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Hey everyone! Op here, thought I'd clear some things up. I had my phone on me but it was dead that night. I actually saw the girl again last night at another party, I told her the story and she have me her number again! Everything worked out for the best I guess, Thanks for the funny comments everyone!!!

By whyarewerelated - 08/09/2011 15:41 - United Kingdom

Today, I was working alone in the office with my brother. He's run out of work to do, so has been singing Disney songs loudly and badly, throwing stationery at me, and just now snuck up on me from behind and wrapped duct tape round my face. It's just us in the office next week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 119

You deserved it 2 865

By hailsatan666 - 09/06/2012 18:43 - Ireland - Dublin

Today, I found out through Instagram that the guy I'm dating has a wife and two kids. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 433

You deserved it 4 306

Think of the environment

By Anonyname - 18/05/2014 19:14 - United Kingdom

Today, my husband and I announced at a family get-together that I'm pregnant with our fourth child. My dad sighed, and spent the rest of the evening acting moody, and eventually muttering about how he'd raised a "damned broodmare." FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 929

You deserved it 10 635

By ThisPerson - 19/05/2011 10:11 - Canada

Today, my 53 year-old art teacher told me she's excited about going clubbing this weekend. I'm excited about watching a special on the History Channel. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 281

You deserved it 6 702

By jill - 25/02/2014 16:59 - United States - Salt Lake City

Today, I was talking to my boyfriend about some recent family drama my sister has been causing. He quickly lost interest and started jacking off right next to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 107

You deserved it 8 193

By gonkc - 04/03/2009 07:05 - United States

Today, to remind myself to write a check for my speech and debate team (Lynbrook Speech and Debate), I wrote "LSD money" on the back of my hand. The Vice Principal saw it, dragged me to the office, and called my parents. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 870

You deserved it 15 213

By Anonymous - 23/05/2010 23:00 - Canada

Today, was parent appreciation day at my daughter's KG class. On the stage, each child was asked to define each parent in one word. When it was my daughter's turn, she looked at me hard, thinking. Finally, in the end she said, "My daddy is very fat." Everybody stared. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 117

You deserved it 7 850

By Anonymous - 08/02/2012 17:55 - United Kingdom

Today, I accidentally dropped a sculpture at college, and it broke. Some weirdo wearing a pink cape and a fake moustache bitched me out and told me not to be such an attention-seeking drama queen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 054

You deserved it 3 517

By Username - 14/03/2011 06:53

Today, my ex-girlfriend moved out. I came back to a sparsely furnished home; she'd even taken the shower head, my beard trimmer, and the soap from the bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 124

You deserved it 5 668

By roommateprobssss:( - 11/12/2012 15:57 - United States

Today, my roommate pressed "snooze" on his alarm 14 times. I counted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 302

You deserved it 2 637

By somewhatlucky - 27/12/2011 09:42 - United States

Today, my mom convinced me that she and my dad were getting divorced. I have anxiety problems, so I had a panic attack. She then laughed, and said, "Just kidding, I wanted to see your reaction. It's the best so far." FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 097

You deserved it 3 882

By jailofc - 07/11/2012 05:48 - United States - Flagstaff

Today, I was bitched out by my supervisor because of my lack of "customer service" skills. I work at a jail and all my "customers" are criminals. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 240

You deserved it 4 696

jailofc tells us more.

jailofc 1

Thursday 8 November 2012 2:01

Hey everyone I am the OP, I am a CO at a very "nice" jail as I like to think, we treat our inmates with respect as long as they show respect back ( I didn't mean to start a political debate here haha). Basically, I thought it was stupid to be bitched out about my "customer service" because that is a very strange thing to say about a jail, where SAFETY and SECURITY should be priority. And frankly, I don't believe my *accused* criminals should be served in any other way besides providing safety and security.

By smileytheface - 06/12/2011 03:54 - United States

Today, my car got stolen. While I was standing ten feet away from it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 763

You deserved it 7 185

By Kingofbosses - 22/08/2013 05:31 - United States

Today, I moved into my university dorm a week before classes start. Everyone kept giving me weird looks as they watched me move my stuff in. Finally, one of my dorm mates asked me if I knew that school had actually started last week. I didn't. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 511

You deserved it 16 565

By hot4donny - 12/11/2010 02:40 - United States

Today, my family and I were watching Mulan, and I mentioned that I've always had a crush on Shang. After going into detail about how I would "marry his sexy voice" I decided to look up this mystery dream man. To my surprise he was played by Donny Osmond. I will never live this down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 032

You deserved it 27 019

You OK dude?

By dragos_dgt - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - Romania

Today, at work, my boss stared at me from behind while I made hand gestures and noises at a toaster. I was pretending to be Magneto. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 050

You deserved it 33 785

By Mandy - 09/05/2009 06:19 - United States

Today, I finished a drawing that I spent over 14 hours working on for my mom for Mother's Day. I took it outside to seal it with fixative. I took of the clear lid, shook the can, then sprayed red spray paint all over my art. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 749

You deserved it 24 688

By fuzzy1895 - 11/09/2010 05:31 - United States

Today, I found out why I had been waking up feeling like crap for the past week. I found tufts of cat fur in my pillow case, and I am allergic to cats. My little brother thought I would get so sick, and he could have my XBox. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 397

You deserved it 2 598

By radiating - 09/03/2012 04:53

Today, my hay-fever started. I'm five months pregnant, and every time I cough, sneeze or blow my nose I either fart or wet myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 807

You deserved it 3 222

By chiktikka - 14/01/2014 22:06 - United Kingdom

Today, my dad asked me to lend him some money to buy his medication, since he's all but broke right now. He returned with nothing but a bottle of tequila. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 162

You deserved it 8 425

Nervous?

By Anonymous - 28/02/2015 14:16 - Denmark - Nørresundby

Today, I sharted during my wedding vows. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 753

You deserved it 5 138

By Anonymous - 25/10/2013 21:39 - United States - Cincinnati

Today, my now ex-boyfriend actually claimed that his cheating didn't count because A) the other girl is his lab partner, and B) she's overweight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 699

You deserved it 3 795

Now watching

By Anonymous - 14/01/2011 23:07 - United Kingdom

Today, I came home, turned on my laptop, and turned the TV on mute so I could check my email. My mom came home an hour later, took a look at me on the couch, then the TV, and asked what on earth I was watching. I looked up from my laptop and realized it was porn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 802

You deserved it 32 414

By Oh hells no - 16/09/2013 07:26 - United States - Los Altos

Today, my girlfriend came home with a huge bouquet of roses. They were from an admirer, brainwashing her to think I'm a terrible boyfriend for not buying her flowers like he did. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 595

You deserved it 12 164

Hereditary?

By andy - 01/01/2010 14:12 - United States

Today, my 4 year-old daughter was looking at a magazine cover with a well endowed model showing off her cleavage. She looked at me and said, "Mommy, when I grow up, will I have big round boobies like her or tiny pointy ones like you?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 576

You deserved it 4 819

By Broon - 25/05/2012 19:55 - United Kingdom - Leeds

Today, on the brink of a stiflingly hot summer, I've come to a terrible realisation. It seems the apartment I've just moved into has been specially insulated to trap enough heat inside for the occupants to survive the planet's next Ice Age. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 985

You deserved it 2 536

By Noff - 05/07/2011 09:42 - Australia

Today, I received a text at 6am from my boss stating that my services are no longer required. He couldn't even wait until I was awake to fire me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 688

You deserved it 3 257

Noff tells us more.

Noff 6

Sunday 24 July 2011 2:48

Fortunately it was nothing to do with my work ethic or wrong doings on my part. The business simply couldn't support the amount of staff it had at the time.