The Top

I wrote this FML story and for the record I was in a suit and heals, with my hair and makeup done, as i was on my home from the office. The woman was just a B. More than anything it was funny because she was so hysterical over a seemingly innocent gesture.

By sadcapri96 - 23/06/2011 21:40 - United States

Today, the old lady I've been taking care of and running errands for died. She hadn't paid me yet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 587

You deserved it 47 295

By malos - 12/08/2010 06:53 - United States

Today, my band got booed off stage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 394

You deserved it 47 589

By mydadsawsooomuch - 17/11/2010 13:26 - United States

Today, in the wee hours of the morning I decided to make a naked dash to the bathroom, unfortunately, my dad decided to do the same thing at the exact same time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 186

You deserved it 9 839

By Anonymous - 19/03/2010 10:05 - United Kingdom

Today, I realized that my new boyfriend only showers about once every ten days, and to get him to shower more often I have to bribe him with oral sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 927

You deserved it 22 220

By troubled - 02/01/2010 20:27 - France

Today, I got l disconnect notices for both my water and my electric. After looking over my budget, I realized that I can only pay for one until next month. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 179

You deserved it 7 359

By brittbrat4 - 13/08/2011 06:51 - United States

Today, I was teasing my 12 year old little cousin about him liking my best friend. I guess it made him mad because he yelled "Breast cancer!" at the top of his lungs before power-punching my right boob. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 324

You deserved it 36 666

By Anonymous - 04/04/2009 14:44 - Canada

Today, I logged onto my computer to access a video from my porn stash. However, the folder was empty except for my favourite file. Thinking that a virus deleted everything, I was thankful my favourite file remained. When I opened it, I saw a video of my parents telling me not to masturbate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 104 770

You deserved it 45 231

By Anonymous - 22/05/2015 15:17 - United States

Today, I found out my mom put breast milk in my cereal until I was 7 years old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 149

You deserved it 3 188

Hipster alert

By Anonymous - 24/09/2012 05:07 - Canada - Port Hardy

Today, my boyfriend's transition into an annoying hipster is complete. It started with the not-really-necessary nerd glasses and the Mötley Crüe t-shirt, the final straw being the affected British accent. I'm considering where to dump the body. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 581

You deserved it 3 248

By Anonymous - 14/09/2012 14:50 - United States

Today, my boyfriend tried to spice things up by sneaking into the shower with me. Instead, he walked in on me pooping. I only had the shower running because I was afraid he would hear me taking a dump. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 322

You deserved it 30 259

By foreseeingabreakup - 06/09/2011 04:42 - United States

Today, I had to explain in great detail why it is inappropriate for my boyfriend to grab at my vagina in public. He did it again twenty minutes later. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 368

You deserved it 7 043

By Les Miserables is so sad - 02/01/2013 23:38 - Canada - Saint Albert

Today, I took my girlfriend to go see Les Misérables. I tried to stay tough but completely lost it and started sobbing when Anne Hathaway began singing. My girlfriend called me a wimp and stayed dry-eyed throughout the whole movie. I'm dating a robot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 455

You deserved it 15 235

Class act

By LoveStruck- - 10/02/2010 07:29 - United States

Today, I hung out with my boyfriend for the first time in two weeks. We were cuddling on the couch when he suddenly stands up. I thought he was going to hug me, but then he turned around, pinned my shoulders back so I couldn't move, and farted in my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 832

You deserved it 5 751

Narcissists never unite!

By bntje - 14/04/2013 20:39 - Netherlands - Holten

Today, my sister went into a blind rage at me for "upstaging" her by announcing that I'm pregnant, two months after she did the same. My husband and I have been trying for two years. She's in high school and doesn't even know who the father is. FML

I agree, your life sucks 76 821

You deserved it 3 850

Great timing

By alo1434 - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I got mugged. As the guys who took my purse were about to walk away, my cellphone rang in my pocket. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 045

You deserved it 3 380

I'm right here

By Solemnwishing - 13/07/2009 18:33 - United States

Today, while riding on the car with my family, I put on my headphones and pretended to be listening to music and when my parents talked to me, I pretended I couldn't hear them. They took this opportunity to discuss how fat I was and how I can't hold down a boyfriend. They were laughing as well. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 677

You deserved it 22 486

Grossed out

By anne - 07/01/2016 12:00 - Germany

Today, I recently burned both my hands at work so I had to ask my husband for help changing my tampon, but he refused saying it would make him feel sick. This from the man who routinely sticks his tongue in my asshole when we have sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 270

You deserved it 4 827

By jibberish - 22/11/2009 00:15 - United States

Today, I woke up after drunkenly hooking up with a girl who was really into Twilight. I felt bruises on the lower end of my neck and so I went to the mirror and checked it out. She bit me, 5 times. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 708

You deserved it 39 028

By BBFreak97 - 14/03/2012 20:13 - United States

Today, I was watching a kid at school walk like a gangster. My teacher was standing there, so I stood behind the kid and walked like him, laughing to myself, at which point my teacher took me to one side and told me the kid was handicapped. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 607

You deserved it 59 606

BBFreak97 tells us more.

BBFreak97 6

Wednesday 20 March 2013 4:26

Hey guys! I'm the one who posted this, I just wasnt a member at the time! Anyway, the reason I did it in front of my teacher was because I was really close to the teacher and I knew him well. I didn't get in trouble, I just felt bad. I also have a brother with Down Syndrome so I would never knowingly make fun of someone with a disability. I also live In an area with a ton of wanna be gangsters- which is why I assumed they were doing that.

By Buggga - 22/08/2009 09:07 - Australia

Today, I was instructed to shave my back in preperation for my first tattoo. I'm a girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 099

You deserved it 12 615