Poopoo peepee Kids I just can't hide it

I just can't hide it

doomeddaddy - - United States

Today, my son learned how to use the toilet for the first time. He was so excited he started peeing on the floor. FML

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Chinese New Year: Dragons and Laughter
Celebrate with stories where tradition and humor meet for a colorful Chinese New Year. …

Anonymous - 16/06/2009 07:03 - United States

Today, my toddler peed in his potty for the first time. He was so excited to show me that he flung the pot in the air dousing my face with his piss. Then he laughed. FML

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Pride and joy

Anonymous - 07/11/2025 00:00

Today, my toddler finally used the potty for the first time. I was so excited, I FaceTimed my mom to show her. My kid then proudly picked up the potty bowl and dumped it on my lap. FML

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Good job

Anonymous - 11/01/2010 18:08 - United States

Today, the little boy I nanny for finally stood up and went 'pee-pee on the potty'. I started cheering and clapping, making a big deal out of it. I flushed while he smiled proudly and pooped on the floor. FML

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TiredMommy - 20/04/2017 18:00 - United States - Southbridge

Today, my 2-year-old son figured out that if he takes his pull-up off and DOESN'T go on the potty, he can pee all over things. FML

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jbhadafuckedupday - 15/03/2018 01:30

Today, my 3-year-old came to me very excited because he had gone to the bathroom by himself for the first time. What he did not tell me was that he had shit on the floor, and when I went into the bathroom to check, I slipped on a turd and knocked myself out on the sink. FML

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Training day

Anonymous - 09/11/2011 21:52 - United States

Today, I thought it would be a good idea to let my 19-month-old son watch me pee, since I'm trying to potty train him. I didn't consider that he might try to grab my penis. When he did, I was startled and peed all over the floor and my son. Good job dad. FML

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Anonymous - 01/06/2010 16:43 - United States

Today, I finally convinced my son to use the potty. Later, he saw a show on TV about a toilet monster. Now he's too scared to even step foot into the bathroom. Here's to another few months of diaper changes. FML

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Potty drama

NeverEndingBathtime_ - 03/08/2017 20:00

Today, my two year-old is being potty trained. He got the gist of it and actually did #1 and #2 in the potty and after our little celebratory dance, I went to get him a cookie (which took me two seconds). I come back to see him covered in shit and pee because he tried to go empty the potty himself. FML

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Well done sweetie

Mommy - 29/09/2010 22:47 - United States

Today, my daughter watched a potty training video on Sesame Street. In the middle of the video, she got up and ran to her potty to practice. She then announced, "All done!", and proudly closed the lid to her potty. She then immediately stood on top of it and peed. FML

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When you gotta go…

Anonymous - 07/04/2014 17:43 - Canada - Ottawa

Today, in an attempt to potty train my step-son, my boyfriend and I put underwear on him, hoping that when he peed himself, he would realize using the potty is the way to go. Instead, he peed while sitting on the couch, got up, took off the underwear, and then switched seats. FML

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flockz 19

Wednesday 3 August 2011 22:16

marking his territory. he's gonna ask for a sandwich next.

Infamous_Hawk 6

Wednesday 3 August 2011 22:14

Congradulations, I guess.

turnupthemusic94 0

Thursday 4 August 2011 5:18

Don't worry it will make a funny story later on..

higgy6969 7

Thursday 4 August 2011 5:29

BFD. This is an FML??

tswoosh21 0

Thursday 4 August 2011 6:00

Aw ha how cute.

missy1228 2

Thursday 4 August 2011 6:08

Like a boss

Warcraft_looser 7

Thursday 4 August 2011 6:09

hehe :)

johnl15 0

Thursday 4 August 2011 7:28

sounds like a made up story?

Enigmax2514 7

Thursday 4 August 2011 7:43

Irony irony oh where art thou oh irony

jessesgirl14 16

Thursday 4 August 2011 8:49

Sounds like he doesn't know how to use the toilet after all...

Stylin_Since_97 10

Thursday 4 August 2011 9:23

They grow up soo fast

Tkao96 0

Thursday 4 August 2011 14:21

He's like a puppy! He piddled

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Kids Parenting Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Intimacy Suspicious Sex Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, I went to get an MRI for preventive care. The diagnosis was great, but I ended up having complications with the contrast, so now I have terrible muscle pain and have to see more doctors. I have mixed feelings. FML

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Today, while I was on holiday, my dad let himself in and did some of the DIY I’ve been putting off. He is 6”6 and I am 5”2 so he didn’t realise certain things need to be at my height, not his, like the bathroom mirror, the kitchen shelves, and the hallway coat hooks. FML

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Today, I attempted to fix my leaky sink using a tutorial I found on YouTube. Everything was going smoothly until I accidentally turned off the water to the entire apartment building instead of just my unit. Now I'm known as the superhero who flushed everyone's morning routine. FML

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Today, after weeks of no sex, my boyfriend finally decided to have sex with me. While we were getting into it I accidentally farted in his face while his mouth was open. No more sex for me. FML

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Today, my son, who I admit has a temper, met his cousins from France for the first time. Straight away he lost his temper, but before I could step in, his younger cousin knocked him out cold with a right hook, looked me dead in the eye and said, “That’s how you get a bitch under control.” FML

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Today, my dad's recycling went out of control. He now keeps a calendar of my periods, just to remind me to recycle the cardboard from my tampons. FML

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