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The top of the day The top of the week The top of the month The top of the year The all-time greatest FMLs

Happy new year, huh?

By Anonymous - 02/01/2025 03:00 - United States - Tucson

Today, my husband of 12 years announced that he wants a divorce and that he hadn't liked me in YEARS. FML

I agree, your life sucks 573

You deserved it 145

Working from home rules!

By Anonymous - 22/02/2021 02:01

Today, my husband said a cheery, "Hi!" to me after 4 hours of nonstop Zoom calls. I spun around happily and greeted him back. Turns out he just joined another Zoom call. FML

I agree, your life sucks 928

You deserved it 145

How to dismantle flat pack furniture

By Anonymous - 08/01/2025 12:00 - United States

Today, I spent hours assembling a bookshelf I'd bought online. Once it was finally done, I realized I’d put the back panel on backwards, so now there’s a "Made in China" label facing the room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 161

You deserved it 443

Sounds like a keeper

By Anonymous - 16/08/2026 12:00 - United States - Baltimore

Today, I was trying pillow talk with this guy I met at the bar that night. I’m thinking he’s going to say something cute, but he told me, "One time, I was bored, so I went to a liquor store and robbed an Asian man and put his bag over his head." I just wanted to pillow talk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 280

You deserved it 135

Reel to real

By Anonymous - 05/08/2023 20:00 - Tunisia - El Fahs

Today, the date I was supposed to go on got pushed back for a week, because she told me she was too sick to go out. A bit later, she posted a reel of her out with friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 796

You deserved it 95

By crap - 02/07/2019 00:01

Today, I was tired from an all-nighter I'd pulled because I thought I had the next four days off work. I got called in, and went because I have bills to pay. However, the amount of energy drinks I drank to stay on top of my job duties gave me such bad diarrhea, I had to go home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 566

You deserved it 665

Wrong window, sorry

By Anonymous - 12/08/2023 16:00

Today, I accidently sent that my butthole was on fire to a group chat with my boss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 219

You deserved it 784

By comparison, I'm doing OK

By Anonymous - 29/05/2022 12:00

Today, with my relationship in shambles, I reached out to my cousin who has been separated for a year. I asked her if she had any regrets, she said, “I wish I’d done what he said and sucked off his friend.” My spending issues now seems manageable. FML

I agree, your life sucks 936

You deserved it 198

Classifieds

By Anonymous - 18/08/2023 06:00 - Germany

Today, my online ad was deleted for being in the wrong category. I'm looking for a good home for two old horses, so I'd put the ad in the category “Horses”. Maybe I should try again under “Lawn Mowers”? FML

I agree, your life sucks 633

You deserved it 72

We need to see the video!

By Lightweight - 08/03/2021 20:02

Today, I found out that while some people make out with others when drunk, I apparently sing a weird mash up between "Bad Romance" and Terry Pratchett’s Hedgehog song. My friends recorded it and posted it on Instagram. FML

I agree, your life sucks 704

You deserved it 370

Outrage monger

By Anonymous - 22/08/2023 20:00

Today, my sister blamed me for everything again. We're twins and have the same friends, but they all like her better because she's an extrovert and I'm an introvert, and I'm sick of her getting mad at me, copying me, blaming me and making my life miserable for no reason. Why does everyone think I'm so pathetic? FML

I agree, your life sucks 723

You deserved it 185

Congratulations!

By Anonymous - 30/01/2025 15:00 - United States

Today, I spent practically an hour practicing my acceptance speech in front of the mirror after being nominated for "Employee of the Month." It turns out that they were just reading the names alphabetically, and I wasn’t even in the top five. FML

I agree, your life sucks 340

You deserved it 216

By Anonymous - 19/07/2019 06:01

Today, my car horn got some sort of short and started beeping every 20 seconds or so. On the way to get it fixed, I got stuck in bumper to bumper traffic. Behind a cop car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 040

You deserved it 132

Now you know

By Ouchies - 18/03/2021 17:01

Today, I went to the beach. My friend decided it would be funny to push me into a bunch of Portuguese Man-O-War jellyfish washed up on the shore. Did you know their tentacles can sting even if they’re dead? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 181

You deserved it 97

Speed 3

By ihatewasps - 30/08/2023 20:00

Today, I was stuck on a bus for an hour with a wasp buzzing around. I have a severe phobia of wasps. I was crying by time I reached my destination. FML

I agree, your life sucks 595

You deserved it 215

The '80s called

By Anonymous - 20/03/2021 13:59

Today, I received three phone calls and three long and rather monotonous messages on my answering machine. Literally monotonous. As in, repeating the same tone over and over. The caller was a fax machine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 796

You deserved it 103

Mo money, mo problems

By Anonymous - 17/02/2025 22:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I felt things were getting serious enough with my boyfriend that it was only fair to tell him I have a lot of credit card debt from helping out my ill mom before she died. He broke up with me and called me a gold digger, even though I didn’t ask him for a single penny. FML

I agree, your life sucks 590

You deserved it 108

By furrette - 20/09/2013 17:35 - France

Today, I learned that a female ferret can die if she doesn't have sex with a male for one year. Then I realized that if I were a ferret, I would have already died twice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 738

You deserved it 110

Shut up and look out

By Bugs - 14/06/2022 04:00

Today, I was hanging out with a friend, and we were on our way to the nearest frozen yogurt place. The second we got out of the car, I immediately complained about how hot and bright it was outside. I was so busy complaining, I didn’t hear my friend telling me to watch out for the curb. I landed face first. FML

I agree, your life sucks 202

You deserved it 1 477

Is this legal?

By John Trent - 06/09/2023 14:00 - United Kingdom - Trowbridge

Today, at my grandad's funeral, as my dad and aunt poured his ashes into the hole, a strong gust of wind blew the ashes into my throat. I choked on my grandad. What made it worse was that the vicar had to stop her prayer to laugh. FML

I agree, your life sucks 790

You deserved it 125

Anyone could've waltzed in

By DTMM - 15/09/2023 08:00

Today, I was looking for my condo keys, thinking I had left them in my mailbox on the first floor the night before. Leaving to check, I realized I'd forgot to take them out of my door when I had come in, leaving them in the keyhole. FML

I agree, your life sucks 236

You deserved it 553

Roadblocked

By Anonymous - 28/02/2025 03:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I got out of my house at 6:30am to find that some road workers had dug out a trench in the road right in front of my driveway, then fucked off, leaving their van up the street. There are no buses within walking distance so I missed a full day of work and my boss is pissed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 484

You deserved it 68

Appalling behavior

By he didnt know - 02/03/2025 20:00 - United States - San Diego

Today, I showed my best friend a picture of my new girlfriend. He gave me a high five, followed up with, "Looks like we're Eskimo bros!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 346

You deserved it 134

Cheeky

By Anonymous - 21/06/2022 10:00

Today, my sister and I look enough alike she was able to steal my ID to go and get a tattoo at 15 years-old. Our mom is furious and also blames me, as though I willingly let her use my ID. FML

I agree, your life sucks 926

You deserved it 151

Nicked

By TheJeremyMoe - 11/08/2019 14:00 - United States

Today, my bike was stolen. Partially. Since I always locked it up, some asswipe thought it would be funny to steal the handlebar stem and the seat, leaving the actual handlebar dangling by the brake cables. Since there was no way to steer or sit, I had to carry my bike one mile back to my dorm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 729

You deserved it 123

HOA blues

By Anonymous - 22/06/2022 02:00

Today, a neighbor chose today of all days to drop off her junk in front of my condo/apartment. My relative owns and I rent. I got a letter from a different neighbor, stating that if I continue this egregious behavior of using my apartment as a trash dumpster, she will be forced to report me to the HOA. FML

I agree, your life sucks 783

You deserved it 194

Job performance

By AZlan - 10/03/2025 15:00 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I was in a long meeting and desperately needed to fart. I carefully tried to release it slowly, but of course, it was the loudest fart I've ever made. Just after it happened, my boss looked at me and said, “That's the best contribution you've ever made in one of these meetings.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 384

You deserved it 353

How awkward can you get?

By Anonymous - 13/03/2025 00:00 - United States

Today, I was entertaining my date by suggesting a movie on Netflix. I confidently picked one that I thought was new and amazing. After the first 10 minutes, I realized it was a terrible sequel to a movie I'd completely forgotten about. I spent the rest of the movie in silence, pretending I was into it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 92

You deserved it 522

Single and ready to Pringle

By Snanonymous - 04/06/2022 00:00

Today, I hit it off with this really sweet, attractive guy. He asked me a question that I felt uncomfortable answering, and I had a complete mental breakdown like a menstruating teenager when I declined to answer. This is why I'm single. FML

I agree, your life sucks 650

You deserved it 463

Splish splash, I was taking a bath

By Anonymous - 15/04/2021 19:59 - Canada

Today, my neighbour decided to get high while leaving his bathtub running, resulting in passing out and starting a flood in the hallways. FML

I agree, your life sucks 984

You deserved it 64

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The Top

Today, my store manager told me I was fired. I'm not sure what's more insulting - that he'd fire me, or that he forgot I haven't worked there in four months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 055

You deserved it 3 795

Today, in the middle of class, I sneezed out the biggest, wettest booger I have ever seen in my life. I'd used the inside of my elbow to cover my nose, but I neglected to notice that my hair had fallen over my shoulder. I couldn't get it all out of my hair and I don't think any believed me when I said it was hair gel. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 194

You deserved it 5 978

Today, I moved into a new downstairs flat. I promptly fell down said stairs. I have a broken pelvis now and can't walk or go down steps for 3 months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 707

You deserved it 364

Today, I drove 3 hours to get to a class, just to have the professor leave a note on the classroom door saying that she wasn't coming. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 675

You deserved it 121

Today, my girlfriend woke me up by punching me in the balls. It’s OK, I didn’t want kids anyway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 585

You deserved it 212

Today, I went to a job interview and tried to break the ice by making a joke. In doing so, I accidentally insulted the interviewer’s favorite football team. He spent the next 10 minutes explaining why I was wrong. FML

I agree, your life sucks 133

You deserved it 534