The Top

The most agreed on FMLs The most commented on FMLs The most favorited
The top of the day The top of the week The top of the month The top of the year The all-time greatest FMLs

jcarter25 tells us more.

jcarter25 12

I'm from southern Indiana in the US. When something ***** the bed it means something malfunctioned or something went horribly wrong. And, believe me, horrible is and understatement. I had to wear a respirator while I cleaned this up!

timetraveler1854 tells us more.

timetraveler1854 19

Oh man, this is my FML. I wasn't logged in when I published it. When my friend threw my knife to me, I tried knocking it away with the box I was holding but it grazed the back of my hand resulting in me needing stitches as it says in the title. And to the guy that says I shouldn't be doing cattle mutilations in my house, you don't see me walking into your home telling you what to do.

tenhut tells us more.

tenhut 12

Hey guys! OP here. My grandpa has sinus problems so his snoring is way more severe than most people's is. He and my grandmother both were talking in their sleep on top of it. I waited it out and tried my headphones for almost 3 hours before i decided to move. The hotel room only has a bathroom and bedroom, no couch, so it was the only place I could go. The tub may seem a little over the top, but my grandparents are older and have bladder control problems. They need to go to the bathroom multiple times a night, and I didn't want to make them have to step over me. I ended up going out to buy some sleep aids and my grandmother brought some of those snoring strips for him to try. Fingers crossed it works!

vaderfc tells us more.

vaderfc 19

OP here. first some bits i had to cut out for lack of room. i had just been dropped off at my truck as id stayed at a relatives house the night before so it was midday just before starting a return shift at truck rest stop and the "didnt bring my debit card" was entirely my fault as i hadnt checked in my rush to leave as id been running late id already got quite far when id realised id left it behind, also a sunday afternoon so no banks open to get a replacement card....turned out a happy ending though as i remembered i had hidden an emergency 20 in a compartment of said truck. Lesson learned i have a emergency kit with a credit card and cash just incase of attack of the birds has a sequel.

Hgbest11 tells us more.

Hgbest11 6

nah dude. the kids were playing that dumb game where you pretendingly dart in front of a car and then dart back, it's a really idiotic game. but they were never really in danger of getting hit.

C8H18 tells us more.

C8H18 33

OP here. My dad walked off acting like he hadn't heard anything as I yelled, "That's my FATHER!"