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The Cure's "Why Can't I Be You?"

By Anonymous - 11/03/2025 03:00 - United States - Edison

Today, I saw this other trans man at college. He comes from a very accepting family, who let him go on testosterone. He’s so handsome, I’m so jealous. I get an ache in my chest when I see him. I can't help but think, "How is this fair? Why can’t I be that handsome?" I feel so disgusting for being jealous of him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 386

You deserved it 479

It's not called a pandemic for nothing

By Anonymous - 15/04/2021 13:59

Today, I found out that no matter how careful you are during this pandemic, wearing a mask, washing hands, and social distancing, you can still get COVID. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 087

You deserved it 284

Who'd want that?

By ... - 14/04/2021 17:00

Today, I found out that a burglar broke into my house. Since I didn't have expensive stuff for them to steal, they took my Fleshlight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 189

You deserved it 216

Splat!

By Anonymous - 02/07/2022 14:00

Today, because I have an inner ear problem which gives me major vertigo and nausea, I spontaneously projectile vomited all over my bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 821

You deserved it 93

Well travelled

By Loserville - 05/10/2023 06:30 - Australia

Today, we were flying to Australia from New York with an 8-hour layover in New Zealand. We didn’t know where the hotel was, so we caught a taxi. The hotel was literally across from where the taxi picked us up. He did a full loop of the airport, dropped us off where he picked us up, and charged $50 due to "airport tax." FML

I agree, your life sucks 413

You deserved it 986

Let it all dangle

By Anonymous - 08/10/2023 14:30 - United States

Today, my 76 year-old mother-in-law stayed the night at our house. I bumped into her on the way to the bathroom during the night. She discovered I sleep naked. Sadly, I found out that she does, too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 371

You deserved it 811

What's worse?

By Feeling unattractive - 11/10/2023 20:00

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend masturbating to pictures of Olivia Rodrigo on his computer. I don’t know what’s worse, the fact that he hasn’t made love to me in weeks because he “couldn’t get horny” or that he’s 38 and apparently sexually attracted to a teenybopper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 609

You deserved it 157

Reuniting with trauma

By Anonymous - 05/04/2025 03:00 - Sweden

Today, people in my class reunion bullied me because of a skin condition I have called xeroderma pigmentosum. It makes it so that I get sunburned really easily, and they did it just like they did back in middle school. I hated my life then but when I heard them say it again, I just started crying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 491

You deserved it 97

Driven

By Anonymous - 04/09/2019 16:03

Today, I drove 3 hours to get to a class, just to have the professor leave a note on the classroom door saying that she wasn't coming. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 675

You deserved it 121

Congratulations, I guess

By Dead Inside Uncle - 14/10/2023 10:00 - United States

Today, my depression has seemingly hit a new low when I barely reacted at all to my sister excitedly telling me that I'm going to be an uncle. I'm not going to be a fun one at this rate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 637

You deserved it 163

Truth bomb

By Hoo boy - 09/04/2025 09:00 - United States - New York

Today, my wife was snoring in my ear. I nudged her, and she rolled over and started talking in her sleep. I listened, because it was funny, until I heard, quite clearly, "My husband is a dumbass, he's got no idea." No idea of what, exactly? FML

I agree, your life sucks 450

You deserved it 94

It was an accident, I swear

By Anonymous - 28/06/2022 00:00

Today, my new girlfriend has a purse dog, a chihuahua. The thing is so small, I didn’t see it, tripped over it, and my knee broke its back. It had to be put down. I don’t have a girlfriend anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 174

You deserved it 392

LARP a love life, loser

By Anonymous - 16/07/2022 00:00

Today, my boyfriend and I have reached the final nail in the coffin. He rather roleplay with strangers in Grand Theft Auto 5 than even talk to me on the phone, and he speaks to me like I'm gum under his shoe, and tells me we don't need to talk every day or do anything together. Before we used to every day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 358

You deserved it 279

Not funny, Graham

By Anonymous - 25/10/2023 22:00

Today, I was at the gym when my dad thought it would be funny to push me into the ladies' changing room. Over a dozen naked women didn’t think it was funny. I was slapped twice, police were called, I’m now banned from my favourite gym for life, and even my wife is giving me dirty looks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 987

You deserved it 134

The golden child

By Anonymous - 25/07/2022 12:00

Today, at lunch with my mother, she disclosed that she made some changes to her will. Instead of the previous even split to all siblings, 90% of the sizable estate will now go to my brother. He has already been living off my mother's property for the last 10 years, and reaping the benefits of being expense free. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 042

You deserved it 136

So… what now?

By Anonymous - 27/10/2023 04:00

Today, after we recently married, my husband wanted kids and I didn’t, so we agreed we’d have at least 5 years child free, then have one child and one only. I just tested pregnant. Despite all our precautions, I actually got pregnant on our honeymoon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 411

You deserved it 325

This season on Succession…

By DeathBySquirrelsShallBeHis - 10/07/2022 10:00 - Canada - Ottawa

Today, my dad started openly playing favorites among his kids, just to start drama. I had to warn my little sister - the favorite - that he was using her senior photos to do it. I'm gonna kill him, and get her a better dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 761

You deserved it 149

Dads gonna dad

By biggrl - 11/05/2021 08:00 - South Africa

Today, I had to ask my dad to drop me off at my doctor's appointment. He insisted on coming up to the waiting room with me. When my doctor came out, he greeted her with, "Hi, I'm the dad, but I won't sit in because she's a 'big girl now'." I'm 21, and I was at my gyno check-up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 381

You deserved it 135

Control your guns

By Anonymous - 01/08/2022 04:00

Today, I dropped a box from my dad's attic and blew a hole in my foot. I now have 3 toes missing because dad forgot he once wrestled a gun away from some kid trying to steal his wallet, meant to give it to the police, but kept forgetting, and it wound up in the attic for 11 years until today. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 342

You deserved it 140

Flimsy excuse

By Anonymous - 04/05/2025 22:00 - Czechia - Prague

Today, my fiancee broke up with me, all because I told her I couldn't install a home security system, fix a camera, and entertain her son in the hour before I went to work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 581

You deserved it 85

Cats are like drugs

By Anonymous - 22/05/2021 22:01 - Turkey - Adana

Today, I'd agreed to watch my friend's cats for a few weeks. I'd always promised myself not to become a "crazy cat lady" like her. It's the third day and I danced with the cats and apologised to them for my bad dancing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 809

You deserved it 519

Development purgatory

By hulfilvia - 16/05/2025 00:00

Today, I have been working on making a video game for three years, I'm tired and I want to quit, but the sunk cost is too much and I can't let it go. FML

I agree, your life sucks 414

You deserved it 178

Communication breakdown

By Anonymous - 18/11/2023 06:00

Today, I tried to tell my boyfriend how I have been feeling recently in our relationship. He lashed out at me, saying I was just accusing him of being the bad guy. I guess I'll never express my feelings ever again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 535

You deserved it 187

Hey

By Anonymous - 27/05/2021 06:01 - Canada

Today, I decided to step out of my comfort zone and talk to my coworker because people have been saying I’m too shy. I say, "Hey" to a girl and she made fun of my voice. She’s the one who told me to talk more. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 153

You deserved it 97

Text arguments are the worst

By Anonymous - 14/08/2022 04:00 - Singapore - Singapore

Today, I was upset with my girlfriend, but I didn't want to start an argument with her, so I didn't reply to her message immediately. She asked me what happened. I hesitated but explained nonetheless. She remained silent for almost an hour before replying she's busy at work, so she can't reply. Then why did she even bother to ask? FML

I agree, your life sucks 739

You deserved it 252

Dirty mind

By how are we related?! - 14/08/2022 00:00

Today, I realized just how fragile and idiotic my brother is. At a family get together, I bought a giant box of popsicles for all the kids to enjoy. He refused to let his sons have one, because according to him, “it looks gay”. I swear my mother found him by the road or something. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 082

You deserved it 114

Disappointment

By Anonymous - 29/05/2025 22:00 - United States - Anaheim

Today, I feel like I’ve failed as a parent. My brilliant college-bound daughter is throwing her life and future away to play “step-mama” with her scummy dropout boyfriend. The loser is 17 with three kids but my daughter is absolutely smitten. Neither my husband nor I can make her change her mind. FML

I agree, your life sucks 641

You deserved it 96

By anxious spaghetti - 03/12/2017 15:00

Today, I got dumped by my boyfriend over text. We wore each others' hats, so I gave his back and asked for mine. He “accidentally” burned it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 761

You deserved it 465

Caught in 4K

By ScrewU - 18/08/2022 01:59 - United States

Today, I got off early from work to catch my wife screwing her co-worker in our bed. I ask her what I did to deserve this. She told me she was “lonely” and that he “always makes her feel like a woman,” unlike me. She would come home from work and I would initiate intimacy, but she would decline every time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 084

You deserved it 190

Don't hate the player, hate the game

By lovebug - 24/08/2022 10:00

Today, after a new coworker flirted heavily with me and made me fall in love with him quite badly, it has become obvious that he has no interest in me, and just did it for the game of it all. I'm hurt and still don't understand why. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 011

You deserved it 236

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The Top

Today, I checked out a "confessions" page for my university. The first confession was from a guy who whacked off in a campus restroom then used a computer in a lab without washing his hands. I work in that lab. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 512

You deserved it 3 408

Today, I woke up to a punch in the balls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 939

You deserved it 4 594

Today, my 23 year old boyfriend of 2 years was forced to dump me, over the phone, by his mother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 253

You deserved it 3 254

Today, thinking I was alone in a public bathroom, I started singing the words to my favorite song. A minute later that I heard a toilet flush, so I just sat there petrified. The other person sarcastically picked up the singing from where I left off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 082

You deserved it 37 224

Today, our boss nicely asked if we were stressed. Before I could answer in the affirmative and ask for help, my colleague replied, “Stress is for the weak!” She was serious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 972

You deserved it 142

Today, I stumbled upon a few of my former uni classmates’ social media profiles, all sharing anti-bullying posts and adding sad comments. Really thoughtful of them, if you ignore the fact that these same classmates bullied me relentlessly during my college years, causing me to take antidepressants daily. FML

I agree, your life sucks 918

You deserved it 173