By Nobody - 10/10/2009 12:07 - Singapore
The Top
By Anonymous - 19/02/2013 06:19 - United States - New Castle
Great start
By siggit - 10/09/2009 15:58 - United States
Heavy
By Betty - 17/03/2010 18:26 - United States
Whodunnit
By emily - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States
Happy Valentine's Day anyway
By Brokenheartz - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom
Benched
By fmlprobot - 04/06/2009 23:48 - United States
By TinyDancer22 - 25/11/2009 16:57 - United States
TinyDancer22 tells us more.
By SkeetinKeaton - 05/06/2013 15:24 - United States
By Sarah - 12/06/2012 16:59 - United States - Pipersville
By Jessica - 21/10/2009 18:31 - United Kingdom
By cunts, cunts everywhere - 11/03/2013 11:57 - Australia
PMS
By unappreciated husband - 28/03/2014 21:43 - United States - Pullman
By Rob - 18/12/2013 17:47 - United States - Franklin
Drama!
By fuckparents - 09/01/2012 23:01 - United States
By Anonymous - 04/01/2011 20:09 - Reserved
By Anonymous - 13/12/2014 20:21 - United States
By Rapunzel1974 - 01/09/2013 04:29 - United States - Gulfport
Rapunzel1974 tells us more.
I'm the OP. I'm the one with the Fabulous Fingerbiters. These chickens aren't food: they're overindulged pets. Each one has a name, so chicken stew isn't an option. I've named them after various vaudeville stars or actresses because they're a lot of feathery drama queens. Actually, biting the hand that feeds them is right in line with the entertainment-industry theme I chose when naming them. A chicken bite from a baby bird isn't really painful at all because their little beaks are so soft. Even an adult bird's peck isn't painful in the same way a dog or cat bite is painful. They can't break the skin, although if they get you in the face it can leave a scratch or welt. A parrot, by contrast, can take your finger off. Chickens just aren't strong enough. These are going to be lovely laying hens. They're just a bit cheeky. I think I can break them of the habit by switching for a while to grass instead of mealworms, by *not* dropping the goodies no matter what, and moving on to the second phase of training, where I train them to hop onto my lap and sit there to be fed and petted. When training a chicken, it's important to use food as a reward. They're not like dogs and they don't consider attention a reward. They don't even consider petting a reward until they're conditioned to do so, because it's not a normal behavior or sensation for them. But it's straight-up operant conditioning, right out of B.F. Skinner
By Amberain - 16/08/2012 15:16 - United Kingdom - Widnes
By smiles22 - 27/11/2010 06:38 - United States
By panicked headaches - 07/12/2015 19:04 - United States - East Lansing
Haute cuisine
By youwouldbeacat - 28/04/2009 02:38 - United States
By Razi_tail - 25/06/2014 04:13 - United States - Nixa
Razi_tail tells us more.
I figured one of two things would happen: 1. He was in the same area we got separated or 2. He went back to the car. I chose to search the first option before getting a phone call that somebody found my dog. He has 3 ways to id him: dog park tag, name tag, and microchipped. It was the park tag that somebody had called on.
By schoolkiddo - 08/09/2010 07:35 - Australia
By drunkinriot - 03/07/2011 23:04 - United States
By Krissy. - 31/03/2009 07:04 - United States
By Anonymous - 15/06/2011 13:37 - Denmark
By Anonymous - 04/03/2012 07:07 - United States
By ClydeBarrow - 29/08/2009 23:44 - United States
ClydeBarrow tells us more.
He refused to go with me on vacation because he said that Italy was too hot. You can ask him why he didn't want to go. I put the chicken in a container and handed it to him because I figured if he wanted to keep it lying around the house while I was gone, he wouldn't mind eating it while he was finding a place that would take his lazy ass in.
By whoreticulturalist - 27/10/2012 19:18 - United Kingdom - Plymouth
Keywords
Yes I have a towel in my car. I bring my dog to the beach all the time and use towels to cover the seats.