Holidays

By best breast - 06/04/2018 00:00

Today, my husband and I hosted Easter dinner. Since I was in my own home, I breastfed without a cover. My sister-in-law stormed out in a rage, screaming that I was being obscene, and equated it to shooting heroin in front of her kids. Happy Easter indeed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 245

You deserved it 692

The thrill of it

By andrew - 04/04/2018 06:00

Today, I broke a world record on third-wheeling with my friend and his girlfriend. As we were driving back from the beach, I took a nap and woke up to my friend receiving head in the front seat. They knew I was awake, but they continued and finished. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 764

You deserved it 1 047

Close-Knit Family

By Bleached_Eyes - 02/04/2018 06:00 - United States - Pikesville

Today, I finally met my girlfriend's family. When it was time for dinner, I was sent upstairs to get her brother. When I walked in, he was laid out on his bed getting a rimjob from his cousin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 683

You deserved it 677

By 3rdWheel1stBorn - 23/03/2018 19:00

Today, I saw that my biological father took his two favorite daughters on a luxury cruise to celebrate his birthday. I didn't find out until the pictures were posted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 708

You deserved it 276

By it's v - 17/03/2018 15:00 - United States - Denver

Today, after my flight arrived late, I ran 60 gates to get my connecting flight. I sprinted up to the gate agent, completely out of breath, and he looked at me, shut the door, and said, “The door is shut. You’re too late.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 414

You deserved it 327

By Anonymous - 11/03/2018 19:00

Today, on my way back from a family trip, my fiancé informed me via text that he'd been cheating on me for years and that he'd moved out of our house and left the state. He blocked me before I could respond. We were together for 7 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 606

You deserved it 368

Incognito IRL

By Stressed out mom - 07/03/2018 01:30

Today, my daughter confessed that she’s pregnant from a one-night stand with some guy she met on vacation in Florida a few months ago. The dirtbag never told her his last name and the phone number he gave her was fake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 187

You deserved it 3 352

I'm right here

By familyfued - 17/02/2018 01:30

Today, I discovered the terrible things my parents say about my wife while visiting them. They speak in Arabic around us and I've never really been able to understand them. Guess who hasn't only brushed up on his Arabic, but spent the last 6 months teaching his wife… FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 026

You deserved it 410

By Anonymous - 25/01/2018 19:00 - United States - Papillion

Today, I was left at home alone while my friends went on a trip to Paris I paid for. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 446

You deserved it 683

Is that it?

By Better not - 25/01/2018 06:00 - United States - Kenai

Today, while on vacation with my boyfriend, I decided it would be a good time to try getting intimate with him for the first time. It turns out his penis is so small that I get more enjoyment from a tampon applicator. We're stuck in this cabin for another five days. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 329

You deserved it 2 413

The gift that keeps not arriving...

By catwithwatermelononhead - 21/01/2018 19:00

Today, the $800, large capacity, professional carpet steam cleaner my husband supposedly bought me for Christmas got "lost in the mail". So did the refund. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 241

You deserved it 317

By Anonymous - 06/01/2018 19:00

Today, after having been off due to the holidays, I awoke to several missed calls and texts from my supervisor asking where I was. Fearing losing my job, I drove the entire 2-hour commute thinking I’d missed a day. I hadn't; he was just trying to get my weekly reports early. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 919

You deserved it 1 377

Cheers!

By Catpiss - 04/01/2018 01:30 - United States - San Bernardino

Today, I finished filling the pages in my passport. Also today, my mom's cat urinated on my backpack, soaking my passport with rancid pee. I have visas that last 10 years and can't be moved to a new passport, so I have to keep this nostril-burning booklet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 246

You deserved it 647

Instagone

By Anonymous - 03/01/2018 06:00 - United States - Lyons

Today, I found out that my girlfriend of almost four years was breaking up with me when she captioned an Instagram post saying, "Who else besides me is going into 2018 single?" I had already bought an engagement ring. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 362

You deserved it 353

By Wellpoo - 02/01/2018 19:00

Today, I started 2018 with a bad case of food poisoning. Not exactly the New Year's cleanse I was hoping for. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 262

You deserved it 328

Dream on

By Robert - 02/01/2018 06:00 - United States - Anchorage

Today, I had another lucid dream. Like every time I lucid dream, I immediately started having tons of dream sex. That would've been fine if I hadn't been taking a nap on the living room couch in the middle of the day. The entire family heard my squirming and moaning and saw me nut my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 734

You deserved it 2 734

By Cheapo - 27/12/2017 19:00

Today, I gave my friend a $5 VR set that I purchased from the dollar store for Christmas. I received a $60 gift card. Later, I realized I left the receipt in the package. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 455

You deserved it 6 234

The gift that keeps on giving!

By Anonymous - 27/12/2017 01:30 - United States - New Bremen

Today, for our Christmas gift exchange, we were supposed to all bring alcohol. I got a Crown Royal Apple box with a couple of positive pregnancy tests. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 612

You deserved it 531

Cheers

By imgoingtofreakout - 26/12/2017 19:00

Today, my Christmas present from my boyfriend was chlamydia. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 609

You deserved it 659

By shadow - 26/12/2017 15:00 - United States - Osceola

Today, my mother-in-law told my fiancé that I had to leave and wasn’t allowed to live there anymore. I own the house. She’s mad because I locked the door so she couldn't walk in anytime she wanted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 000

You deserved it 364

By Starter656 - 24/12/2017 06:00

Today, I'm the designated driver for a Christmas party I wasn't even invited to. Not only do I get to watch people have a good time, but I'm also supposed to not get involved in the party. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 421

You deserved it 827

By ALetterADay - 24/12/2017 01:30

Today, I wrote a long, loving and emotional Christmas letter to my girlfriend, leaving it for her to read when she woke up. Halfway through the day, I received a text stating that she saw my "breakup letter" and threw out all my stuff. I can't even contact her now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 129

You deserved it 478

By Lindsey Taul - 23/12/2017 05:00 - United States - Granite City

Today, while driving home from work, I heard a loud crash immediately followed by the sound of wind and shifting glass over my head. My sunroof exploded for no perceptible reason 5 days before Christmas. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 239

You deserved it 309

By Mike - 20/12/2017 01:30

Today, I received the Christmas gift I bought for my sister in the mail. I also received a nearly $200 bill for shipping fees, taxes, etc. for a $50 blanket from Canada. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 946

You deserved it 1 059

By Mylifeisaboldandbeautifulepisode - 06/12/2017 15:00

Today, I was telling a close friend about the devastating discovery of my husband’s cheating. Turns out, she may be giving my children a half-sister for Christmas. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 742

You deserved it 366

By LittleFriend - 30/11/2017 06:00

Today, I was told I will receive no Christmas or birthday presents for the next 3 years because my parents paid for my rhinoplasty. I needed it because my 12-year-old brother smashed my nose with a hammer in a fit of rage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 012

You deserved it 297

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The Top

Today, I had to explain to my dad why it is important for him to clear the browsing history after watching sexual explicit material on the family computer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 210

You deserved it 4 079

Today, after I got home from school I went to my room to find the maid had cleaned it, also to find a bag labeled "trash" it was all the sketches and paintings I had done in art class, which is my major plan for college. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 763

You deserved it 4 701

Today, I asked my husband for help with a household chore. His response was to fake snore and pretend to be asleep. Later, our toddler pulled the exact same BS when I asked him to pick up his toys. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 834

You deserved it 272

Today, my sister admitted to having sex with her current boyfriend. On my bed. Again. I even have a spare bed in my room and yet they still go for mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 562

You deserved it 763

Today, I was at my uncle’s farm and his pig had piglets. They looked super adorable, so I picked one up. The poor thing started shrieking bloody murder. Mama pig wasn’t too happy. I have the stitches to prove it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 306

You deserved it 1 326

Today, if you asked me how old I felt, I’d say in my late eighties, with beginning dementia and some sort of terminal disease. Unfortunately, I’m only 41 and my doctor claims there is nothing wrong with me whatsoever. FML

I agree, your life sucks 442

You deserved it 136