my gums. FML

I agree, your life sucks 124

You deserved it 520

Nervous

By Z…… - 08/05/2025 04:00 - China

Today, I went to the hospital for constant dizziness and insomnia, and was diagnosed with anxiety. I figured out that the main source of my anxiety is not my job but my boyfriend, who has avoidant personality, which makes him constantly refuse almost everything that I request. He's a guy who just doesn't know how to show his love. FML

I agree, your life sucks 335

You deserved it 220

The truth is out there

By Anonymous - 14/05/2025 23:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my husband is upset because somewhere out there, on a long forgotten social media site, is a picture of me mooning my geography teacher's house. He doesn’t like that my ass is on the internet. It’s a 30 year-old pic, out of focus, taken on a damn flip phone, and you can’t even see my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 466

You deserved it 148

Get on with it

By Anonymous - 31/05/2025 02:00 - United Kingdom

Today, our manager went on a screaming tantrum because he says none of us wants to work and we make him look bad to the bosses. Yeah, the reason we’re not working is because he forgot to order our steel this week. Can’t do custom welding without the materials, boss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 499

You deserved it 60

Thank you for your service

By Too Fat4 U - 01/07/2025 18:00 - United States

Today, I heard the guy I love talk to a friend of his. He was telling his friend how he appreciates all my attention, affection, and random gestures such as buying him lunch sometimes, but he’ll never see me in a romantic way because I’m “too fat for his taste.” I was basically used the entire time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 483

You deserved it 254

Just put it on, dude

By BING BING BING - 07/07/2025 16:00 - Japan - Tokyo

Today, I started a road trip with friends. The friend who is driving doesn't wear seat belts. BING BING BING. 400 miles to go. BING BING BING. FML

I agree, your life sucks 441

You deserved it 110

Shy guy

By Jen - 09/07/2025 04:00 - Romania

Today, I took my son to a birthday party. He spent the entire time clinging to my hand and refused to play with his friends, eat, or participate in activities. His friend tried to pull him away from me, but he refused to go. When we left, he started crying because he felt left out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 429

You deserved it 143

Betrayed

By Anonymous - 10/07/2025 21:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I found out that my husband never actually took our new healthy lifestyle seriously when his coworker told me that now, instead of at the house, he keeps beer and cigars at his brother's house, and visits the Burger King drive through every day for lunch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 374

You deserved it 223

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The Top

Today, it was the first time I was about to have sex with my girlfriend of 3 years, since I'm self-conscious about my size. When she saw it, she started laughing. She was mad I didn't want to continue. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 224

You deserved it 323

Today, I went with my sister to her company Christmas party. They had a gift raffle, my number was called and I won $25 for a local restaurant. A few moments later, the manager came over and said, "You don't work here? You can't have that" and took it from me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 557

You deserved it 7 155

Today, I came from a 12-hour shift to find my clothes and stuff outside, and the locks changed. I called my mom to let me in and she told me, “Hell the fuck no, I’m not having a drug addicted junkie up in my house! You’re no longer my daughter!” and hung up. Apparently, she found my stash of weed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 937

You deserved it 725

Today, a long standing fantasy was ruined when the only lasting impression from my first threesome was of how good my boyfriend is at giving other guys a blowjob. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 638

You deserved it 8 772

Today, I drove to the liquor store completely naked except for my dressing gown, with a carload of idiot stoners who ran in and stole vodka, tequila and whiskey. We drank in a bush. Last week I was a good citizen, and now I'm white trash. I'm not quite sure what happened in between. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 125

You deserved it 65 085

Today, tired of my husband complaining that my food was basic and bland, I went out of my way to learn to cook using new recipes and fresh ingredients. He complained that I took too long to make dinner, and that the food is "fancied up shit." He can cook his own meals now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 744

You deserved it 222