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Negotiate

By Anonymous - 28/04/2026 03:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I was hired under the previous terms and conditions that fixes my managers salary at 38 grand. This means that the little scrotes hired this year will start at 32 grand, but get yearly pay rises, so they will be earning more than me in only 5 years time, and sooner if they get promoted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 288

You deserved it 107

Late to the party

By Anonymous - 29/04/2026 22:00 - United States

Today, my ex-husband, who abandoned us after our son was paralyzed in an accident, contacted me to demand full custody because he found out that I got remarried. He doesn't want another man raising his son. FML

I agree, your life sucks 623

You deserved it 82

Love is love

By Anonymous - 12/05/2026 09:00 - United States - Indianapolis

Today, it's another day of being madly in love with a girl. We went on a date on Saturday and I’m so in love. I want to have her over to hang out but my parents would freak because I was raised in a devout Christian household. So much for my teenage love story… FML

I agree, your life sucks 324

You deserved it 145

Won't You Be My Neighbor?

By Mike - 14/05/2026 03:00 - Norway - Oppdal

Today, after months of peace and quiet since January, a new family moved into the apartment below me ten minutes before I was about to go to sleep. They've been here for 30 minutes and already they're stomping and banging doors all over the place. FML

I agree, your life sucks 311

You deserved it 79

Happy Father's Day

By Anonymous - 22/06/2026 09:00 - United States

Today, my mom said I was not allowed to spend Father's Day with my dad. When I tried to point out that I'm 24 years-old and she couldn't stop me, she disabled my car. I don't trust rideshare. FML

I agree, your life sucks 357

You deserved it 107

Nice try, Mom

By Anonymous - 29/06/2025 03:00

Today, my mom lost an argument and tried to ground me. I’m 43 years-old and own my own house, so yes, she actually tried to tell me to stay grounded in my own house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 487

You deserved it 73

The main event

By Anonymous - 15/07/2025 03:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I learned when you’re naked and walking to the shower, it’s not a good idea to spot loose screws on the curtain rail and quickly try to screw them back in, because odds are the curtains will fall down and you’ll be left with your boobs out next to the window looking out onto the main road. FML

I agree, your life sucks 325

You deserved it 194

My brain hurts

By Team - 20/07/2025 12:00 - Germany

Today, I feel so tired and hungover after going to the office summer party yesterday. I had no alcohol to drink and I left at 10pm, way earlier than all my team. My team drank a lot and stayed until after 1am. They all showed up earlier and looking better than me, while I'm a trainwreck with a bad headache. FML

I agree, your life sucks 399

You deserved it 114

Sounds delightful

By Why? Fucking nerd - 27/07/2025 20:00 - United States - New York

Today, I stupidly let my friend, who is obsessed with wacky YouTube music channels, have access to a playlist for my party. We ended up listening to Simpsons quotes cut up and spliced into EDM. FML

I agree, your life sucks 92

You deserved it 374

How to make it awkward for everyone

By Anonymous - 09/08/2025 03:00 - United States

Today, I got a haircut at a fancy salon and made small talk with the stylist. While she washed my hair, I said, “Wow, this is better than my girlfriend does it.” She replied, “That’s because I’m a professional. Also, I’m your girlfriend’s cousin.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 114

You deserved it 465

Name that tune!

By Anonymous - 06/09/2025 15:00 - United States - Toledo

Today, I signed up for karaoke at a bar, thinking I’d picked a fun, easy song. When it started playing, I realized I'd unknowingly chosen the eight-minute extended remix with two full guitar solos. I had to awkwardly sway on stage for five minutes while everyone drank their beers silently. FML

I agree, your life sucks 143

You deserved it 372

Slacking or what?

By BarneyR - 09/09/2025 20:00 - United States

Today, I spent 15 minutes trying to log into my email at work. Frustrated, I reset my password. As soon as I finished, IT called to remind me that the reason I couldn’t log in was because I was typing my Netflix password the entire time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 76

You deserved it 392

I have needs

By why - 11/09/2025 20:00

Today, as always, my boyfriend has a micropenis. He found my dildo and started crying because it was bigger than him. I love him to death and would never cheat on him, but sometimes I just need to be filled up. Am I wrong? FML

I agree, your life sucks 556

You deserved it 152

TGIF

By Anonymous - 26/09/2025 00:00

Today, I ended a presentation with what I thought would be a mic-drop moment. I said, “Thank you for your time,” clicked the slide remote dramatically, and walked straight into a glass wall instead of the exit door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 110

You deserved it 446

Let's celebrate

By Anonymous - 29/09/2025 15:00

Today, my son had a baby so I poured out the last of the bottle of scotch bought by my grandfather around about 1910. There was just enough for two glasses. I took a sip and spat it out, leading to my son confessing that he drank it as a teenager and replaced it with god knows what brown liquid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 511

You deserved it 99

Do you have no sense of smell?

By Anonymous - 01/10/2025 09:00

Today, I tried to surprise my partner by lighting candles all over the living room. It looked magical… until one candle melted the TV remote into a puddle of plastic. We spent our romantic evening trying to Google “How to change channels without a remote.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 99

You deserved it 454

Stranded

By Yudith - 27/10/2025 00:00

Today, I am 9,958 miles away from home, it's 3 pm, and I have to find a store that sells electrical tape because my cats damaged my computer's charging cord back home. I just saw the copper inside the wire and I'm lucky the damn thing didn't catch fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 305

You deserved it 127

Small talk is hell

By Anonymous - 22/11/2025 15:00

Today, I got stuck making small talk with a neighbor I barely know. In a panic, I said “Have a good night!” even though it was 10 a.m. She corrected me with, “Morning,” and my brain responded, “Happy… time?” I swear she slowly backed away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 253

You deserved it 182

Hot guy alert

By so fucked - 24/11/2025 09:00

Today, I realized my dad was right about everything: the hot guy who was attractive because my dad hated him so much really was a scumbag. I found out after he got me pregnant, vanished, and then learned that he also got my sister and cousin pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 148

You deserved it 636

Simply having a wonderful Xmas time!

By Anonymous - 10/12/2025 09:00

Today, I came home and told my husband that I got my own Christmas present so he would have something to give me at the family gathering. He asked me if it was wrapped. I said it was. He said, "Nice." No follow up questions at all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 363

You deserved it 131

The more you know

By pedant - 24/12/2025 12:00

Today, I confidently corrected someone’s pronunciation of a word during a conversation. They pulled out their phone, looked it up, and turned the screen towards me. I was wrong. They said, “No worries!” while absolutely worrying me forever. FML

I agree, your life sucks 72

You deserved it 582

Poop chute

By Anonymous - 04/01/2026 03:00

Today, after her shower, my wife bent over naked in front of me so I went to dive in face-first, and she farted in my face for laughs. The thing is I physically saw some pieces of shit fly out and land on my shoe, and this was after her shower when she should have been clean as a whistle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 387

You deserved it 161

I should've known

By I hate it too - 25/01/2026 12:00

Today, and every day for the past five months since I got married, whenever my husband and I try to have sex, I think of it as "wifely duties" and it turns me off so much. I can't stop, and we haven't had sex once. My husband is frustrated and angry, and keeps commenting that he should have known this would happen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 101

You deserved it 532

Bent out of shape

By Anonymous - 28/01/2026 22:00

Today, my stepmom noticed that I lean more to one side when I walk. I'd never noticed this. I've had right hip pain and both my parents agree this was to compensate for that. I've also been doing stretches for a few days but they haven't helped. FML

I agree, your life sucks 269

You deserved it 72

Assumptions

By Girlboss - 06/02/2026 20:00

Today, I was conducting a meeting via Zoom when I saw one of my subordinates drinking from a brightly colored can that looked like beer. I loudly called him out, interrupting one of my colleagues. He held it up and clearly visible was "SELTZER" on the can. Not even hard seltzer, just regular. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50

You deserved it 796

Mix and match

By Nicky - 10/02/2026 09:00

Today, I started to paint the top of a piece of furniture. My husband had painted the sides a few months ago. I sanded/prepped. He went to buy the paint he had used. I was half done when I stepped back and saw that the colors didn't match. He forgot what he used, so he bought whatever, and "thought it would be OK." FML

I agree, your life sucks 349

You deserved it 93

That was quick

By Anonymous - 13/02/2026 22:00

Today, my ex started dating the girl he kept telling me not to worry about. We broke up three hours ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 408

You deserved it 68

Digging for gold

By PUKEATRONIC BARF-O-MATIC SPEWORAMA - 17/02/2026 12:00

Today, after a bad head cold, my boyfriend woke up, shambled to the bathroom and sniffled. He then pulled the biggest booger I've ever seen out of his nose; it looked like a giant slug. He took a picture, then set it as his lock screen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 353

You deserved it 77

Gamers rise up

By Anonymous - 21/02/2026 03:00

Today, my girlfriend destroyed my Xbox, because somewhere in her psycho brain she actually thought it would get me to pay more attention to her, even though I only play 3 hours on a Sunday. Joke's on her, I bought a new one, she’s back on the streets, and I play it a whole lot more now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 508

You deserved it 116

Toxic

By Anonymous - 26/02/2026 12:00

Today, my wife is now so into her toxic feminist rubbish that she tried to convince me our son uses weaponised incompetence against her. Um, he’s 4, there’s nothing weaponised about his incompetence, he just doesn’t know how to do a lot of things properly, because he’s 4 years-old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 639

You deserved it 91

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The Top

Today, the elderly lady I work for got mad at me, all because I wouldn't feed her imaginary friend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 059

You deserved it 1 375

Today, I sharted during my wedding vows. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 751

You deserved it 5 137

Today, I was practicing for a choir concert that I have next week. My mom walked into my room and listened to me for a little while. After I finished the last song, she smiled, patted me on the head and said, "It's okay honey, I can't sing either." FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 956

You deserved it 2 986

Today, my dad finally used the electric shaver I bought him for Christmas. My dog now has bald patches. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 279

You deserved it 3 481

Today, as I was trying to get out of bed, my foot began sliding across the floor. I instinctively tried to balance myself, only for the new angle to cause my right hip to painfully and loudly dislocate, making me fall face-forward into my dresser. Back stuck in bed after three days of freedom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 163

You deserved it 402

Today, I confronted my neighbor because he'd been telling my kids that global warming was a myth. He responded with, "Whine all you want, but the swamp is draining and your bullshit liberal narrative is finally going down." He then dumped his trash on my lawn and retreated to his house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 981

You deserved it 1 240