The Top

The most agreed on FMLs The most commented on FMLs The most favorited

The top of the day The top of the week The top of the month The top of the year The all-time greatest FMLs

Nice mental image

By Maggie - 17/03/2020 17:00

Today, I had no choice but to unclog a toilet with my bare hands. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 650

You deserved it 345

By Loveless - 09/04/2018 19:00 - United States - Ashland

Today, I asked my girlfriend of 8 years if we should get a bigger place. She responded by insisting she get her own place. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 254

You deserved it 441

Worth a shot

By Anonymous - 29/03/2020 17:00

Today, I told the guy I've been in love with for a year how I felt. He replied, "There will never be an us, but you can send nudes if you like." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 962

You deserved it 277

Mother of the year

By Anonymous - 23/08/2025 00:00 - United States

Today, my bitch mother informed me I have two weeks to find a new place to live. When I said she legally has to give me thirty days, she said she doesn’t because I refuse to pay rent as an adult. I have schizophrenia, obesity, and I’m not obligated to pay her rent. FML

I agree, your life sucks 131

You deserved it 1 122

WTF people?!

By Anonymous - 26/04/2020 08:00

Today, as an essential worker, some lady tore me a new one because we were out of large sanitizer bottles. Our doors opened at 9 a.m. and she didn't show up until 2 p.m. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 698

You deserved it 120

This is why we can't have nice things

By Anonymous - 13/03/2024 16:00 - United States

Today, I’m an adult and my mother lives with me, not me with her. She found out I was going to be gone for 9 days on vacation and that she couldn’t come, so she had a “mental break down” and checked herself into a psych ward. Last year, she did the same thing when I graduated college and celebrated it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 741

You deserved it 111

Covert failure

By Anonymous - 18/08/2021 20:01

Today, I failed school and ghosted all my teachers. Nobody knows, but I'm planning on telling my parents in a week. I'm fucked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 279

You deserved it 1 253

By Puggle1019 - 17/07/2018 20:30

Today, my brother gave me a massive rope burn. He got a 30-second talk with our mother. I got an allergic reaction to the lotion used to ease the pain. My mother said I was overreacting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 707

You deserved it 272

By Bridezilla - 26/07/2018 19:00 - Australia - Gymea

Today, one month before my wedding, the venue I booked two years ago increased their standard inclusions and decreased their pricing by 25%. Guess who doesn’t qualify for this new deal. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 315

You deserved it 318

Pubes of steel

By bushburn - 01/06/2020 02:00

Today, I had to finally give my boyfriend an ultimatum. Either he at least trims his giant mass of unruly pubes or no more sex. I feel I have no choice since his huge bush has left friction burns on my face and down below. He doesn’t see the problem. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 105

You deserved it 288

Recipe for disaster

By ApparentlyATerribleDaughter - 12/08/2018 15:00

Today, while I took my dog out, my mother began to cook, took a Xanax, locked the doors, and passed out. When I managed to get in, I called the paramedics because she was in the smoke for at least an hour. When she became conscious, she blamed me for everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 432

You deserved it 217

All in a day's work!

By Joshtodon - 21/08/2018 22:00

Today, I was unloading tile boxes out of my pickup truck into this lady's garage. As I grabbed the last 50-pound box, a passing bird shat on my forehead. Green ooze ran down my whole face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 825

You deserved it 172

Bad boy

By thehaystackerine - 24/06/2020 14:02

Today, my family and I are spending the weekend with my in-laws, and their disrespectful, disobedient asshole of a dog. He does whatever he wants, and if I scold him, my mother-in-law in turn scolds me, then tells me how something one of us did is to blame for the dog's behavior. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 481

You deserved it 305

Cashed out

By sorkin15 - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - United States - West Palm Beach

Today, I went to Costco and the cashier asked me how I was doing so, to be nice, I asked her back. She said, "I'm fucking horrible, I'm working at Costco," nearly making me spit my drink out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 566

You deserved it 3 150

Season finale

By liar liar plants for hire - 03/08/2020 23:01

Today, thanks to traveling restrictions being lifted, I was finally able to go visit the guy I've been chatting with online for the past year. When we met it was like a TV show, well more like three shows: Catfish, Hoarders and My 600lbs life. Turns out he had his neighbor video chat me all along. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 749

You deserved it 672

Truth bomb

By Anonymous - 31/10/2021 19:59 - United States - Greenville

Today, I'm realizing that it never gets better, we just get used to life being terrible. There's no point where it all gets better, just tolerable if we're lucky. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 028

You deserved it 229

Meet the in-laws

By Anonymous - 13/11/2021 19:59

Today, I met my girlfriend's dad. He pointed to two crossed swords above the fireplace and informed me the right one is his, and that if I ever hurt his daughter, he’ll give me a fighting chance by letting me use the left one. This guy thinks he lives in the Middle Ages or something. FML

I agree, your life sucks 913

You deserved it 418

By Anonymous - 02/10/2018 17:30

Today, I was stopped in traffic when a woman rear-ended me, backed up, and sped off along the shoulder, taking my passenger side mirror with her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 048

You deserved it 151

The healthcare system is broken

By no sleep til - 29/12/2021 11:01

Today, I tried talking to my doctor about my insomnia several times, but all she does is prescribe me antidepressants, and tells me to take melatonin or exercise. I ate two melatonin gummies nearly 12 hours ago. I haven’t slept a wink, and my insurance won’t pay for another doctor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 021

You deserved it 151

By Panda Man - 29/11/2018 17:30 - United States - Seattle

Today, I had a meeting with my girlfriend, who I live with and work with but on different teams. Both our teams got laid off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 973

You deserved it 149

Peace and quiet

By Anonymous - 06/04/2023 18:00

Today, after a long and stressful week, all I wanted was some time to myself with a few beers and a good video game. My girlfriend apparently disliked this, because she started blasting Cardi B, ran the vacuum behind me, and poured my beer down the sink when I used the bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 990

You deserved it 231

By yegworstdrivers - 20/12/2018 18:00 - Canada - Edmonton

Today, I fell violently ill half an hour into a flight. I got sick so suddenly that I projectile vomited all over my clothes and the seat in front of me, and to top it all off, I also got diarrhea. Eight more hours to go. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 748

You deserved it 211

Mind your own business

By Brian - 12/04/2023 12:00

Today, I got into a heated argument with my big sister, all because she doesn't like me having a girlfriend. She said that I either lose her or my girlfriend, and I chose to lose her. She blocked me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 882

You deserved it 184

Alexa, play "Loveless" by My Bloody Valentine

By Anonymous - 16/04/2023 15:00 - Australia

Today, after enduring years in a sexless marriage, I asked my wife if she will make love to me ever again, to which she replied, "Probably not." Half an hour later she's talking about us going on a trip to Egypt next year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 440

You deserved it 274

By Mom2grls808 - 20/12/2018 02:00 - United States

Today, I was taking a nap with my 5 month-old on the (carpeted) floor in the living room. When I woke up, my daughter had bombed her diaper, and her and the dogs were rolling in it on the carpet and tiled kitchen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 219

You deserved it 527

Life imitates art

By PinchMe - 29/04/2023 03:00

Today, my wedding day was ruined by my fiancé’s psychotic ex. It started out with the venue and my dress getting pelted by paintballs and one of her friends riding an ATV around, running over my fiancé. He's currently in the hospital with broken ribs and a concussion. $42,000 down the drain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 171

You deserved it 135

By the fish - 30/01/2019 04:00

Today, I started this show and was really confused what was happening until I realized I accidentally started from the last episode so I basically ruined the whole show for myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 759

You deserved it 1 347

Blue Christmas

By Anonymous - 07/12/2020 20:01 - United Kingdom - Milton Keynes

Today, I legally separated from my wife, after many months of her refusing to do any form of self-care. She doesn't wash, exercise, eat full meals other than fast food and she doesn't make any effort to be involved in me or who I am as a person. Christmas is going to be awkward. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 004

You deserved it 187

Think before you speak

By Anonymous - 10/03/2022 14:00

Today, I learned I'm one of the biggest contributors to my sister's severe body issues and eating disorder. Apparently, my constantly making jokes about her having a giant butt wasn't just harmless teasing after all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 173

You deserved it 2 409

Give us a hand

By Anonymous - 16/02/2022 04:00

Today, I'm solely responsible for my kids, entirely, while my husband goes to the gym, his office, goes running, and plays with his buddies. He wanted kids; I didn't. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 162

You deserved it 415

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Annoying Hospital Work Management Language Miscellaneous Relatable DIY Mysterious Awkward Cars Embarrassing Cooking Coworkers Love Anniversary Divorce Transportation Health Surgery Healthy Lifestyle Growing old Money Technology Ironic Relationships Horses Animals Jealousy Birds

The Top

Today, I was riding my motorcycle when a guy cut me off at a light. I honked and swore at him when a bug flew into my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 002

You deserved it 6 592

Today, I discovered that when the man living in the house behind me thinks no one in the surrounding area is home, he likes to take his laundry off the line wearing nothing but a pair of sandals. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 020

You deserved it 2 692

Today, I was walking to class, when a kid came up behind me and smacked me in the face a few times until I fell to the ground. I rolled over and he said, "Oh shit! Wrong person, my bad." FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 623

You deserved it 3 651

Today, someone tried to mug me. I panicked and ran. As they chased me with their knife out, I heard a slip and a shout behind me but kept running. Six blocks later I was spotted, arrested, and held for questioning by the police. The mugger fell, stabbed themselves, and told a cop that I did it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 991

You deserved it 2 856

Today, I ran into my ex-boyfriend in town. We broke up a year ago because he "moved" to Florida. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 528

You deserved it 4 559

Today, my girlfriend is on her period. She hugged me, crying because she was going to miss me. Where was I going? To the store down the street and back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 892

You deserved it 173