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OP here to answer some of your burning questions. Really, FML for all involved, but the crown goes to the dog. He isn’t butthurt about it anymore. I watched for blood and any signs of pain in his next stool because I know what sharp, jabby appendages toddler fingers are and it was like any other shit. He also received boiled chicken breast to alleviate the emotional trauma and a lot of praise for his stand-up response to the whole shit show. To clarify a few others and add some detail: 1. No one got bit. I’ve got a hell of a bombproof dog and he and the kid are tight. He did leap like a gazelle though. Fair to say he was surprised. 2. Wet wipes are a parent’s best friend. Too bad I only had spit and a Kleenex. 3. The amateur veterinarian’s diagnosis was ‘stinky.’ And he wasn’t very happy about it. 4. I don’t know if some people are aware but toddlers tend to throw high emotion, physically aggressive tantrums because they are developmentally limited in their ability to appreciate consequences, exercise restraint, and use non-physical methods to express themselves, especially when upset. It’s normal, he’s two, that’s what they do. 5. This was his first anal offense although he’s previously expressed interest in the brown hole that he’s not allowed to touch ever since he came to be eye level with it. He really had no appreciation of what he was doing and how it would affect the dog. 6. But yes, he did receive ‘discipline’ in the form of a calm, firm reprimand for acting in violence and, when he calmed down enough, a limited discussion of appropriate behaviour and a teachable moment where he came to understand that he had hurt our dog. Little guy was upset by it and apologetic. It went way better than anticipated. 7. People who think children suck for reasons such as this undervalue the insane mileage I’m going to get out of this one for years to come. 8. He’s a really awesome kid with a good heart, but human (surprise). I’m actually pretty sad Trip didn’t add anything but #14 gave me a laugh. I also don't know what he's going to be a 'social path' quite means, but I'm alright if he turns out extroverted.

OP here. Yeah, I understand that facial expression is part of being a performer. My problem was that she never said anything to me before (no warning). Also, there’s a bunch of my peers don’t sing at all or they’re just playing/laughing, yet they have A’s

Ok, followup: cat is fine. She had to stay at the hospital overnight with IV fluids to flush out her system. Also, anyone who understands how picky cats are about what they eat would be surprised that a cat would even consider chocolate food... including the emergency vet, who had never seen a case of a cat eating chocolate in her entire 15 years, simply because cats are not supposed to be dumb enough to try eating it. She had also left said bowl of chocolates (which was up on a high shelf) alone for about three months already, so I had no reason to think she would go after it. Needless to say, I now keep all food items out of reach and sight, regardless of what they are. Since the incident, some of her favorite foods I have discovered (that I mostly try desperately to keep her from eating): tomatoes, peanuts, ice cream, raw sugar snap peas (and other veggies), hair, cardboard, string, rubber bands, and cat litter. The best part? After all that, she doesn't believe that kitty treat tuna flakes are food. Too much like paper...?

Hi guys! OP here, I had an account before but got locked out of it, and now I just created a new one. Basically, it was him and half the class versus the other half, and since his half was full of loud athletic kids, he "won" the argument (meaning my Comp teacher was sick of our shit). He busted out the globe to show us flight paths, which was his main (and the more I think about it... his only) argument for Flat Earth. The debate has died down, thank God, but I fear the day someone manages to set him off again and he starts screaming about "the government lying to us about the shape of the planet!!".

OP here. This happened a few years ago. She's like 28 and has loose wires in her brain. I ended up quitting that job. Not because of her. I haven't seen her since.