The Top

The most agreed on FMLs The most commented on FMLs The most favorited

The top of the day The top of the week The top of the month The top of the year The all-time greatest FMLs

A new day, a new dawn…

By therapy works - 11/08/2023 18:00

Today, I finally had a breakthrough in therapy and got some much needed clarity in my life. After breaking away from the fear-based religious indoctrination that I’d been force-fed my entire life, I came to the conclusion that I regret every decision I’ve ever made, including the husband I accepted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 895

You deserved it 219

One law for thee…

By Jules - 03/03/2021 14:01 - Germany - Ebersbach

Today, my country’s health minister said on TV, "Stay home! Don’t travel, don’t meet people!" The same evening, he drove to another state to have dinner with a group of people who gave money to his political party. He had taken a COVID test before. It came back positive. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 110

You deserved it 147

Is this guy Hugh Hefner?

By Gold diggerzzzzzzz - 15/03/2021 14:01 - United Kingdom

Today, my dad is getting married for the 4th time. First it was my mom, then as they got older, he married a woman 10 years his junior, then his third wife was my age and 28 years his junior. Now at the grand old age of 64, he is marrying a 22 year old, 42 years his junior, almost 2 decades younger than me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 261

You deserved it 127

Good advice

By Anonymous - 03/05/2022 04:00

Today, I was advised to never have kids because they ruin your life, ruin your body, cost you money, stress you out, and the end result is they become an adult you don’t even really like or would choose to spend time with if you weren’t related. It was both my parents who gave me this advice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 343

You deserved it 253

Heaven knows I'm miserable now

By lazydude - 17/03/2021 11:01

Today, I got hired and now I have to work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 426

You deserved it 1 650

By DrunkPeopleSuck - 19/07/2019 16:00

Today, a customer at the bar I work at yelled at me for calling her "Ma'am." I asked what she'd prefer, and she gave me her name. When I called her by her name, she yelled at me for not calling her "Ma'am." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 966

You deserved it 130

Alexa, play "Dream baby Dream" by Suicide

By Anonymous - 25/03/2021 23:01 - Australia

Today, I awoke from a bizarre dream where I, a man, was pregnant. If that wasn’t weird enough, when I gave birth, it was a pug puppy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 861

You deserved it 145

Awkward

By Anonymous - 29/03/2021 00:30

Today, I went to my boyfriend's house to cuddle as we usually do. To prepare for this, the first thing I always do is dive into bed. This time, I felt something squishy under the covers, and screamed when I saw it was a Fleshlight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 626

You deserved it 923

Gotta get that clout

By Anonymous - 15/09/2023 22:00

Today, I was tricked into seeming like a sexist pig. A girl at the gym asked me to show her how to use a machine, so I did, then she started screaming at me to leave her alone. An hour later, I was all over the gym social media in a phone video heavily edited to make me look like a creepy gym bro. FML

I agree, your life sucks 935

You deserved it 106

Nightmare

By Anonymous - 01/03/2025 15:00 - Germany

Today, I have the perfect life. The best husband, two well behaved kids, a well paying job, and a happy home. But I just pick random fights with my husband, instigating him into shouting for no reason. I guess I want problems to be happy. My whole soul wants peace, except my stupid brain and hormones. FML

I agree, your life sucks 96

You deserved it 839

Awkward pause

By MothmanKirbaby - 10/04/2021 14:00

Today, a close friend called me to inform me of his newest relationship, and why he's kept it from me - he's been seeing his male cousin for several months and was tired of hiding it from the world. I had to keep my shock in check over the phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 016

You deserved it 160

Spoiled

By ugh - 30/06/2022 14:00 - United States

Today, my beyond spoiled stepdaughter threw a massive fit, swearing she was going to sue her employer for discrimination after firing her. Her dumbass believed she could take her dog to work with her, and the company couldn’t legally ask if it was a service animal or not. She worked at McDonald’s. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 032

You deserved it 183

But mah grandbabiiiiies

By Anonymous - 01/07/2022 02:00

Today, according to my mom, she didn’t make the selfless decision to have me just for me to grow up and make the completely selfish decision not to marry my long term partner, nor to give her any grandkids. FML

I agree, your life sucks 841

You deserved it 180

Road rage

By Anonymous - 26/04/2021 20:00

Today, I was brake-checking a Dodge Charger who was attempting to run me off. It was an undercover police car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 333

You deserved it 1 735

Date grape

By Anonymous - 05/09/2019 14:02 - United States - Staten Island

Today, my boyfriend and I were drinking wine naked after sex. He went to get another glass, but on the way back tripped and fell flat on his face. His roommate unexpectedly came home, saw him face-down on the floor, thought I'd drugged him and tackled me before I could explain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 160

You deserved it 256

By boardwalk the fuck out of my resturaunt - 17/06/2019 00:01 - Netherlands - Amsterdam

Today, I received a tip in Monopoly money. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 875

You deserved it 152

Permission denied

By Eliz - 20/07/2022 00:00

Today, I decided it was a good day to get my first tattoo since turning 18. Today, my parents decided it was a good day to make me homeless, because they are religious nutjobs that still live in the 19th century. Oh, and they’re no longer paying for my tuition. FML

I agree, your life sucks 747

You deserved it 1 319

Insult to insult

By Anonymous - 05/10/2017 20:00

Today, I was crying after a bad day at work. As I walked down the street, a young boy in a minivan tried to get my attention. He kept saying, "Hi, hi, please wave!" in a sad voice. When I politely waved at him, I saw a group of kids in the van giggling hysterically and taking pictures of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 317

You deserved it 291

Family denial

By Anonymous - 29/07/2022 06:00

Today, after years of being guilted for never attending family gatherings, I told my aunt that seeing her son’s face is triggering for me, because he sexually assaulted me as a child and our family swept it under the rug, and acted like it never happened. She told me to grow up, and hasn’t said a word to me since. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 024

You deserved it 166

Wax on, wax off

By Bllllaaaaaah - 24/09/2019 04:01 - United States - Juno

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting it on. At one point, he started to kiss my ear. Then, he stopped, went into the bathroom, and came out with about four Q-tips. He then said to me, "Just take care of your ears, then I'll continue." FML

I agree, your life sucks 881

You deserved it 2 134

You snooze, you lose

By Anonymous - 28/09/2019 22:00

Today, I got turned down by the person who has been wanting to date me for five months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 277

You deserved it 1 096

WTF doc?

By Anonymous - 20/11/2023 21:00

Today, my doctor confirmed I’m pregnant, but she phrased it as, “I’ve got some bad news for you, you’re pregnant.” I could be wrong but should a health professional automatically assume a pregnancy is unwanted? Plus she’s spent months helping us with fertility advice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 627

You deserved it 146

In sickness but mainly in health

By Tiff - 27/11/2023 16:00

Today, during our wedding, my new husband said that he’d divorce me if I “let myself go.” Later, he couldn’t understand why I'd got upset and told me, “Why are you so worked up for? If you don’t want that to happen, just eat healthy and exercise daily, it's not that hard.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 850

You deserved it 315

Scammed

By Eddie B - 18/10/2019 20:00

Today, I found out that I'm just one of the millions who got scammed by what seemed to be a legit website. None of the negative reviews or bugs appeared until after I spent a fortune of someone else’s money on a server that will never arrive. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 188

You deserved it 583

Solid case for the defense

By DT_tasha - 11/09/2022 15:00

Today, our mom hit my brother's head hard against the wall. He was taken to the hospital with a head wound. He came home in the evening, and said that his mom told him to say that it was his sister who'd hit him with a ball. My brother had told me the story and I'd recorded it on a tape recorder. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 205

You deserved it 147

Living a lie

By Anonymous - 10/07/2021 11:01

Today, I realized I'm very much in love with my old boyfriend. I got married to someone else a few months ago, who I also very much love. FML

I agree, your life sucks 303

You deserved it 1 262

Better off

By Mysstou - 14/09/2022 15:30 - Canada - Laval

Today, I decided that since my best friend of 25 years always finds a reason not to come when I invited her to see the house I bought 6 months ago, I would stop asking, and wait for her to make the first move. Did I say today? I meant 14 months ago. I'm still waiting. I guess we're not friends anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 462

You deserved it 203

Why Change a Perfectly Good System?

By queenofthegypsys - 01/03/2020 23:00

Today, while creeping on my boyfriend's ex-wife’s Facebook, I found out that he used to call her the same nicknames he now calls me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 127

You deserved it 961

By Worst City in the World - 22/03/2018 15:00

Today, I traveled through a winter storm to NYC. After a miserable interview, I got in my car and drove only 200 feet before being pulled over and ticketed for momentarily picking up my GPS. Today's total: 5 points, $150, no new job, and 6 hours of driving in a Nor'easter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 557

You deserved it 514

The Good Grandson

By Anonymous - 15/03/2020 21:10

Today, I had to drive all the way across town to clean my grandfather's toilet for him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 374

You deserved it 209

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Annoying Hospital Work Management Language Miscellaneous Relatable DIY Mysterious Awkward Cars Embarrassing Cooking Coworkers Love Anniversary Divorce Transportation Surgery Health Healthy Lifestyle Growing old Money Technology Ironic Relationships Horses Animals Jealousy Birds

The Top

Today, I learned that I'm in that special kind of relationship where my ex thinks we're still married, no matter how many times I tell him that we were divorced over a year ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 107

You deserved it 1 137

Today, my boyfriend referred me to me as "just a friend" to his ex. They swapped phone numbers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 915

You deserved it 6 024

Today, at work I had to convince an 80 year-old mental patient that she's not Ke$ha and that she really has to put her clothes back on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 805

You deserved it 4 882

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She said she wanted to stay just friends. Not only did I get denied, apparently we're also "just friends." FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 375

You deserved it 3 611

Today, my house was broken into. I'm really poor and don't have a television or nice clothing, so they just dumped my trash all over the house and stole my one loaf of bread that was supposed to last me for the week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 921

You deserved it 192

Today, it's now the third week my boyfriend's best friend has been sleeping on our bedroom floor because he doesn't want to face the consequences of his actions back at his parents' place. My boyfriend sees no problem with this, and says he can stay and live off us as long as he wants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 478

You deserved it 312